Attendants

I think the concept of attendants who are not in the bridal party has become uncommon and outdated. I only have them because they jokingly volunteered themselves and we just went along with the title, they wont actually have responsibility.

View Quoted Comment I did mean bridal party. Sorry I am used to calling them attendants.

My friends jumped at the opportunity to be included in our wedding party! That being said, it is both of our first (hopefully only!) weddings. I have noticed most of the weddings I’ve been to where it is not the first marriage, or where the couple is a bit older, there have not been the traditional wedding parties. Most of them have only been the couple standing at the altar, and a couple of them had their children stand with them. Our neighbors just got married a couple weekends ago (his first wedding, her second. Both of them in their early 50s) and he also expressed that many of the people they asked to stand with them declined.

View Quoted Comment Yes we are finding that same thing. We have asked multiple people and they are all declining. It’s disappointing to say the least.

View Quoted Comment I’m so sorry that has been your experience! I think as we get older, the idea of being a Bridesmaid/Groomsman is less appealing. I know I used to love being in wedding parties… but over the past few years it has become less and less appealing. Now I usually just prefer to attend the wedding as a guest. I actually find it more magical sitting in the audience watching the couple take their vows.
Also, I think as we get older and mature, we start to value more the idea of the wedding being about us as a couple, rather than an event that requires others (ie, a wedding party) standing with us in “support”. I think there is something incredibly beautiful about a couple standing alone at the altar, lost in their love for one another, without the distraction of other people.
There is absolutely no rule that says you have to have a wedding party. And if those closest to you have declined, then I definitely would not try to replace them with someone less close/less meaningful in your life. I would just fully embrace the idea that your wedding is about you and your significant other, and your love for one another; not about bridesmaids and groomsmen.

View Quoted Comment That is so true. Thanks for your words.

I agree with Cece, try to embrace the wedding as a couple and pay no mind to those old traditions. Having few or no attendants is more common now, and some are even seated with the other guests (vs. standing), even in a Church. I find being a bridesmaid less appealing as I get older and personally think putting your friends in matching dresses is strange and a bit young. We had our first marriage in our mid-40s and kept it to 2 witnesses (MOH, BM), no optional showers or stag parties. Even though we could afford all that, we chose to invest in a wedding planner instead. I do think our guests really enjoyed just being guests and were even thankful they got to choose their own attire, did nothing diy-related, or had to mind their own kids (adults-only wedding). Good luck. Try not to feel disappointed. Your loved ones will support you as guests which is still a great honor, just without other time and financial obligations. Best wishes.

View Quoted Comment

Very well said. I felt this way with my wedding.