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M
Just Said Yes March 2019

Attire of the groomsmen, fathers, and officiant. Opinions on vests?

MSLZ2019, on October 9, 2018 at 2:30 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 9
I am trying to work out the details of the wedding party's attire to where the level of formality is cohesive throughout the wedding. My dress is more formal and detailed (A-line), and my fiance will be in a suit. To give some context, my wedding is taking place at 12 p.m. at a church in early March. There will be pretty decorations such as roses and a semi-formal buffet. I have the bridesmaids in short mismatched purple and pink styles ( I thought this would look simple and fun, but I still made sure the styles were on the formal side) and then I thought about having the groomsmen in vests and ties. This would match the bridesmaids' formality and save money. I have a couple of concerns, however. If the groomsmen wear vests, would it look weird if the fathers still wore suits? In other words, if one looked more formal than the other, should it be the fathers or the groomsmen? Also, would the pastor look weird if he wears his own suit but even the fathers are in vests ( if I decided to do it that way)? My alternative would be to put everyone in suits and hope it still matches the bridesmaids. Any advice is appreciated! If anyone has done vests before, please share your experience!

9 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    It's up to your FH what the groomsmen wear. The fathers can wear whatever they'd like, again, that's not up to you. They are adults. And out of all of these, the officiant ESPECIALLY gets to wear whatever they want. Asking the officiant to dress a certain way is overstepping. They've participated in many more weddings than you, they know how to dress themselves. You get to pick your dress and dictate what the BM's wear. That's it.

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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    I think you might be over thinking this one. The parents and officiant are different than the wedding party, so I don't think it matters if they "match." A vest and a suit can portray they same or similar formality. At my wedding, the groom wore a tux, the men in the wedding party wore suits as did my dad (his choice), and our officiant wore a robe. I say let the parents and officiant wear what they want and stick to your wedding party attire.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Ok take a breath. If the Officent is pastor of church you get no say in what he wears. The parents tend to pick there own outfit also.
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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    You’re definitely overthinking and potentially overstepping with this one.
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  • Tracy
    Super January 2019
    Tracy ·
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    Vests for groomsmen and suits for the dads will be just fine. My parents have been very insistent on me approving their attire, so I'm fortunate in that area. Even so, I don't think it's inappropriate to suggest a preferred attire for the moms and dads like some here do. Our officient is a friend, so I bought his clothes, and he is happy as a clam about it.
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  • M
    Just Said Yes March 2019
    MSLZ2019 ·
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    Just to clarify, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to wear except for the groomsmen. The fact that the fathers and pastor will wear what they want is what is making me wonder if I should have vests or suits for the GMs, and everyone keeps telling me to make the decision anyway. So basically I just want to know if vests would look okay with other people in suits.
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  • Megan
    VIP January 2019
    Megan ·
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    We put the groom and dads in black tuxes and the groomsmen in grey. We felt the fathers should be more formal and they agreed. Talk to them too and see what they prefer! My dad would’ve been pissed I’m pretty much anything other than a black tux, where as my FFIL isn’t happy about the tux.... we ended up with black tuxes lol. FMIL was on my side haha
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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    I don't think it matters. Pick what you all want for the groomsman without thinking about anyone else. Vests would look fine and more than likely no one is going to note that the pastor is wearing a suit and the GM are wearing vests.

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  • Dedicated August 2021
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    Man some people on here…its just a question you’re asking! I wasn’t going to tell the fathers what to wear but they have ASKED me and they want to know what I want. So not thinking of anyone else doesn’t work for everyone when people are coming to you. I haven’t even talked to the officiant but like someone else said he has done lots of weddings I’m sure he has something nice. The groom and groomsman are in light gray tuxes so we are thinking tuxes for the fathers (its a big day for them too, its the only time my dad is the FOB and the only wedding the FOG will be the father for) in dark grey or black not exactly the same color.
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