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Sara
Expert August 2021

Aunt hosting my bridal shower gone awry

Sara, on February 20, 2020 at 8:56 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 8
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Long story short I had to cut my guest list down a lot because of budget so I am not inviting any family that I have not seen in the last 5+ years. That is basically all of my dad's extended family.

Now my aunt, my dad's sister, wants to host a bridal shower for me, which is great because otherwise I wouldn't have one. The only issue? She is turning it into a family reunion and inviting everyone in the family, including everyone that I'm not inviting to the wedding. I expressed my concerns that it would be rude to invite people to a shower if they are not invited to the wedding. But she says it's okay?
But I would not want to accept gifts from people who are not even going to be at the wedding. Is it wrong to invite these guests? Keep in mind I literally haven't seenosg of them since I was 12. Wouldn't even know them by name.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Agarb, on March 3, 2020 at 11:45 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would decline someone's offer to host a shower for me before I would invite people that weren't invited to the wedding.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I would then make it a shower where it is a celebration in lieu of gifts or just stress that you prefer not to have family there that you probably would not recognize. I would avoid trying to have them there then it would be the awkward thing of them asking you if they are coming.

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  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
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    I would be very uncomfortable with having people invited to the shower and not the wedding, aside from it being pretty poor etiquette. I'm not sure if a "bridal luncheon" with NO gifts would be any more appropriate. All these people are going to be looking for their wedding invitation.
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  • R
    Expert May 2021
    Rachael ·
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    I would talk with her and tell her its not appropriate to invite them to the shower when theyre not invited to the wedding. they might get the impression they're going to be invited to the wedding then.

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  • Sara
    Expert August 2021
    Sara ·
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    This is exactly what I thought, it would just look so bad and make me feel so uncomfortable having people who are not invited. And I honestly think my aunt is using it as an excuse to get the Moshers together because we don't do much family stuff anymore.
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  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
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    I'm with the PP, I'd decline the offer. If she wants to have a family reunion that's something different. It's your event, not hers.

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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    I do think its very rude to invite those to a shower that will not be invited to the wedding. Granted, she is hosting and paying for everything so she can and sounds like will do what she wants. In that case, I would decline the shower and just tell her to plan a reunion if that is what she is wanting.

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  • A
    Savvy November 2020
    Agarb ·
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    Do they know they aren't invited? I'm having a very small wedding, only immediate family but my mom's friends still wanted to throw a bridal shower for me. They're well aware that an invite to the wedding is not coming their way, they simply wanted another way to celebrate. Could this be the case?

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