Awkward Conversations and Ghosting Wedding Party Members

For number 1. Does your solution involve you guys paying for him. I think that's a great solution, if it is because obviously he's important to you two. But maybe he's embarrassed by that?

For number 2, I wouldn't do anything. I wouldn't hang out with her and i wouldn't send an invite. Unless you already sent one, then I would inform her that she was initially invited because she was the s.o. of your friend, and now that that isnt the case, the invite does not stand. I dunno if that's right etiquette but its a super specific situation that makes it a special circumstance.

Good luck!

What was your solution to help him come to the wedding? Maybe give him a few more days to respond. And then shes honestly probably just doing it to be petty. I would just have to say I'm sorry but you arent invited anymore because that could make it awkward for him and we really want our friend at the wedding

Ugh to friends- I can relate but it is what it is. I’ve gotten to the point that I’m not too torn up because I know my day isn’t that important to anyone but us.

As far as the ex I would just say something along the lines that you have your guest list full unfortunately or that it may just not be wise to come since the friend will be there. Obviously you don’t want drama.

Our best man did something similar. Basically told us that he couldn’t do the bachelor party or afford to be in the wedding, then my FH and him got in a fight and he didn’t hear from him for weeks. Then he all of a sudden emailed FH to tell him that he can go to the bachelor party and afford to be in the wedding. It was super weird, and FH honestly thought he was going to ask him to not be in the wedding anymore until he did a complete 180. The situation kind of fixed itself on its own, because the BM did finally respond. Maybe he just needs time to figure things out. It really sucks and is embarrassing to realize you can’t afford to be in a wedding you had already agreed to be in.
Ok first, why the heck would this girl even want to come and be in the same room as her ex when she has to know she treated him terribly?? I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near that especially because she’s not great friends with you. I could understand if you and your FH were super close with both of them, but no. Did the invite and RSVP go out before they broke up and they responded yes? If she asks about it I would just tell her that her ex would be uncomfortable if she was at the wedding and unfortunately you can no longer extend her an invitation.

Let her know that she was invited as the partner of John and since she and John are no longer together, the invitation is no longer for her. I agree, why would she even want to come anyway?

I could only see her wanting to come to start drama m, even if it is passive aggressive. Take care of it sooner rather than later.

I agree with the PPs, she was the plus one so the invitation shouldn't stand anymore since they are broken up. So weird she thinks she can come still.

If she mentions it again at a party or play group I'd definitely remind her that she was invited as "Johns" s.o. and since they are no longer together the invite no longer extends to her as well. This doesn't need to come off as rude, but to avoid drama and awkwardness its for the best if she knows she was the "plus one" and since they are no longer together she no longer applies.

The fact that she acted like she couldn't even remember your name is horrible. I hate that. Why would she want to come to the wedding of someone whom's name she can't even remember. Sounds like its for another reason. Definitely not because she's your friend.

So...

1) I am in the EXACT SAME situation. My best friend of 15 years, who I've experienced my lowest & highest points with and have the craziest memories with, called me a month ago to tell me she can't be my bridesmaid anymore because she won't make it to our wedding (or if she does, it will only be for the last 2 hours), because she starts Medic Training to be promoted at work, so it will now conflict with our wedding day. This REALLY upset me, a lot, for a bunch of reasons. It totally broke my heart and I'll admit I cried daily for like a week straight, despite reassuring her that everything was fine and not to worry about it. I finally got over it and asked if she could still come to the bachelorette party and my bridal shower, because I want to be able to share some special moments with her if she can't make it to the wedding. She ghosted me for weeks, and FINALLY, last week texted me and was super short & vague, but ultimately said she can't commit to attending any of my wedding events. It makes me feel like I've done or said something wrong, but I haven't (trust me, I am one of those people that openly admits when they've done wrong, and I'm just baffled by this one). So, although I have zero advice for you and your FH, I am in the exact same boat; so you're not alone.

2) Sounds like this girl is being pretty devious, like she's trying to be all chummy with you so she can nail down an invite to your wedding to rub it in her exes (your friend) face. Definitely don't fall into this trap. I would ignore her invites to everything and just not invite her to your wedding. If she says anything to you about not getting an invite, just tell her you had to keep the guest list to a specific number for cost reasons and just leave it at that.

Yes, I've kinda am experiencing something with my maid of honor, I have all the girl's in my bridal party meeting all together with me once a month to keep them updated on everything and my maid if honor told me a few days after the first meeting that she wasn't going to be able to attend any more of the meetings, help decorate the day before the wedding make sure I got to the church on the day of the wedding, and or basically do anything to help me but still wants to be my maid of honor but all the other girls are doing their parts plus now parts of her jobs as well, I don't wanna make any waves so I'm just allowing her to stay as my maid of honor but am planning on having a talk with her.
I feel being a part if someone's wedding Party is an honor and something that shouldn't be taken lightly so it's his lost and maybe he doesn't value the friendship like you do. It's your guy's day so just take it as for what it is and joy it and remember your true friends and family will be there to help you make your guy's special day rememberable. And as far as that other person who you really don't want there, it's your wedding and you owe that person nothing.

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Wow. Meetings every month for a year? Can't you just shoot them a text to let them know if anything is going on? I would also not want to decorate for someone else's wedding. That's the job of a coordinator, not your "nearest and dearest".

Aww. I think the BM is letting his pride get in the way and is embarrassed. I would just see if he makes the bachelor party or not to see if you need a new BM ...don't take it personal though.
The chick sounds like a sociopath..using your wedding to either get back with her ex or to hurt him. Either way her intentions are not pure ..did you actually invite her? If not no worries. If so tell her you changed your venue and its only family now. Good luck and congrats!

Well everyone does things differently and that's OK. One: a couple if my bridesmaids are the ones who suggested on meeting once a month so they could keep up with everything going on, two: I don't have a coordinator, a friend of mine and myself are doing everything ourselves, and three: all the girls volunteer to help with the decorating, her being one of them but if she doesn't, then that's on her, it still will get done either way. We all do some things differently and as all it works for that person that's all that truly matters. We are all different and we are all individuals.