Awkward gap between ceremony and reception, ideas for guests to do in that time...

Lol@ MrsO most of the time the people that "love you and want to be there will" is true.

You're right in this case it may play out alot differently with this huge gap.

If "the people that love you" are your parents and bridal party, sure they'll be there.

But say someone that loves you works weekends -- them only taking half a day instead of a whole day and only coming to the reception doesn't make them love you less. Just means they have bills to pay and working helps pay them.

Someone that loves you has kids -- getting a sitter for the evening is easier and less costly than for the whole day.

Someone that loves you just has a crap ton of things to do and take care of and they can make better use of that time than being at your ceremony -- doesn't mean they don't love you, just means that their life doesn't stop for YOUR wedding.

If you are prepared for and okay with people skipping the ceremony, go with it. But if you want people at both, keep the gap as little as possible and/or at least provide a cocktail hour.

"If you really loved us...."seems to be the rational for just about any inconvenience built into a wedding day.

Nope. The guests can think that too. If you really loved us, you wouldn't make us sit outside in the sun for a garden wedding in July. If you really loved us, you wouldn't plan a Friday wedding at 4:00 in the afternoon. If you really loved us, you wouldn't schedule hours for your photos while we have nothing to do....I could go on.

But I don't need to, do I?

I recently did this for my friends wedding. Drove 2 hours to NJ for the ceremony at 1pm. Drove another hour to DE and chilled in our friend's hotel room until the cocktail hour at 5:30. I did this because I love her and I wanted to see her get married! I suffered through the gap and the hour+ catholic ceremony.

This post was meant to get IDEAS as to what I could possibly do to make my guests more comfortable because there is nothing I can do about the gap! That's horse**** to make me seem inconsiderate because there is a gap in the first place. Thanks but no thanks! Geez!

And what I meant by taking pics individually I meant the whole household. NOT each person individually!

If you can't do anything about the gap, you should have mentioned that in the first place. Because the best thing to do about such a gap is to avoid it.

And there are other people that posted on this thread trying to justify such a gap for whatever reason -- people are responding not just to YOU, but anyone else on this thread.

While it may not be you being inconsiderate, it is an inconvenience and you should be prepared for the possible repercussions of that choice. ANYONE who has such a gap should be prepared for those repercussions.

This is normal in my area, I have never been to a wedding where there was no gap, our wedding ceremony was at 1:30 and our cocktail hour started at 4 leaving about 1 and a half hour gap by the time they dispersped the church, for OOT guests (there were about 40) we had something set up at the local golf and country club where they could go and have some light snacks and drinks, people that were close could go home for a bit, last year we invited friends back to our house during another friends wedding gap because we lived in town. If we don't live close then we will go for a coffee or something to pass the time, no big deal.

My bad for not stating it in the beginning but it was mentioned. I do still feel that some people were way too harsh tward me. Mean. U don't need to tear me a new one. Anyway over it.

Again, I think people were responding to others who posted on the thread, specifically when the "The people that love you will be there" idea.

You didn't make the comment, so I'm not sure why you think people were ripping you a new one. We were honest about what we would do if we were guests at your wedding, we made suggestions that you aren't able to do, we warned you of what could happen.

These are public forums, if anyone else is facing a gap, they can read this thread or search for it and get ideas or think twice about a big gap. Not every single comment is made towards the original poster, there's replies to other comments and observations in general.

I can sorta semi understand this if you're in a church that only does weddings at certain times, but it sounds like you're in a site that you could have booked later, and I wonder why that didn't happen.

You think THIS tore you a new A$$hat? Wow.

Gaps bad. Public Service Announcement. No one wants to spend 12 hours at a wedding door to door.

Yeesh! The positive feelings in this forum are overwhelming...

-FutureMrs.B: I may be in the same boat. If we have the ceremony at the church I grew up going to, there is a 35 minute drive between there and the reception. I haven't read the entertainment page on this website so I'm sorry if I state anything they mention. Here are some of my ideas:

- If you have family in the area, can you see if they would be willing to host a cocktail hour at their place for an hour or two? (I've been to a wedding that did this and it was really nice) And since it's summer, maybe they could have some outdoor lawn games like bags to keep people entertained

-If there is a local bar or restaurant by the reception, have people spread by word of mouth that people will be hanging out there in between the two. That way you don't have to pay for anything but everyone can start the party early there before they head to your reception.

- On the back of your programs list some places people might be interested in visiting while waiting. Maybe a museum, state park, zoo, local fair going on that weekend, etc.

- If the reception is at the hotel, many people might be staying there and will relax for a while since it will probably be a late night. And if there is bar, most people will congregate there. Guys aren't going to complain about grabbing a beer and watching whatever baseball game is playing on tv at the time.

My wedding starts at 2 and my reception starts at 6. There is nothing we can do about it either it is what it is.

We are having a Catholic Mass so that will be about an hour. The drive from the church to the reception hall is 30 mins my thought on it is that people can go check into their rooms, or back to their rooms and relax while we do pictures and stuff. People will arrive to the reception half hour early probably. You're guest will find something to do.

If you know any place they can go to then I would make suggestions on your website, or welcome bags. In reality most people don't attend the ceremony any more which I think is awful but those who want too will be there and those and won't complain about the drive/gap time it is what it is. I wouldn't sweat over it I'm not I'll give them suggestions and they can do what they what they are all adults.

FutureMrsB: I posted something similar about a month ago, and I got the same type of replies. :/

I learned that gaps can be a regional thing. In my area (Wisconsin), it is VERY typical to have a 2-4 hour gap in-between the ceremony and reception. I have honestly NEVER been to a wedding where the cocktail hour immediately followed the ceremony. I am invited to 2 weddings this summer, each with 3-4 hour gaps. So, don't feel bad, rude, inconsiderate, or anything else about having a gap in-between.

My wedding has a 3 1/2 hour gap. I am posting ideas for people to do on my website, and I am also planning on including an insert with my invitations. I am going to list restaurants/bars to visit, a botanical garden, Lambeau field tour, and maybe a few other places. I'm also getting married in a historical park, and I am going to suggest that guests bring their "walking shoes" and look around the park after the ceremony.

My ceremony starts at 2, and figure it will be done a little after 3 (full Catholic mass). The we have a USMC quick ceremony and receiving line.

Our cocktails start at 4:30 and we'll be there with the bridal party at 5.

Does this sound ok? Is it considered a large gap?

If there is nothing you can do about it, I would make 2 invitations. One to the ceremony and one to the reception, that way its clear on each invite what the starting times are so some people can chooose to only go to only vs. the other.

Here's an idea. Are your guests mostly from the area? I know it sounds a little cheesy but scavenger hunt. Check knowing some people some may take the chance to shop for your wedding gift.

I do agree that some people were a little harsh- I don't like gaps either if they can be avoided- but at least she is asking what she can do to make it better and acknowledging the issue and wanting to make her guests happy instead of just leaving them to fend for themselves! I've seen that happen before. Can't speak to ideas because I'm still waking up this morning *yawn* but kudos for trying.

This is not your problem. People are adults and can make plans for what to do in between if they want to be at the ceremony and reception.

Thank u to the last few people, great ideas! I love the scavenger hunt idea, I will ask the lady in charge if I can do that. Ill also probably provide little bottles of water etc...