Awkward question about cash as wedding gift

That’s rude to ask of anyone. That information is spread by word of mouth only via your parents/attendants when guests ask them.

Never assume that guests can read your minds by omission of info. It is rude to say ‘we prefer cash’ in any form. Graciously accept what they give.

It wouldn't be right to just announce to your guests that you want money, but since they are asking you directly, it's perfectly polite to answer the question. To be clear is to be kind. You can say, you didn't register anywhere but you are saving up for X. Or even explain the cultural custom if it's something this particular guest isn't aware of. I know it might feel awkward, but again, they are asking; assume they want to know.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your comment! Definitely using this in my reply.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately not all my guests know my parents or my bridal party (for example my coworkers). So they wouldn’t have a way to find out from others. Someone from work happened to message me directly asking this.

“That’s so generous of you! Thank you so much for thinking of us, of course we’d appreciate any gift you want to give!”

View Quoted Comment This. “What ever you want to give will be perfect!”

View Quoted Comment

This response and wording is absolutely perfect! I would second this

View Quoted Comment

I appreciate that Americans don't like asking for cash but I feel like in this scenario she'll be damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

I don't think there is anything wrong with guests asking or the bride and groom confirming that they would be ok with it. If I received an invitation with absolutely zero information about gifting the absolute first thing I would be doing is asking the bride and groom what gift they would like.

View Quoted Comment

This is a great one! We have friends who asked me, when I dropped off their invitation, "Do you have a registry? Would you prefer a physical gift, gift cards, or cash?" I was stumped for a minute because I definitely didn't want to give a "wrong" answer. But part of it came down to knowing the people - super generous and really nice and would literally never think of going to a wedding without bringing a gift of some sort. They weren't asking to put me on the spot, but because they genuinely wanted to give us the thing we wanted most that was within their budget. It was a while ago, but my response was something along the lines of, "We're not expecting gifts and you certainly don't have to get us anything, but whatever you'd like to give would be appreciated."

If they asked you, then it is quite appropriate to answer. It is only rude when the recipient asks or announces it. So tell them yes.

If they ask you it's not rude to answer honestly. I would just say something like "We didn't register because we already have all the household items we need, we are saving for a honeymoon/house/whatever though! Can't wait to see you at the wedding"

View Quoted Comment

Exactly what Judith said.

I know American culture is different and most people think it’s rude to get cash but it really isn’t. In Asian culture all we give is cash or checks. My husband is Caucasian so I made a registry just in case his side of the family wanted to get us gifts. But came wedding day we only go 6 items as gifts off our registry. Instead we got all cash and checks from his side of the family and mine. I think it also depends on you and your FH. If y’all have everything already and are living together most people will just give cash. Since they ask you directly I would just say cash would be nice. That’s what we did. I rather give someone cash for their wedding than a gift they won’t use or will just return for cash. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree with some of the others - 'whatever you give will be perfect!' is a great response.

Here in Australia cash is becoming more common than a registry - I only know a handful of people who had a proper registry, rather than those cash based ones where you give money towards experiences and items that the couple choose themselves. Generally people put a note on their invitations to the effect of -

your presence is the only gift we require and we are so looking forward to celebrating with you on our special day, however if you did want to honour us with a gift a wishing well will be available on the day.