Bach Party Woes- Aita?

Hopefully he can get a refund on his ticket. It sucks, but sometime things happen that change these circumstances. Also, why were you going to Idaho for his bach party?

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Ahhh I should have clarified. The wedding is in Idaho, where his family and GM live. He is flying out ahead of time to go to the bach party and I'll be driving out a few days afterward to prep for the wedding.

No refund sadly:/. Airlines haven't been very generous lately.

That’s unfortunate. I would be pretty upset. If he has friends that are close to you maybe you can ask them to arrange a night out for him as a surprise.


With COVID a lot of people’s financial situation has changed. You can ask the airline to give you a flight credit and use it toward another trip.

I don’t see how you could be an asshole since you haven’t done anything. Having thoughts doesn’t make you an asshole, taking action could.
It does suck so much for your husband, and they should have told him right away when they canceled it.
I’m not sure there’s anything to do about this.

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The groomsmen were his closest friends, which is rather unfortunate. I think the both of us just feel a tremendous lack of support from friends/family. Husband is Army and we visit his friends and our families every chance we're able to take leave. We've never taken a vacation together because our time is limited and we try to spend it with people we love. However, they've never made an effort to come and visit us. Our families are very well off and are easily able to afford the visit. It just feels like a slap in the face. Oh well!

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Gotcha, that makes more sense! Still sucky that this is happening. Maybe the two of you could have a nice date night or something before the wedding and just enjoy time with each other.

Maybe I'm in the minority but I would be absolutely livid if my friends told me to take time off of work and spend $500(!!) on a plane ticket only to be told just a few weeks later the party wasn't happening. I would have pressed them to find out what happened. It's not that he's entitled to a bachelor party, it's that his "friends" forced him to incur a significant expense and then cancelled without explanation. That is atrocious.

See if the airline will give you a credit - if not, I'd tell him to have a difficult conversation with the friends about them covering some of the cost of the ticket.

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I agree with this. There is nothing for you to do about this. This is your future spouse's issue to manage how he feels is appropriate and I don't think anything good could come from you trying to get involved. Let him handle his friends and you handle yours.

The silver lining is that you now don't have to make that 21-hour drive alone.

While you are definitely NTA, there isn't really anything you can do about this. They're your husband's friends, and it's up to him to handle the situation. I can say that if I were your hubby, I would be telling my friends they needed to find a way to reimburse me for my ticket, at a minimum, but that's his ball field.

While the wedding party is not obligated to host a party, the issue is that they led him to believe there would be one and then decided there wouldn't be. That isn't nice at all. (Both my bridesmaids and my husband's groomsmen did this to us as well - I was told they were planning a tea party for me, and he was told they'd planned a weekend camping trip for him. Neither happened, and after all of the other issues we had with all of them, we just didn't even ask.)

Sorry this happened, it is sure crummy.