Bachelor party fail

He, and you, need to accept that a gift is what the other person ( or people) want to give you, not what the person receiving it gets to choose. Lots of people have no bachelor party at all. His guy is guys wanted to celebrate this way, not in some fantasy of yours or your FI. And to make a big deal of it is just saying, we did not like your gift, it was not good enough. Just leave it be. His friends did what they wanted, and it is done. Any other time you want to, do things you want to do. But planning an emergency thing tonight just underlines that you do not have the manners and graciousness to accept the gifts others give you. Leave it alone. His friends spent time with him and did something they don't every day . . . In the last 20 or so bachelor parties Hubby has gone to since we were married, only one has including going out drinking, or any strip club type thing, and most of them refused to go to the strip club and left the party. What you see on TV and read here is not typical of most bachelor parties these days.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Judith. This post was not about being ungrateful. Like I said, he is grateful that his friend did something for him and would never say otherwise. I felt bad because I had friends throw me this amazing party and though he does everything for his friends and would drop anything to help them, they did not reciprocate. I would like to do something nice for my future husband because he deserves SOMEONE in his life to do nice things for him. You know nothing about us or our life yet because of one post you can call me manner less and ungracious. I guess it makes me a bad wife to want to make my husband happy. If i or he could not accept the gift that was given, then something would have been said to friend. Which will never happen because believe it or not, we do have manners. He was simply looking for a fun night out with the guys and he is now doing things his friends know he doesn't enjoy. I will still think of something fun to do with him when he gets home. Thanks for the input. It's been very helpful.

I’d let it be. I think you tying to over-compensate for the guys might make him feel worse. (I totally get you both being disappointed in his bachelor party though. That bites. ☹️).

It might be kinda cute though after your kid goes to sleep to lock your bedroom door and do a stripper dance for him. BUT that’s only if you think he’d like it. My hubby would like the lingerie part but would probably laugh and kill the mood if I tried to put on a show. 🤭

View Quoted Comment Yes I think he would laugh as well bc I am not that coordinated. Lingerie might be fun though. I was just trying to think of some fun games or something we could play instead of just sitting down and watching the usual TV when he gets home. We are usually up pretty late and he is going to be home around 7ish so just thinking of fun things to do in those hours before bed.

I understand what you’re saying. We read on here all the time about girls who are disappointed with their showers, or lack thereof, and who complain about bachelorette parties. Why should they get all the support about how they deserve a great shower/bachelorette if that’s what they want, but you can’t want the same for your man? I think it’s sweet you’re sad for him. It’s called empathy, not being ungracious. However I’m not sure you can do anything to make it better. Hopefully they just didn’t tell you the whole plan because they wanted it a surprise. If not, I wouldn’t try and make it up. Just let it go and if he’s that upset over it he can mention it to his own friends. With all the wedding planning you have to deal with, he can deal with his own friends. Get something special to wear for him on your wedding night instead.

OP seems to think he ended up with the party he got, because the organizer could not be bothered to plan more. But perhaps should consider that a one last night of being single, bar and strippers party, might not be the right thing for someone already living with and sharing a child with his bride. Given a year to plan a day a thousand dollars, they may have planned a few early evening hours at a bar, playing pool. Because that is the party they wanted to give. And yes, I think it is less than gracious to carp about what his guy friends did, before the party is even over, because he had other expectations. But yeah, complaining about other people's gifts not measuring up is not a nice thing. . . There are a huge number of posts here on WW where brides who have lived a while with their groom, often with a kid, get pretty angry that the guy's friends act like he is footloose and having a last night single at a bar or stripper show, when the B to B thinks her man has been committed to her long enough that bar and stripper stuff is not appropriate. . . . OP should look at it not as his guys not caring enough to bother, but rather, some may think they are being respectful of your groom's commitment to you and your child. Which is why I think she should not talk about it and appear ungrateful, or imply his guys just did not care enough to plan better.
If OP talks in a more positive way about it, she may make groom think they were in fact being nice, and respectful of his being a family man already. Why not boost her FI's ego, rather than feeding thoughts that his guys don't care enough to do something nice? If she accepts it was intended by party giver's to be a nice thing, he may feel better about it, and them, and himself. Accept that it was intended as a nice thing . That is what being gracious is, casting everything in a positive light, not critical.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. It is not about to the "strippers and drinking" but more about the thought that could have gone into it. He doesn't get to get out much and I wanted him to enjoy the time he does get out. Of course he is enjoying the time with friends but would rather being doing some other activities with them. It is just about them having a good time.

View Quoted Comment You’re probably both fast asleep. Hopefully he came home in ok spirits. It’s sweet you wanted him to have a good time. 💕

I'm sure he will still have fun! I did have to step in and help our best man plan the bachelor party, but he is one of my best friend's as well and he asked for a lot of my input throughout the process.