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Emily
Just Said Yes July 2022

Bachelor party guests vs grooms party

Emily, on August 13, 2020 at 10:24 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 11
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FH’s closest friends at this point are all women so he is thinking of having a mostly, if not entirely, female grooms party. Makes sense to both of us, no issues there. He does want to have the quintessential bachelor party weekend trip with his bros from high school. Is there a way to frame it so the guys understand? Or is it uncouth to ask them to come party but say no I don’t want you to stand next to me on the big day? I think there’s a way to do it, hoping someone here has a way to approach it without hurting feelings. —For what it counts, he probably isn’t opposed to having two bachelor parties —one with his girls and one with the guys.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on August 14, 2020 at 12:15 PM
  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Have 2 parties
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  • Emily
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Emily ·
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    I think that’s his plan, he just isn’t comfortable having a bachelor party and then not inviting any of them to be in the wedding party itself.
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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
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    I kind of agree with him - it’s confusing that he’s close enough to have bachelor party with them but to not be groomsmen, is there a reason they weren’t asked? Or is it more that he just wants a group of boys to have a bro type weekend? Either way, seems unusual.
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  • Emily
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Emily ·
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    He wants to have a guys weekend away but isn’t as close to them on a personal level as they once were. After moving away they stopped replying to texts or phone calls. They still have a good time when he goes home but they aren’t the ones that support him from day to day, if that makes sense?
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Most bachelor and bachelorette parties have guests who aren’t in the wedding party. I think the biggest issue here is that he wants a bachelor party that his wedding party isn’t invited to.
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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    You can invite people to the bachelor party who are not in the wedding as long as they are invited as guests to the wedding. If they aren’t invited to the wedding, it’s rude. I’m a little confused about why he wants two parties, but he can tell the guys that he wants to have a guys’ weekend to celebrate his upcoming wedding.
    Typically, the groom doesn’t have much of a say in bachelor party planning beyond guest list and vibe/limits. It’s a party thrown to celebrate him.
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  • VIP August 2020
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    It sounds like they haven't been great friends recently, so they should understand why they're not being asked to be groomsmen. It's not weird that he wants to do this, but it would be weird to call it a bachelor party if none of his groomspeople are there, given that they'd normally be the ones to plan it. He should either have one party with all of them, or have two separate parties, but call the one with his bros something else.
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Exactly as Caytlyn said- "Most bachelor and bachelorette parties have guests who aren’t in the wedding party"

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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
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    Sure, I guess to other's points - then why couldn't they do a group bachelor party with his wedding party? It has kind of negative implications the way he wants to separate, I would say he either has the boys join his bachelor party with the wedding party, or do without them.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I think people can try to plan a trip with their friends at any time. It doesn't need to have a wedding focus. And just like any group trip, whoever has the idea can throw some ideas out to the group to see if there is interest/what people's budgets are. So your future spouse proposes a weekend trip to his friends and, if they want in, then everyone works together to make the plan and pay for it equally. It can be that simple.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I feel like it would be ok to have one party. i invited people to mine that weren't in my bridal party.

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