Bachelor party worries?

It's perfectly fine to be against things like this. You've expressed your feelings about it to your FH and he's agreed to respect those boundaries. Worrying about it isn't going to get you anywhere. This is where you need to trust your FH.

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I know, I know. I also know peer pressure is strong. I would lose respect for everyone involved if that happened.

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Your FH's respect for you should be much stronger than peer pressure.

You cannot control what your FH does you can only trust he will make the right decision to not hurt your feelings by going against your wishes. Self confidence is a huge issue for many women and I'm sorry you have these concerns for yourself. I hope he uses his best judgement and does not do anything to jeopardize your trust in him or further add to your own self concerns.

This is only my perspective about it. I find strip club outings in groups can be ok. The women and men strippers have strict guidelines about what they can and cannot do. The customers also must follow those guidelines. Most go for a good laugh and to drink. It's not everyone's cup of tea.
I would be more worried about someone hiring a private stripper to show up at a house. Although not too common, things can get out of hand. It's just riskier.
As long as my SO let me know they plan of a strip club ahead of time, me personally, I'd give the go ahead. It's a weird form of trying to embarrass each other and get drunk.

All you can do is be honest about your feelings, ask that he respects them... and trust

You can't control anything else

I feel uncomfortable with strip clubs too. Said as much. He respected my wishes. Used another friend's bachelor party as an opportunity to show that by not attending.

Then when it was time for his friends to plan his trip, they respectfully did not include strip clubs on the itinerary.



Simple.

If his friends chose to go against my wishes or what he had made clear to them... that would have been their choice and nothing I could control...

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So if his friends took him to place where nasty things go down, that would be a ok? Even if his groomsmen make that decision, I'll still hold him accountable.

View Quoted Comment Obviously he should be held accountable.

I feel the same way about strip clubs. Frankly I think it's because I've never been inside one (male or female) so I have come up with this sort of fantasy image that the women in there are sex goddesses and prey on married men. I bit the bullet for my husband's bachelor party. He only went with a couple of guys. Mind you, this took place in Anchorage, AK and the party scene is fairly mild here but nonetheless--we still have strip clubs. I am a very self conscious person and am always comparing myself to other women. I'd always struggled with it throughout our 4 year relationship and had convinced myself that it wasn't because I didn't trust HIM, it was because I didn't trust other people. A good tip is to plan your bachelorette party (or even just another girls night) on the same date as his party. If you're sitting at home alone on the couch while he's out on the town-- your mind is going to run amok. You also have to remind yourself that he is marrying YOU. You are the one he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with. No matter what insecurities you may have about yourself, you have a man who loves you completely for everything that you are. Trust in him. I didn't want to take anything away from his bachelor experience. Everything about the wedding and parties had been decided by me already and I had to realize that he needed a night for himself. He had fun, made some memories, and came home to me no different than he left that night. Yours will do the same.

There’s nothing you can do aside from making your feelings clear to your FH. Also, if you feel strongly that strippers are cheating, and if cheating is a dealbreaker, you will have to reconsider your relationship if anything happens.

You cant control your FS. You can’t force a groomsman to do anything. The best you can hope for is that he’ll respect your wishes.

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Sorry for such a late reply! I know I need to be secure, but something about live (not pornos) naked women on my fiancé just upsets me. When I dated other guys, they were w/me, but ogling other women and telling me about it. It didn't matter whether they chose me, what mattered was they had the hots for other women. This is how I feel about strippers and my fiancé. As I said, he didn't like the idea of me going to a club and grinding on random dudes.

Mary once you told him about your feelings you have to trust that he heard you and respect them. As far as your self esteem you do need help in that area men are going to ogle at other woman just as though we watch movies and think a guy is hot. He has eyes and can recognize other attractive women. That doesn't mean you need to compare yourself to them. Whatever it is that is giving you anxiety and self doubt you should probably work on or it could cause you issues down the line. confidence is silent, Insecurities are loud they can have you second guessing him or yourself with there being nothing there.

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Yea I do need to work on my issues. I know men have eyes, but I'd rather not hear about pretty other women are. I notice handsome guys, but I don't say anything.