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Mrs L
Master March 2012

Bachelor/Bachelorette parties....How many almost ended it?

Mrs L, on September 17, 2012 at 5:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 27

I can look back now and laugh (married nearly 6 months) on how rotten things got because of DH's Bachelor party, mainly due to his staged BS from then FSIL. I was literally two weeks left to go and almost ended it. So glad I didn't. But after reading several posts, apparently theres alot of B party drama. Anyone that is/was so close to calling it quits due to B party crap?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Amy A., on September 19, 2012 at 11:01 AM
  • KM
    VIP November 2012
    KM ·
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    I know people that SHOULD have called it off after the bachelor party. They are divorced now but the cheating on the bachelor party should have been a sign.

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  • Mrs L
    Master March 2012
    Mrs L ·
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    Oh wow, yeah cheating would be a deal breaker. My issue was more about his familys motives and their blanten disregard for my feelings on things. Also, DH has issues with drinking in the past and they know this yet chose to ignore his and my wishes. To make a long story short, before and after the party I was baited by them and we had a long week of soul searching to decide where our future was headed. Had they gotten their way, the wedding would have been ruined. Happy to say, that's not what happened!Smiley smile

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  • Iris
    Master February 2014
    Iris ·
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    Mmm touchy subject. It depends on what the factor is in ending it/not ending it. Cheating, definitely end it. Personally for me, FH AND his friends know how I feel about strip clubs, that is absolute no. But knowing his a-hole friends who think I'm snooty, they'll try to surprise him. I trust him to be man enough to walk away. However, drunk or not, IF (scary chance) he didnt walk away, I've told him it'd be over, of if ands or buts. I'm not fearful about it, but I know we will have to have big serious talk w/his friends

    If it was some silly drama, like BM or someone punched so & so, so & so threw up, DUI, etc, nah no reason to call quits. The drama has to be insane enough I guess

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  • Mrs. Wilson
    VIP August 2013
    Mrs. Wilson ·
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    I'm nervous about the parties to be honest but as long as there isn;t cheating i will survive i want the bachelortte/ bachelor party to happen a few weeks before the wedding incase there is hard feelings they have time to settle

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  • Sonia
    Devoted November 2012
    Sonia ·
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    I am a have a bachelorette party, but I do have a few rules: No booze, no boys, no poles.

    (I'm kind of a tame girl.)

    FH's bacherlor party: Rock climbing.

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  • kscha925
    Super May 2014
    kscha925 ·
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    We aren't having any. We don't have friends really. My FH doesn't/can't drink anyway..

    And if he does have one, it will probably be with this one guy who is his cousin's husband and they will probably get pizza, tang and play video games till 2 in the morning.

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  • Mrs L
    Master March 2012
    Mrs L ·
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    In the begining there was a decision made (mostly by FH) not to have B parties at all. His family didn't care about that eiether, they made every effort to josh him about it, and waited until two weeks before the wedding to spring one on him. The original plan was for the guys to have a night out at a strip club where there was no drinking allowed. But the actual party was having the strippers come to the house and have the alcohol free flowing, then at the end of the evening all the family (me excluded) was there taking pics and posting party fun on fb! Then the next week, (9 days before the wedding) after knowing that it caused an arguement between us, they kept calling and texting ME to see if the wedding had been "called off!" To this day I tell DH that I have gotten past what they did, but I will never get over it!

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  • J
    Expert October 2012
    Jessicka717 ·
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    I don't want one nor do I want him to have one. We have been together for 8 years and I do not see the point.

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  • Amanda
    Master July 2012
    Amanda ·
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    I'm a lucky girl. DH had a very calm bachelor party. He went out for pizza with some guys, drank a little, went to another bar, then went to his best man's house. He could have gone to the strip club (I don't like it, but I trust him, so I never told him he couldn't go) but he didn't.

    Mine was wilder than his and even mine was tame. We got really drunk, danced the night away at Boogie Nights, and did shots. No strippers, no dancing with guys unless you count my best guy friend who's fiance was at my party, and just good fun.

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  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·
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    We didn't have any so I didn't have to worry about it. DH also isn't the type to get all up on other women, so I wouldn't have worried anyway. I made very clear my feelings on strip clubs, and that he was not single because he was engaged and if he went to one I would end things long ago, and he knows I'm serious. Knowing him before getting together helped me not worry about it too. If in the 2 years before we got together he never slept with a random woman, or anything, and he had no reason to be on his best behavior around me I don't think he'd suddenly start now. I even offered to be his wing man on several occasions when we first started hanging out platonicly lol

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  • KM
    VIP November 2012
    KM ·
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    P.S. it doesn't matter if your man went to a strip club or not. The people I know that cheated on their bachelor parties went out to play pool, a bar, or a club. Strippers just want to make money. Random girls out at a bar want to hook up...just sayin'

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  • Gamer In Love
    Devoted October 2012
    Gamer In Love ·
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    Fortunately, I'm looking forward to a bachelorette party that won't get out of hand. But admittedly, I'm nervous about his bachelor party. If my (now our) friends have it, I'm not worried, but if his cousins do, I will probably be a little nervous. I trust him, but I know how out of hands his cousins get. lol

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  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·
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    KM, that's not always the case....sometimes strippers want to do more than make money. I know of two cases currently. One of DH's friends just f'd up his 8 plus year relationship because of a stripper. And one of my former classmates is a stripper and her boyfriend started out as a customer.

    That's not even why I dislike strip clubs though. I just don't feel anything where you interact with the opposite sex that intimately has a place in a (my) committed relationship. I see it the same as if he went to a club and started grinding with a random girl. Sure she could be just out having fun and not looking for anything more, but I'd still have a problem with him seeking her out for that close contact. I just don't see how a stripper making money makes it better than a random chick who isn't getting paid. IMO don't go looking for trouble and you won't find it.

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  • Mrs L
    Master March 2012
    Mrs L ·
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    I was more upset about the strippers coming to the house for a few reasons, (A) ALOT more happens at a house party where the stippers have already made their "flat rate" and are always still fishing for tips, for random acts of whatever else! (B) It was also the having alcohol ready and available, (C) FSIL having it at her place was her way of keeping tabs on her man, all the while egging on her brother.

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  • Iris
    Master February 2014
    Iris ·
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    KM: so true, it really could happen anywhere. Strip clubs/any clubs, hooters even, seem to be society's standard/typical for bachelor parties.

    Like Pan, same, I'd end it if I found out he went to a club grinding on some girl dancing. The few times I went to a club w/besties (when we were first dating) we would dance just us. If a guy tried to get up on me, I'd give him my evil eye. Engaged, I dont go clubbing w/o FH.

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  • Cyndi K
    Master August 2012
    Cyndi K ·
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    Our parties were pretty low key. Instead of strip clubs DH and his guys went to a "redneck" themed block party that was a fundraiser for the troops. Being a country boy DH loved the idea and they had kegs and games and a dj. All of my girls bailed on my 30 minutes before we were going out so MOH and I went to a bar where I knew the DJs and where DH use to bounce. After a few drinks I called DH and told him what happened so him and his guys showed up at the same bar and we ended the night together. At first I was really bummed and felt I ruined his night but I know he didn't care and it was still tons of fun. Actually more fun since I'm friends with the guys more so than girls.

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  • WasSoon2BMrsSmith
    Master September 2010
    WasSoon2BMrsSmith ·
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    Any club these days is NO better than a strip club, I can't even count the amount of asses, thongs, pussys and boobs I've seen just being out on a Saturday night. (I live in a university town) Come september , every september through till Feb, there are stripper shoes and pantless girls on every corner Thurs night till Sat. If I was a guy one of those chicks would be much more appealing then someone you know is prostituting on the side. If a guys gonna cheat hes gonna cheat, and theres way less of a chance of it happening with a stripper. IMO

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  • Combay
    Master April 2013
    Combay ·
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    We're considering a joint party if we do clubs or if we do it separately, we're considering activities that are none club/stripper related. He's considering golfing with his brother and friends. I might do a stripper pole class or spa day.

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  • Iris
    Master February 2014
    Iris ·
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    Mrs. Smith: I love your point, very true

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  • Groomzilla
    VIP November 2012
    Groomzilla ·
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    FW's party is spa day, dinner/drinks and then drinks at a nice hotel lounge. I'm not sure what I (the guys) will be doing..but definitely NO strippers/poles etc. Probably dinner and pool or something of the like. Low key.

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