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Sarah
Expert October 2021

Bachelor/bachelorette party

Sarah, on October 26, 2019 at 9:43 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 20
So my fiancé, his best man, and I where talking about my fiancé’s bachelor party. My fiancé then informed me he is going to have some of his female friends attending his bachelor party (which I am not alright with). Has anyone else experienced their fiancé’s having female friends at their Bachelors party? I trust my fiancé completely, I just don’t trust some of the females he is friends with. Could this just be me paranoid and wedding anxiety?

20 Comments

  • Mandee
    Devoted September 2020
    Mandee ·
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    Darling you aren't in control of who gets to go to his bachelor party. That being said, communicate your concerns to FH. Has he been friends with these women for a long time? I have a lot of close male friends that FH knows and has met, but I also don't hang out with them alone in private and they will not be coming to my bachelorette.

    I am concerned with you saying you "don't trust these females, but you trust him". If you trust him then you don't need to worry about anyone else. My FH trusts me and I trust him no questions asked. It doesn't matter who we are around, we both know that we're only going home with each other!


    I hope that helps!

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  • Sarah
    Expert October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    It helps a little. I know he said he has been friends with the one for years and he just became friends with this one female from his work. I have not met either female. It might be different if I actually meet them. But he does not seem to interested in introducing them to me.
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    I would express your concerns. Just tell him you’d feel more comfortable if you at least knew the women.
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  • Arlene
    Savvy November 2020
    Arlene ·
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    That’s so weird to me! If he has been friends with one of them for years how isn’t that you haven’t met her yet? And why is he inviting a coworker he just met? I would definitely be asking questions. Hope he understands your concerns and it all goes well for you.
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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I would think women at the bachelor party would be a good sign--it would mean he isn't planning on going wild with strippers and the like.

    But seriously, there are close to 4 billion women in the world. If your FI is trustworthy, you don't need to worry about any of them. If he isn't, he can find someone to cheat with. So there really is no point in worrying about whether the women are trustworthy.

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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    He's been friends with one of the women for years and he's not interested in introducing you to each other? You're his fiance. Do you not find this odd? He's close enough with these women to invite to his bachelor party, they're presumably invited to the wedding as well. And yet he has no interest in you meeting them?

    Some women are gay. Some women like strip clubs. Having 2 women at a bachelor party does not mean the party will stay PG.

    My fiance got annoyed at me when I had yet to meet a couple of his closest friends. In fairness to me, I thought I had already met all his friends!

    I am sorry to say this, but I say red flag. I say this because I just happened to see your other post about him having a bigger guest list and wanting you to cut your guests based on who's contributing. I'm not saying he might cheat. I just find it weird that he hasn't had you meet close friends, whether male or female. Maybe you wouldn't be struggling with your guest list as much if you had more mutual friends rather than your fiance keeping his friends from meeting you.
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  • Stefanie
    Devoted December 2019
    Stefanie ·
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    I agree with you 100% and also saw your last post, I feel it’s a red flag too. Specially inviting someone he just met? I wouldn’t know how to feel about, I understand 100% how you don’t like any of this
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  • V
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Veronica ·
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    Definitely agree!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I’m be very irked and weirded out. Who does that?! Ugh. Not okay in my book.
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  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I agree that it’s odd to invite someone he just met, especially a girl. It’s strange to me to invite any girls, but to each their own. My fiancé has girl friends and I have guy friends but no one of the opposite sex is invited to the bachelorette or bachelor party, honestly that idea didn’t even cross my mind. I would voice your concerns and I think it’s totally appropriate that you meet these women. Do you know what they’re doing for the bachelor party?
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  • L
    Super August 2023
    Lunajay ·
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    If you trust him then give him the credit he deserves. Your the one he is marrying, so dont let your inner feeling get yo you. I know we all feel some type of way about female friends/stripper but by the end of it all you trust him to do the thing.
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  • Mandee
    Devoted September 2020
    Mandee ·
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    More Advice: Boys are dumb. They don't understand why they need to explain or introduce people to their significant other if they don't anticipate hanging out with you two together. That being said, you should have at least been introduced to the one he's known "for years". That's sketchy.

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  • Kathy
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Kathy ·
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    Nope, this is a red flag! Why does he need to invite females he just met? Especially that you never met?

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  • Desiree
    Super March 2020
    Desiree ·
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    I do not like the sound of that... I know generally people on WW will go with the "Just trust your FH" spiel and make you feel weird for questioning him, but this just doesn't rub me the right way. I wouldn't be the first to say voice your concerns, or put your foot down. I know you cant control him, but yikes.
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  • Desiree
    Super March 2020
    Desiree ·
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    👏👏👏 This was so much reality. Well put. Reminds me of someone I used to know too...
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  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    Not necessarily true some women are fluid n like strippers lol.

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  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
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    Some women do like strippers... maybe it’s as simple as tht. But i would defiantly have to meet her 1st. My husband wouldn’t be hanging out with a woman I’ve never met, even if we have why would you hang out with my husband when I’m not there? Unless she’s gay...i wouldn’t go for it. Just meet her & keep us updated!
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  • Sarah
    Expert October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    So I told my fiancé last night that before he has his bachelors party I have to meet everyone that is attending it. Plus it should be alright, since he told me my two brothers are invited. So I know they will keep him in check.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    You said you trust your fiance but you don't trust the girls because you haven't met them (understandable). Now you say you know your two brothers will keep your fiance in check. You either trust your fiance or you don't. He has given you reason to not trust him. You implied you feel reassured because your brothers will be there. In a healthy relationship, you shouldn't need that reassurance of having that check.

    In everyday real life, your brothers won't be around to keep your fiance in check. You should not have to rely on them (or anyone else) to keep your fiance in check.

    I don't know your fiance. The only info I have is what I have. I don't distrust your fiance because he invited women to a bachelor party. Big deal. Good for him for pushing traditional gender norms. I don't trust him because he has shown no interest in having you meet the friend to whom he has had a close relationship for years. What other close friends of his (male, female, nonbinary) have you not met?

    Your fiance put you in a position where you feel the need to meet everyone who is going to the party. You feel better because your brothers will keep an eye on him. This was my mother's attitude when she would decide whether I could sleep over at a friends house for a slumber party. How sad is that?

    I am sorry to say all this. I hope I am wrong. I just hate seeing people get taken advantage of. I wish you the best.
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  • Expert May 2021
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    I completely understand what you mean when you say you trust him but not the female friends. One of my fiancé’s groomsmen has a female friend who is married. She shows up at a lot of parties she’s not invited to. If it ends up on social media that this group of guys is here or there she will actually drive over an hour to said place. She is usually drunk and always ends up naked and making a fool of herself. She’s disgusting. My fiancé has actually left a few events she’s showed up to because he wants no part of all of the things she brings to a party. I would let him know you think it’s odd they’re coming and that you don’t feel comfortable with the one woman who is a stranger to you. If they’re hanging out outside of work you should have met her at some point.
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