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Pamela
Beginner February 2020

Bachelorette / Bachelor Party

Pamela, on October 9, 2019 at 12:13 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 10

I'm having challenges with getting our MOH & BM to be proactive to reach out to offer support or plan the Bachelorette / Bachelor parties. I've mentioned things that I'd like to do and that I'll pay for most of it (with the other attendees paying for themselves), yet nothing has been booked. I don't want to be too forceful with it, but also don't want to be disappointed. The wedding is in 4 months and we wanted to have the parties a month before the wedding so we're down to 3 months... Any advice on how to get the ball rolling without being too pushy? Trying not to become bridezilla on this.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Tara, on October 18, 2019 at 11:02 AM
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    What do you want to do for the parties, and how much are you expecting people to spend?

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  • Pamela
    Beginner February 2020
    Pamela ·
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    I've asked to book a hotel downtown SD and that we'd split the suite into 3rds. This way it's me, my MOH and my BM paying for our room and having each our own bed. We'll go to a nice dinner and a dueling piano bar, of which I will pay for my own dinner / admission / drinks (and everyone else will as well). My expectation would be that she'd reach out and tell me what the cost would be. I have heard NOTHING. No talk about it, almost like not interested at all..

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Well, you only get a bach party if someone OFFERS to give you one. Hopefully they did that before you gave them your wish/demand list. That said, they have 3 months to plan a night in a hotel - that's not too big a deal. If they don't plan anything, then you don't get one.

    Some people are not interested and it's fine - these things are absolutely not required.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Did you ask her & the other bridesmaid what their budgets are?

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  • R
    Devoted November 2019
    Rachel ·
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    I planned my own Bach party and it was fun!
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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    It's definitely cutting it close for planning a bachelorette party now but if it's 1 night in a hotel that's not a difficult thing to plan. Maybe they are still working on it. Maybe they are planning to surprise you????

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  • Pamela
    Beginner February 2020
    Pamela ·
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    I asked them to tell me what it wowouwowoulwowouwowould cost and I'd pay a third or all depending in what they were comfortable with.
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  • Pamela
    Beginner February 2020
    Pamela ·
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    Hopefully! But they have zero idea who I'd invite.
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  • Chanieish
    Dedicated May 2021
    Chanieish ·
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    I’m helping plan my bachelorette with my BMs! They asked where I wanted to go and it’s New Orleabs no question!! My sister/MOH is a darling but very introverted and not a party person like me, so I don’t want to burden her with Bach planning and she totally appreciates that!

    Im kinda detail obsessed so I’m glad they are letting me help plan!!
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  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
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    That's a tricky situation... are you only planning on it being the 3 of you? Or did you want to invite other friends? If you want to invite other people, maybe start a group chat and tell everyone what you're thinking to get some feedback. Bachelorette parties aren't required, but kind of assumed they'll happen. And if you're willing to pay for everything on your own, without any expectation that anyone pay your way, there's no reason they shouldn't or wouldn't' want to participate. If you just wanted it to be the 3 of you, maybe start a chat with them and tell them again what you're thinking. That's nothing too crazy or expensive. Maybe do the research and figure out what it might cost for the whole thing then send a message and tell them what each person would pay and say you were going to book the room unless someone else wanted to do it? Unfortunately, it sounds like if you want the party you're going to have to take the initiative to plan it completely.

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