Bachelorette & Bridal Shower with small group & no bridal party

I'm from Nebraska but my FH and I live in NJ where he's from. My MIL is throwing a shower in NJ and myself/mom/stepmom are planning a brunch for my family and friends back in Nebraska. I didn't want my family/friends in Nebraska to feel left out, but also didn't want them to have to travel twice for the shower + wedding, and I didn't want to have to figure out how to get all the gifts back to Jersey if I had a shower in Nebraska, so a brunch seemed like the best solution. My bachelorette is a weekend in Nashville (in the middle distance wise) with my bridal party and a few other friends. But if you don't want to ask people to travel, maybe you can go to where you're from and have a bach weekend there with your friends there OR like you said you can just do something chill with the people where you currently live. They don't have to be huge ordeals. Make it work with you and your people.

I would just have something localish with your 3 local friends. Nothing wrong with that! Can find something fun and simple like a sip and paint and or a day of pampering or brewery or vineyard or whatever is your speed!
My entire bachelorette guestlist was 3 people, and it was so wonderful I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I was worried going bigger would ruin my fun, tbh, bc I’d be so preoccupied making sure everyone was having a good time. With just a couple friends I could just relax and enjoy the moment !

Hopefully you do get to have that hometown shower. I wouldn’t worry about FH’s family. If they want to be involved, they can offer to throw you a small local shower nearby — but that’s up to them! It’s not unheard of to have 2 separate showers, one for each side, especially when there is distance involved — but a shower is something hosted in your honor, so, only if they want to do that. I had a hometown shower but did skip the local one, even though H’s family is local, bc his family is teeny tiny, and even though my local bridesmaids did offer to plan one, I didn’t feel the need, and a lot of the people who would’ve made the guestlist are people I felt funny about effectively asking for gifts from (As that’s the whole point of a shower) , but that was also because everyone was already traveling for our wedding!
That said— small showers can be great ! Mine was small (this time not my choice— just the summer weekend date coincided with several peoples’ vacations! I was a little worried it would be awkward when I heard the guest count, but it was really the loveliest way for it to be! I got quality one on one time with everyone and everyone got into the games and it was a delightful intimate experience, and a great way for some of my cousins to get to know my husband better— so often when we’d seen them it was huge family events that were a whirlwind, so I really cherished the opportunity!
I’ve also enjoyed being a guest at a small shower! A particularly memorable experience was a nice brunch out in a back room at a cute little restaurant

I’m having a small bachelorette party (5 guests) in early April. Still to be determined what we are doing but it’ll likely be mini golf (or another fun outdoor activity) or a spa day and/or visiting a local winery or wine & paint, and then sushi (or another dinner). We may even have a slumber party with wedding-themed movies, junk food, games, etc. My closest friends have very busy careers, and, as several have kids, I wanted something low-key, and inexpensive.

My bridal shower will likely be larger though (I think we have 16 RSVPs so far, and RSVPs aren’t due for a month), and for those that can’t make it in-person (our siblings and extended families live out-of-state) we plan on having a virtual option. They can log in and say hi, participate in some of the games, and, if they choose to send something, I can open it on camera with them. One of my friends did this for her shower and it went really well. Other friends have had 2-3 showers, hosted by each family and/or close friends or even coworkers.