Hello everyone. My entire bachelorette party is in shambles at the moment and despite doing my best I’ve pissed everyone off. My wedding date is 4/4 and bachelorette is 2/29.
My maid of honor has decided as of this past weekend she does not want to be MOH anymore. Said she got a new job and won’t ask for the bachelorette or wedding date off, and won’t be available. Cool, decade long friendship down the drain.
My bachelorette party has gone from 5 other people to 4, and 3 of the women are bridesmaids. The 4th person is not. This is all me trying to make sure the 4th person doesn’t feel left out. I live in Seattle. The bachelorette and wedding are in Fort Lauderdale Florida. The weekend of the bachelorette is the only time I have to do a makeup and hair trial, taste food and cake, and check out the venue before the ceremony. I’m paying for all of us to have a makeup trial, inviting them all to the food tasting, and making a signature drink for everyone based on their own unique tastes. Everyone is getting the same bachelorette garb (robes, bachelorette t-shirts, face masks, lotions, perfumes, a sweet hand written note expressing my thanks and love for them). I have hired a lifestyle photographer to take some nice portrait photos as well to leave each woman feeling a bit of glam. The only thing the the bach attendees have paid for is a flight and 1/6 of the hotel.
I told 4th person I wanted to ask her to be a bridesmaid and she left feeling completely left out because I didn’t select her in the initial group a few months ago. We weren’t super close a few months ago.
4th friend asked if I had plans to give her an honorary bridesmaids role, which I had never heard of until she brought it up. I’ve done some reading and some people think it’s super insulting and other people think it’s fine? I asked her if she would want to be knighted MOH and she basically said “I’m my own person, I’m doing this because of who I am and I don’t want to be MOH if I wasn’t the original choice.” So I’m trying to acknowledge her but don’t know what I can do to fix this. I just ordered a bridesmaid box because I wanted to at least give her the same gifts I’ve given the other 4 who will be at the bachelorette, and i told her a bridesmaid box was on its way, but she says she doesn’t want it because it seems like an afterthought. I’m trying to make it right. What can I do?