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Beginner June 2018

Bachelorette Dilemma

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purplejunebride, on March 4, 2018 at 4:28 AM

So my wedding is in just about 100 days. I have 5 bridesmaids, 1 matron or honor, and 1 maid of honor. They’ve known they are in the wedding and the wedding date since January of 2017. I’ve explicitly shared with them since I got engaged I’d like a nice bachelorette party with them where we just go away for a weekend. So around fall of last year I asked them if they’d planned anything and they hadn’t. So come January I told them AGAIN I’d really love us to just drive somewhere and spend a weekend. I through out like 10 different location ideas for them and told them I didn’t care where it was I just wanted to spend a nice weekend with them. I’ve even explicitly shared with multiple of them I’m nervous about not being able to find a rental because it’s so late and I’d love if they could get something picked. Then they talked about it but nothing happened. They haven’t made any plans for the bachelorette at all and there isn’t really that long until the wedding. I’m feeling really let down and disappointed.. I feel like at this point even if they do plan one it’ll be last minute thrown together and not thought out. I wasn’t expecting anything big and I think the biggest let down is they haven’t taken the time and energy to put something together for me. I’ve gone out of my way to ensure they know how grateful I am for them. I’ve bought them gifts, I’m paying for their nails & toes to get done for the wedding, the hair and makeup for them and I’ve hosted dinners to have them over to hangout and I just am not feeling that back from them. I’m really hurt that they haven’t cared more to do this and at this point I feel like I should just save everyone the energy and my the disappointment and tell them to forget about planning one. What would you guys do?

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26 Comments

Beginner June 2018
purplejunebride · on March 4, 2018 at 9:47 AM
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Oh my goodness you totally get me! I feel like that’s really what I have been doing is expecting from my friends what I would do for them and the fact that they haven’t has disappointed me. Thank you for your comment!
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Expert July 2018
lilam18 · on March 4, 2018 at 10:07 AM
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Right, but it may be a high expectation that your friends start planning a sleepover months in advance. Your wedding is really important to you right now, but as many on these boards will often say, no one will care about your wedding as much as you do.

if your expectations were truly low, you would leave it be. They already know you are wanting a bachelorette and have sourced some ideas from you. Let them do as they please with that information and don’t worry about it.
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Devoted June 2018
Ashton · on March 4, 2018 at 10:44 AM
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I didn't read all these comments but first of all, nobody is entitled to bachelorette party and you sure shouldn't be planning your own. It is odd to plan a party in honor of yourself, that just by itself would make me uncomfortable.

I literally have not mentioned a bachlorette party once to my friends. When they bring it up and ask my opinion, of course I give my 2 cents but I'm not worried about it. If it's an elaborate weekend getaway...GREAT, if it's a small dinner and us just hanging out...GREAT, if it's absolutely nothing at all and I have my best friends standing beside me as I marry the LOML...GREAT. Thats all I need.

Takw a step back and put things in perspective. There are much bigger things to worry about in life than a silly party. Relax and just enjoy the process. You know your friends love and care about you but often, they have a lot going in their lives. So just be patient and be thankful for whatever they do for you. Good luck!
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VIP May 2018
Ashley · on March 4, 2018 at 1:47 PM
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Honestly maybe they can’t afford to host you an extravagant weekend away. Maybe they are surprising you. My friend wanted a bach in Vegas but the girls didn’t have the funds so I’m not sure what we are doing. Honestly, it’s up to them, not you. If they can’t do it, then you don’t have one. Maybe explain you’d like an inexpensive weekend away or plan a night on the town, where you live? I couldn’t drop everything for an entire weekend of festivities for someone, which is a bummer but I’m a busy gal.
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VIP December 2018
Ashley · on March 4, 2018 at 1:52 PM
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This is one of the reasons I planned my own lol. We’re doing a joint bachelor/bachelorette and I’m putting it all together. I hope they end up putting together something really nice for you!!
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Expert July 2017
SaraBear · on March 4, 2018 at 1:54 PM
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All this unnecessary drama aside, 100 days is more than enough time for them to put together a local night out, a sleepover, or even a weekend away (if they want to). She asked you yesterday for ideas. Everything is pointing towards something happening. Just because it’s not at the same speed as you are used to doing yourself, doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about it. I’d relax and let them do their thing. If nothing happens, you can treat them for a girls night or host a sleepover yourself and just call it “girls night,” without the added pressure of them having to organize, schedule, pay, book, and plan everything. I’m aware you didn’t mean to but the whole you telling them “explicitly” what you wanted would kinda turn me off. I’m not trying to argue with you because your story has changed from the original post - just trying to say, there’s still three months left.
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