Bachelorette- how to split costs

Just because she wants all that doesn't mean she gets it. The bachelorette party should not be a financial drain on anyone. Is there a way to keep it local to keep costs down?

The bride doesn't necessarily get what the bride wants. I would check with the BM's and any other close friends you think will likely want to participate. Ask each of them privately what their budget would be for the bachelorette. Then and only then, do you start planning.

Once you can give them a cost, collect the money in advance or you will end up with the bill or be chasing people for money.

Normally the group splits the costs equally, unless someone demands special accommodation etc. You all share the costs for the bride.

I was in a wedding in which the bride told her sisters (MOH) what she wanted. The sister pretty much planned the whole thing and just told us a cost, which I had sticker shock. I wished she would of included us and asked us what our budget was. I agree with Muriel, ask for budget from everyone. You can even give something like "hey she wants to stay at the airbnb here, and its $___ a night. What does everyone think about this?" Some people might even have hook ups to certain places that can get you a discount. But yes, the group splits the cost equally and all pay for the bride as well.

Whoooo, I'd have to bow out of that party, I don't have the funds for that either. :/

The bachelorette party is something that you and the BMs plan together based on your budgets. You can get ideas from the bride but ultimately it's based on what you all can afford.

It is nice that you are trying to plan what the bride wants, but i would ask the other girls invited if they are okay with that plan and the costs involved before booking? Could hotel rooms be cheaper?

Personally, I would not be going if it costed that much. You should talk to the BM’s first and see what they can afford then go from there. Just because the bride wants something doesn’t necessarily mean she should get it. That’s a lot to ask.

I would speak to each BM privately first and find out what they would be willing to spend. Using that budget, plan the party. Don't do it the other way around.

As a bride, I would die if I found out that my wishes were causing heartache on my bridal party. Please talk to your friend. My bridal party asked me about my bachelorette party and I gave them ideas of what I would like but on the premise that it was good for everyone financially.

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Yeah, a bride doesn’t get all she wants if that does not work with your budget. I would contact the other bridal party members or guests (if she is wanting to invite girls who are not just bridal party) advising them initially what she wants to do and what you think that may cost (overestimate better than underestimate). Then ask each to respond to you with what budget they are comfortable committing to this. Take the lowest of those numbers - unless someone says they are will to contribute more than others to get it done - and multiply it by the number of girls. That is your budget. Whatever you can plan on that budget. Also remember that depending on the number of girls depends on the size of the Airbnb - but people can definitely share rooms and in some cases beds. You guys can bring in air mattresses too. Lastly, a lot of air bobs have night minimums so make sure to filter by that as well.

I agree- ask their budget first. If it's cost prohibitive for several of you, that's only going to increase the cost per person for the remainder. Maybe you can do a cheaper aribnb and then one to two activities rather than all the ones planned. With aribnb you'd still need food, water, alcohol etc.

When I was in a bridal party that planned a bachelorette, we all got together and out of the six things that the bride picked, we decided on two that would be good with our budget and one more that other people could come to later.

The BMs need to decide whether they can afford this, not you. The bride can make suggestions, but ultimately it is up to the hosts what goes on at the bachelorette.

I would hate to know I put a financial strain on my friends attending my bachelorette party. If what she hopes for is simply not feasible, then you need to have a gentle conversation with her and ask for other ideas that may suit everyone's budget better. Conversations about money are awkward, but they need to be had so no one has unreasonable expectations.

The bride sounds a bit demanding and entitled.

I'd communicate with the rest of the BM's to discuss budget. I'd give them round-about costs that you are seeing, and gauge responses. All costs should be split among all the BM's. As a bride, I would NOT expect all of my expenses to be covered.

Holy crow! I could never even imagine putting those types of financial burdens on any of my friends let alone my Bm's. Just because she wants that doesn't mean you need to provide her with that. A fun night out local is more than enough in my opinion. My BM's are planning mine and asked for my input in what I do not want to do, more than what I want. My only restrictions were I do not want a slimy stripper man. If I were you I would get together with the Bm's (either in person or group chat) see what everyone is thinking, I bet you are not the only one who is stressing over money for this.

For the couple times I've been in the bridal party and helped the MOH plan the bachelorette, it was always a team effort. We always discussed things like money up front - but then again, both times, it was with my very close group of girlfriends, so it's very possible that group dynamics matter in cases like this!). But I agree with others - I would hate it if I were the bride and knew they were spending a fortune on my bach party.

Most of the parties I have attended or planned, costs are split evenly and everyone pays for their own flight/food if you have those. Usually the group picks up the bride’s accommodation and activity costs.

I would just estimate the costs and ask the group if that is acceptable? If not, look for alternate ideas