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Beginner September 2021

Bachelorette ideas (il $

Sam, on June 29, 2020 at 10:00 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 8
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Hi ladies!


I was originally supposed to have my bachelorette party in Lake Geneva WI over Memorial Day weekend with my my wedding on 6/20/20 in a suburb of Chicago IL. Obv Covid didn’t let that happen. My new wedding date is 6/4/21.
I’m looking for some advice regarding the bachelorette party. I had invited 20 girls originally, a few of them I’m not super close but have a lot of mutual friends and pre-Covid saw each other somewhat often. When my MOH was planning the party, she got a lot of push back regarding cost and location from some of them. This made the process extra stressful for her. Some of these girls she’s never meet before.
Now that we’re replanning, I want the party to be atleast 2 months before the wedding. My mindset is I’m not rescheduling my wedding twice, if there’s another outbreak, we’re eloping. If it came down to that, it would be nice to have had those fun parties out of the way of possible.
So Lake Geneva won’t really work in March/April. I suggested something out of state to my MOH and she felt really stressed based on her experience trying to plan something an hour away. Also, with new Covid outbreaks in warmer states, that might be a good idea either now. But at the same time, I kind of hate being involved in the process now. The way some of the girls acted towards her was surprising. I don’t want to make her more stressed about it but at the same time I hate suggesting things and getting push back.
So I’m torn between just saying let’s find a safe warm place, if ppl can’t afford it, it’s not a big deal they don’t come. Or telling her I don’t want to be involved at all anymore and just asking her to figure it out without me. Also am I being a brat? Has anyone else been half assed involved in their own party? Did I invite to many ppl? Can I uninvite ppl now? Advice and feedback greatly appreciated!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Rachel, on June 30, 2020 at 10:25 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I’ve been sorta involved in my own because they just wanted to make sure they did want I wanted. Dude 20 girls is a lot for a bachelorette, man. It’s a lot of people to coordinate with and stuff - can you consider doing two? One day of your MOH and close friends and then another day of those friends you’re really not that close to? Etc? Those friends you’re not close to it could just be like dinner and drinks or something. Or have them come only for a certain portion of the festivities.


    My bff has four bridesmaids and so on her bachelorette day we were gonna do a painting class and then ten other girls were gonna join us later on for mini golf and drinks later in the evening.
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  • S
    Beginner September 2021
    Sam ·
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    Ugh I know 20 was a lot. But I felt like I would hurt people’s feelings by not inviting some of them. I also didn’t expect so many girls to say “yes we’re coming but we need to be spotted for money”. I was thinking if we went out of state, less people would come in general. I also feel like planning 2 would create new drama or new stress.
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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    I think there are a few good options here!
    1. If you still want to have one big party with everyone, have it somewhere warm in the spring. You don’t need to immediately make specific plans, but letting everyone know that a trip will be happening gives people plenty of time to save money if they want to go.
    2. Only invite a small group of those closest to you to go somewhere out of town. Like pp said, have a local bachelorette bash or dinner at another time with the entire group of 20.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    My advice, my which may not actually be advice, is that 20 people is a lot!! To be honest, no matter how mars you try, you will never get 20 people to all agree on time/place/cost, etc. it’s just too many opinions and schedules. Could you instead narrow it down to only your closest friends (even half that number would help!), and then plan either a luncheon or night out for drinks locally to celebrate with the bigger group?
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  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
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    We were going to combine his and hers. We were going to go to dinner, then a bar that offered free line dancing lessons (we like country music). Then some of my friends were going home. The rest of us then we’re taking a limo to Wrigley area and have a few more cocktails. We also talked about axe throwing.


    So what sounds fun to you? Having your girls all together and have wine, dancing, etc? Maybe a Bed and breakfast in Wisconsin or Michigan? Close enough and fairly cheap in January. Even a hotel with a big suite downtown that everyone can share. I went to one in Lake Geneva years ago and we brought air mattresses and slept all together. They brought food (brides favs) for a party before we went out. We went to dinner, bar hopped and then returned for hotel. It was fun.

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  • Sara
    Expert August 2021
    Sara ·
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    My original plan was going to the Wisconsin dells with about 10 girls but then we decided to postpone our wedding to next August. But we are doing a courthouse wedding still this year. So just my bridesmaids and myself (4 of us) are renting an Airbnb house on lake Michigan for a 3 day getaway. I would look into Airbnb places, if you have a lot of people you can maybe find something cheapish if everyone chips in.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would just plan something farther away if that's what you want. If people can't make it, they won't go and you can celebrate with them at the shower or the wedding. I wouldn't pick some crazy expensive trip, maybe somewhere with cheap flights or you can all fly together?

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  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    With that many people I’d suggest something local that didn’t involve traveling or staying in a hotel. Especially if not all of them know each other. In some circles a bachelorette is a weekend getaway and in others it’s dinner and a bar crawl in town, your group might have mixed expectations. Whatever you and MOH do, don’t offer to cover someone else’s portion unless you’re comfortable not getting that money paid back.


    Maybe your MOH can come at this from a different angle and ask the ladies (privately, 1x1) what their budget would be for a bachelorette in month X and then back into what might work based on the lowest budget.
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