Bachelorette Invite Etiquette?! Help.

First talk to everybody involved and see how much they're willing to contribute. Then you can take it from there.

I don't think its rude at all! You have to put it out there so they know. Most girls will realize that you are not going to front the bill for the hotel! But I would say the pole dancing class is 15 dollars and the hotel will run each girl around ___. Just word it nicely. I did that for my sister!

I would probably speak to the girls first. See what they feel about it. Or maybe add a separete card in the envelope as well and put Please not that the Pole Dancing class will be $15.00 and Hotel fare will be$... something like that!

My bachelorette party will be a "pay your own way" kind of deal. So we will just say "rsvp by ___________. To pay individually or part of the group , contact ________ for more details"

I would definitely speak tot hem all first (individually) you can still send out the invites, but I would let them know the cost stuff in person/on the phone/via e-mail (instead of on the invites)

Thank you all for your help! I would love to talk to the girls invited individually, but the Bride-to-Be was in a sorority...and I went to a different college so there is about 10-15 girls I don't know.

I like the idea of putting in a separate card or @PurpleSun's wording...sheesh this whole throwing a party thing is hard work!

I would list the details on a separate card when you mail the invite. I've attended several bachelorette parties where I paid my own share. The last one also had a pole dancing class. One guest opted out and just met up with us for dinner. As long as they know it's optional and they can pick and chose what parts to attend.

Then find one person you know there and coordinate with her, or ask for email addresses and send all of them an email.

If a party has multiple events, like a pole dancing class, probably dinner, stay in the hotel, etc. it becomes a logistical nightmare if you don't know the exact numbers in advance, and if you don't know who will contribute and how much. Who is covering the cost for the bride?

Mrs. S it is a logistical nightmare...Let me rant for a second. I didn't want all of this...another bridesmaid, because the bride's 4 bridesmaids were supposed to plan this together, made all these suggestions about doing a "weekend" and going out of town, etc. Guess who won't respond to emails or anything? yeah the bridesmaid with all the ideas. okay, whew rant over.

The 4 bridesmaids are supposed to split everything for the bride... It's looking like me but I am going to figure out an organized way to get people to pay me back!...I've fronted the $ for everything up to this point. okay, second rant over.

Thanks again for all the suggestions!

Oh I totally understand! Dealing with many women is not easy haha! Just making sure you don't get stuck with all the tabs, you know? Especially if they're already semi-unresponsive.

Not that this is what you asked, but if you are okay with the 5.5 x 4 flat invites and don't mind building them (which looks like you may have done with those), there's a link that will get you 30 of them free...

I have a Vistaprint problem, I know.

Oh I LOVE VP!...I was using the vistaprint.com/25 to get 10 free and paying the difference, but there's a link for 30 free?! Please send it my way!!

Www.vistaprint.com/mynewhome -- I just checked, it actually will allow you to get 4 x 8 invites free, too! So you should be able to use it for what you've already built!.

You'll have to save a copy of your design -- order 20 of one design and 10 of the copy (in your portfolio, your design should have a link that says "Save a Copy") to get 30 for free.

Same link gets you 140 free return address labels if you need those, too.

I think doing it your way is a great idea. People will base wether they can come on wether they can afford it. However to let you know when they RSVP both wether they are planning on doing the pole dancing and wether they are staying over. Cause if no one does the pole dancing you're still gonna have to pay for the teacher showing up and teaching it.

DO you have to send print invites? I planned three bachelorettes for friends this past summer, and I found it much easier to work in Evites. You get to have your cute thing and then you can write as much as you want, and clarify a bunch.

I basically said Here is what we're doing:

Drinks and lunch at the racetrack: $65

Dinner and get ready to go out: $10

Metra tickets and drinks when we go out on your own. I also split the bride's cost in with everyone and then told them not to bring gifts. DEFINITELY include the money and be up front about it. Everyone will be glad you did, including you. And if you have Chase or paypal, you can even include that info so people can pay you in advance.

I like Megan's idea!