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Brittany

Bachelorette Party - Bride Planning Bach at moh Due Date

Brittany, on January 25, 2021 at 1:47 AM Posted in Planning 1 17
Hi all! I am the maid of honor for my sisters wedding in January 2021. She pushed it back because of covid - originally April 2020. Anyway, I am pregnant and due in August 2021 and am thinking ahead to planning for the bachelorette party. She wants to have the party in Miami, so all girls will be required to budget and travel for this on top of her wedding which is also destination for half the girls. I asked my sister for preferred dates and she says she’d prefer her bachelorette to be in Aug/Sep (5-6mo before her wedding) lol so my due date month. Am I being selfish to think she’d choose a month that might work for me, the person planning it, or should I give up the reigns and have someone who can actually attend plan. I think it’s funny that of all the months she chooses the one that her niece/nephew will be born. I guess she isn’t planning to be there for that life event even though I plan to be present for hers.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Brittany, on January 25, 2021 at 5:18 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    That is selfish of her. The bachelorette is the month of the wedding typically and is a lowkey event. If she refuses to budge, you are within your rights to drop out as a maid of honor.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Is it possible she just hasn't quite remembered that you are due in August? If you just told her, she might not have the math right.

    Also, that's super early for the bachelorette party. You might want someone else to plan, just because of a newborn.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I personally would mention it to her and if she insists on it being that week to ask her to have someone who will be in attendance plan it.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Totally agree with everyone- remind her of your due date. Also tell her bachelorette parties are held closer to the wedding date. If she insists tell her that someone else will have to plan it as you can’t attend.
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    Honestly, it is kind of a lose - lose for you. Would you really travel let alone fly at 8 months pregnant to Miami during a pandemic?! And I can’t imagine you would travel after you have the baby either and leave a newborn home. I would hand the reigns over to someone who can attend. Covid definitely messed things up for most of us!
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  • Meghan
    Expert September 2021
    Meghan ·
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    I would remind her that it’s your due date. Would you be able to travel then? If not, let her know. I hope you’re able to reschedule for another time.
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  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
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    As everyone said, remind her of your due date. If she still wants to go forward with it, tell her someone else needs to plan it because you won’t be able to attend. A lot of people don’t think about that kind of thing, that women have limits when they are that pregnant (it sounds stupid, like how could someone NOT think of it, but I’ve encountered it before). On the other end, the whole thing of she’s missing your life event...a lot of people think that you might want some time alone with the baby and want to give you a few weeks to adjust. So it might not necessarily be her NOT wanting to be part of your life event, it might be in her mind that she’s giving you a bit of time. You should talk to her about it all! If you want her to be a part of the birth of your child, make it known to her!
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Remind her that it's around her due date.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Before jumping to conclusions I'd sit down and talk about your concerns with her. She might not remember your due date. With covid on top of wedding planning a brides mind can be all over the place.
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  • Brittany
    Brittany ·
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    Thanks everyone for your replies! It’s not likely that she forgot the due date as she has mentioned it in conversation a few times before haha. I would travel any other month assuming this pandemic is a little more controlled later this year. We live in SD though where the weather is pretty ideal year round and I’d be happy to throw her something here in Oct/Nov/Dec - when you’d typically throw a bachelorette party before the wedding. This would also mean one less flight for myself and half the girls to purchase for her wedding but I’ll talk to her and see what she says!
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  • Jade
    Devoted August 2021
    Jade ·
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    I recommend having a gentle and loving conversation with your sister! She is your sister after all and loves + cares about you, so I’m sure your opinion would matter to her. It also makes zero sense to have her bachelorette party that far in advance! I’m doing mine 6 weeks prior to my wedding and I would have done sooner if I could, but I have 3 chronic illnesses so I know I’ll need that time to recover which is why I didn’t lol. Anyways, have the talk with your sister and I’m positive it’ll go just fine! Sending you a ton of love and peace toward this ❤️
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I hope everything works out for you
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  • Connie
    Dedicated December 2021
    Connie ·
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    I would definitely remind her of your due date! She probably wasn't thinking when she picked that date. Also, Miami is very miserable in August because it is just so HOT! Maybe you two can talk about it and reschedule the Bachelorette party closer to the wedding somewhere nearby since you will have a newborn. I would think she would definitely want to be accomodating to you. I mean, she picked you as her MOH for a reason!
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree about the weather likely being pretty miserable in August (actually all of summer; that's why "snowbirds" go north for the summer...). I also think there might be a few months where it won't be advisable or your preference to travel long distance in the last months of your pregnancy and the first months of your baby's life.... I would definitely ask your doctor what their thoughts are on when they would prefer you not plan on traveling. If she's set on the Miami deal, I'd probably bow out. (Personally, I think it's potentially a lot for her to ask of people in terms of time and money, and in the middle of a pandemic, depending on the personal circumstances of the people involved, but that's a different issue from choosing a timeline that probably will not work for you.) Good luck!

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I am incredibly baffled to say the least. Did she forget that you’re pregnant? Does she not know when your due date? Is there something more to the story? Does she do things like this often? Did you question her on it? I have so many questions I don’t even know where to begin.
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    I agree with this completely!

    There could be some miscommunication and forgetfulness happening. I've also encountered this before about pregnancy. Your pregnancy is def. something you think about and consider everyday, but that's not necessarily the case for her. She may have just forgotten how far along you are, and the due date.

    A conversation needs to be had between you both!

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  • Brittany
    Brittany ·
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    Haha! Yes she does this often unfortunately. In her mind it’s always been her world, everyone else just lives in it and revolves around her. So it’s sweet everyone thinks it might be a mistake but she definitely didn’t overlook that it’s my due date month. I ended up telling her that I can’t plan or participate if she chooses Miami and she was glad to have me plan something in SD instead. The girls were happy to know that they wouldn’t have to spend more money on traveling as well so it was a win win for everyone!
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