Bachelorette Party Cost

That is a very reasonable price and I understand where you're coming from. I would talk to her privately, but not about her partner and her specific financial situation, more about how you can help because you want her there, know what I mean? By telling her you understand if she can't come, it would possibly come across that you'd rather she doesn't show up if she can't put in as much as others. I would personally be prepared to cover some and relieve part of the burden. Just my 2 cents good luck, hun!

I think it sounds like the costs for yours is pretty reasonable but again, if someone can't really afford it then they should be able to be given the option of opting out. so if she can't afford to stay with you guys then i think it's ok to just let her go home or at least if she can't participate in the other activities of that day i think it's ok if she opt out in certain things.

it sounds like she can participate in the activities though but maybe she can't afford the other things but i have seen a lot of bridesmaids only come for a portion of the festivities.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the feedback. This is great advice

What is reasonable for 1 person is not reasonable for another. She told you her spending limit and it's only fair that you honor it. Can she just go home at the end of the night instead of spending the night at the hotel/AirBnB with everyone else? She can just have a drink or two with dinner and still be good to drive home at the end of the night. At the end of the day, it's an optional party that she doesn't actually need to attend if she can't afford it. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive (as you know since you've been one). If she's the sole earner, the dress and accessories and additional party expenses can start to add up a lot when it's $100 here, $100 there. I would just ask her what she wants to do and stress that you're ok with whatever she decides and don't want to pressure her into spending more money than she's comfortable with spending.

You really shouldn't be involved in planning your bachelorette party, but if she can't avoid what is planned then she can either not participate or plans need to change to accommodate what she can afford. If she can't afford to stay overnight couldn't she go back home after dinner?

View Quoted Comment She could go back home if she wanted to- it would just be a 1.5 hour drive for her to get there. I guess it would be up to her wether she wanted to drive back or not.

I would speak to her privately but as a pp said , I wouldn't bring up her situation. She has been honest about what she can and can't afford. Maybe have her participate in some of the activities or what she can afford, but don't show your frustration towards her. Would you all still be staying at the same Airbnb even if she didn't stay? If so, then it wouldn't make a difference if she stayed & didn't pay for the Airbnb or if she didn't come at all. But totally up to you! Just be kind about it since she has been honest about her finances.

Honestly, I wouldn't want one of my close friends to feel left out because they can't afford to come. I'd split the Airbnb 5 ways or just cover her part without telling her. I also wouldn't want her to make an 1 1/2 drive home after a night out on her own. At the end of the day is it more important to you that she's there or that she pays for the accommodations?

If I were you, I would just pay the extra share for her if she doesn't have the money. It's great she is making the time and money to go to your bachelorette, everyone's financial situation is different. I understand the frustration but I think it will just cause issues if you say something.

Her SO employment situation is absolutely none of your business, ever. That you bring it up when you are unhappy she is not willing to spend more on you, I find beyond any words I could use on WW.
Not to mention, that it is considered rude for anyone, a birthday celebrant or bride, to get involved in the economics of a party to honor and celebrate herself. People are foolish to spend more than they can afford for a night out on the town. $50 or $100, for a simple night out, should be fine. Anyone who does not want an overnight should obviously pace her drinking to be sober enough to drive home, or arrange a ride. No need to stay over for anyone not interested. Why are you pushing for others to spend more money on you that they are willing to? Or denigrating someone else's relationship, to somehow make it sound like she has a problem , as though otherwise she would be willing to spend any more on you, in addition to clothes, wedding or shower gift, maybe she contributed to a shower? And all the time and little things. Maybe she has spent enough on you, and her winning a $10,000 lottery ticket would not make her want to spend more on your wedding. How awful this is .

Since a few of my friends have financially been effected by COVID I decided I would take the money I am saving from our big weekend and spend it back on them. I booked the AirBNB because I found one I loved when I was searching for alternative locations. I’m telling them the cost of it is about half the actual cost and they will split that. I mean, it’s anyone to honor our friendship and the support they have given me through the years. So I see it as my party gift to them.

I feel like that’s pretty reasonable of you, but if she can’t afford it then she can’t afford it. She shouldn’t feel pressure to spend money, but you also shouldn’t have to have your weekend cut short because of her. Make it clear how much the weekend costs, and if she can’t afford it, then she can either leave early or not attend 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you all for the thoughts and opinions! I am going to talk with my maid of honor and see what options we can come up with so that it hopefully works out for everyone.

View Quoted Comment With all due respect ma’am- she makes it my business on almost a daily basis by complaining about him not working and how she cannot pay for a lot because he refuses to get a job. In my opinion, yes she has a problem- and I’ve told her this when she asked for my opinion.


The entire point of my post wasn’t to degrade her or her relationship- I was seeking advice on what would be the best way to go about moving forward to make sure she can still participate and I can get a night out with my friends without the worry of having a DD or not being able to have fun while out. And furthermore- I am not pushing anyone to spend more money on me. I understand her budget is $100 and do not expect her to pay more than that. It is just rather frustrating for me seeing her go through financial struggles because her SO chooses to stay home and play video games all night instead of working. And I only know he does this because that is exactly what my friend tells me he does! So please do not try to shame me for caring about my friend and not wanting to see her struggle.