Bachelorette party dates

I know this isn’t the answer you are probably wanting to hear, but she made her date known first, so she is entitled to it. Asking her to move her date would be inappropriate (and would likely come across as selfish and entitled). She has made her date known and has already declined to move it, so you basically have two options at this point:
1. Choose another date for your event.
2. Also host your event that same weekend, knowing that she will not be able to attend and that you will also have to decline attending hers (and likely cause a lot of tension in your relationship with her).

View Quoted Comment I am not asking her to move her date. I just wish was was more willing to communicate with me what her plans are. It would have been nice for her to do that without setting a date. Her dates were never stated until she brought it up casually, I don’t even think I’m invited also. :/

View Quoted Comment I totally understand your disappointment. But not everybody operates in the same fashion. Plus, if you are not invited to her bachelorette party, she probably didn’t feel a need to run the dates by you. Also, if you are not attending her bachelorette party, I’m not sure what the issue is with you having it on the same weekend. Do the 2 of you have a lot of mutual friends that would be invited to both events?

She doesn't need to work her pre-wedding events around your schedule, unfortunately.

View Quoted Comment But then she expects me to work around her schedule. Doesn’t seem fair in my opinion…

View Quoted Comment

What is she expecting you to do? I'm confused.

She has a packed schedule, and needs to do her party on that weekend. She did speak for it first, and gave her reasoning for needing to do it then. I'm not sure what else she needs to do? It's unfortunate, but it sounds like she doesn't have a lot of flexibility.

I'm worried that meeting with her to discuss this again won't result in you getting the date you want and furthering the tension. I'd work on letting it go.

My friend and I had ours on back to back weekends, we weren't able to attend the others, there were zero hard feelings. I think you have two options here, either pick a different weekend and make it work, or keep that same weekend and let her know she'll be missed but unfortunately its what also worked best for your schedule

View Quoted Comment It doesn’t sound like she’s expecting you to work around her. She simply stated her date and said she can’t do it any other weekend. Unless she actually did then follow that up with “now you can’t have yours that same weekend,” I don’t think there was an expectation of you moving yours. She’s just simply not going to come.


Unfortunately similar circumstances happen and bridesmaids have to drop. I had five. All were originally planning to come to the Bachelorette weekend, but then my MIL decided to have an elective surgery before it and could not babysit my SIL’s one-year-old, so she had to back out (SIL’s husband was in my FH’s groomsmen group and they were doing the bachelor trip same weekend so he couldn’t watch the baby). Was it kind of a bummer that happened and caused her to pull out? Yeah, but I still had fun with the ladies that came and I can reassure you’ll still have fun with the other ladies that are at yours.