My bachelorette party is this weekend and I've got a situation where I don't know what to do - please help!
Background: I am in a career with an extremely demanding schedule so when planning the bachelorette party, there were really only 2 weekends I could do it. I have 3 BMs and none of us live in the same state. (In other words, there was no way to have a bachelorette that wasn't a "destination" for pretty much everyone.) I wanted a desert trip that wasn't Vegas, so we settled on Scottsdale. Furthermore, when I asked my bridesmaids to be in my wedding party, I told them that showing up at the wedding in a dress was all that was 100% required; their attendance at anything else was just icing. I wanted to make it clear that it wouldn't affect our friendship at all if for money or time or effort reasons they couldn't travel for wedding dress shopping, bachelorette, etc.
Fast forward to Dec/Jan: when announcing the date of my bachelorette, one BM got upset that she felt she'd been "informed" and not asked when the date would be, and the date we picked she couldn't come to. I told her I basically had only 2 weekends that worked for me, and I ended up switching the date to the other weekend so she could come. At that time, she seemed 100% heartbroken if she couldn't make it to the party. After that, I thought all was well and she was happy to come to Scottsdale. (FYI: My other bridesmaid couldn't come to either weekend because she is in the same demanding field as me. She told me so. It was no big deal.)
Fast forward to last night, the Sunday before the party: The bridesmaid I changed the party date for calls upset about the cost of the bachelorette. I knew my MOH had been having trouble getting her to respond to planning emails, so I had texted her to ask when she was getting to AZ and she called me back saying the costs were adding up to too much and she was hemorrhaging money and the flight had been too expensive, etc. She had told my MOH previously that the flights from her city were very pricey and my MOH had offered to help her search for deals, this BM refused, and went radio-silent on all emails after that, until now. My MOH has left me relatively out of the planning process and I didn't know about any of this until last night. Today this BM has emailed the MOH clearly bitter, and I'm afraid it is going to cause drama this weekend and damage our friendship.
What should I do? I'm considering calling this BM and asking her if she wants to split the cost of her flight with me, since I'm not paying for mine. I really have tried not to be a jerk of a bride and want to be fair and decent to all my BMs, but this is such a last-minute surprise and I don't know how to improve the situation. Thoughts?
Edited: for grammar
