Bachelorette Party Drama-- what is the most important thing?

Your friends are taking their time & effort & money( if they bought dresses) to be there for you. Take the cheaper option. It's about spending time with your girls before you make the commitment.

If people can’t come due to cost, that doesn’t make you a “push over”. If what you truly want is to be with ALL of your friends then you will change it to what everyone can do. Being in a wedding party is expensive, and not everyone has the same budget. It stinks that your MOH planned out everything just to have it cancelled, but it’s either have a few people be unable to come due to cost OR have everyone with you. You could even have people carpool up to the lake house to save on cost of gas!

First may I just ask what is makes the river trip more special then the lake house?

In my opinion is if the thing that you really want out of the trip is to hang out on/ in the water I vote the lake house. If it is also more important that all of your friends come then the lake house seems like the best option.

Also I would love just hanging out at a beach house and knowing that my friends did not spend whole lot of money and also can all come!

For me at least, the point is to really enjoy time with your girls. I think that the time will be most enjoyable for everyone if your girls aren't worrying about how much money they will be spending the whole weekend. Also, if they're spending that much on the place you guys are staying, they may not have a whole lot of money left over to actually buy food/drinks, or do the other things you want to do. They are also already spending a decent amount of money to be in your wedding as well for their dress, possibly a hotel room for the night of the wedding, etc. For me, the right thing to do would be to move the bach to the lake house and live it up there. That way no one has to pay so much for where you're staying and you may have some money to do more things with.

My MOH had originally planned my bach and rented a house down the jersey shore that would have been $200 per person. I told her that was way too much and found a hotel myself that would end up only being $60 per person which everyone was way happier with. I think when finances are involved, it's important to respect everyone's capabilities with money. And just because you do the lake house instead of the river doesn't mean it can't be just as fun!

I'd switch the location to the least expensive one and make it easier on the group! You'll have a GREAT time regardless since you'll all be together so why not do everyone the favor of spending less $?

I would go to the lake house and make it easier on your friends. Doesn't mean you're a pushover, it means you're not a bridezilla.

If I were in your position I'd change it to the Lake house. The MOST important thing for me is that all of my bridesmaids can attend so I worked with my MOH to figure out something that's a fair distance for all and affordable for all. I didn't want to be one of those brides that make her bridesmaids go broke over a bachelorette party.

Ultimately I think you'll have more fun if everyone can go and it'll be less stressful. When things cost more, people can decide they can no longer afford it at anytime, so you don't want to spend the next few weeks being nervous that someone else might not be able to go.

Hi Missy! Welcome to the WeddingWire Community! I think it would very mindful and considerate if you moved everything to the lake house! I believe your friends would really appreciate the fact that you chose a more affordable option, and in no way does that make you a pushover; it shows your willingness to help accommodate everyone. I hope you're able to work through this! Good luck!

Changing plans is fine, if everyone’s happier, YOU’ll have a better time regardless of where you are and what activities you do. THAT said, if you change to the cheaper option, make sure it’s clear to your FSIL that shes still not obligated to come, especially if she’s worries about money. Weekends away can get expensive fast , even if the accommodations are free. If everyone is splitting food and booze costs, she can still get slammed with costs that she can’t afford. I’d be a little nervous of her feeling compelled to join presuming you changed locations for her, when it will still be difficult for her to swing. Getting rid of that extra $125 is definitely huge though! My point is only, make sure it’s known that the location switch doesn’t suddenly obligate attendance

I would 100% change it, but I'd also have them stop asking me. For me personally, I told them to plan it and let me know; not in a rude way but I want them to all decide what works and what they can afford. And then just let me know where I want to be

I think it's wonderful that your bridal party is planning a bachelorette party for you in the first place. To show your "thanks" and appreciation, I would go with the second, cheaper option. You're right - at the end of the day this trip is about being together with friends.

I think you'll have just as much fun at the lake house. Plus, it's not the same lake house you're used to going to... you could come to find that there's a lot more to do at this one than you're used to.

Obviously only you can make this decision, but I understand the struggle! Ideally, I'd like to go to Nashville or New Orleans for my bachelorette. But I'm in Colorado, and most my bridesmaids are in California, with a one in Arizona, one in Wisconsin, and one in South Dakota. I opted for a weekend in Palm Springs so at least all the CA girls can go. Since everyone is traveling for my wedding and buying their own dresses, I feel bad making them spend even more traveling for the bachelorette party. We are going to rent a house with a pool, and have a mobile spa come to the house. So hopefully it's under $150 per girl for the 2 nights, and the girls that can afford it can opt for a facial or massage at the home! Then we can make meals too, to save money. I'd rather have everyone there than have 1-2 girls go on my dream vacation.

Choosing a cheaper option that you know all your friends can attend is not being a pushover; it is being considerate and a good friend. This wouldn't even be a question for me.

I think it’s nice that you’re willing to go with either option. Personally, I would pick the option that is cheaper. You’ll be able to have everyone there and it’ll be less financial strain on everyone. It seems like a fairly similar trip but a large increase in price for one. If I was a BM, I’d probably want the less expensive option.