Bachelorette party, is it necessary?

I agree. If you totally cancel the day you may hurt her feelings. A lot of MOHs put a ton of effort into planning parties and if you cancel the whole thing last minute it could be taken poorly. If you already said yes and she has planned the night for you maybe just tell her you want to do the dinner but aren't up for the club part because you will have had a very busy day already and want to just relax.

I'm not doing a traditional bachelorette party. I really just want to have a nice day out with my girls, thinking about having a spa day and then just dinner.

I will say as someone who was recently a MOH and in charge of planning a bachelorette party. A lot of effort goes into planning, so if it's something you really don't want to do. Please reach out to your MOH and let her know, so that no one wastes their time or money. However it sounds like the night has already been planned, so as previous posters have said, reach out to her and see if any modifications can be made to the night to better suit your needs. Open and honest communication is the way to go, but don't forget to express gratitude for her efforts!

Congratulations!

My thing is: your bachelorette party doesnt have to me the stereotypical bar night with drunkeness and things shaped like male genitals.

for my best friend and her hubby's bachelor/bachelorette parties we took a couple days. the friday about a week and a half before the wedding, the whole bridal party went paintballing together before shooting some fireworks off and heading to Whataburger late night. the next day, the girls did a scavenger hunt with the other bachelorette guests before having a girls night at an Airbnb with drinks and music and disney movies before the 'maids and bride spent the night at said airbnb.

the guys took a little roadtrip out to Austin Texas and went barhopping and the groom actually came back with a tattoo! it was a very memorable weekend all around and some of our favorite memories together.

one of my closest friends, who is actually a groomswoman, says she has mine planned out, and it's going to be fun but i dont get to know details yet

Long story short: absolutely worth it

Could you ask her to do a low key one? Maybe just everyone go out to dinner one night?

Would you be open to having a chill night? I am not super into going out to the bars anymore and getting drunk, none of that is appealing to me. So for mine, we are going to go to a nice fancy dinner then either kick my fiance out of our house for the night or the girls are going to book a hotel room where can just watch disney movies and do facemasks and have a chill night which sounds like heaven to me and not to mention a lot less money than going out to 10 bars.

However, if you truly don't want one I would just be honest and say you are exhausted and maybe they might be down to just hang out at home or skip it. I don't think you should be worried about looking boring.

My MOH insisted on giving me a party, being 33 I had no intention of even having one. So we compromised, and I just invited a few people to dinner and bingo. I think it will be a fun alternative to the traditional party.