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Just Said Yes July 2021

Bachelorette party not my idea of fun

Skognes, on April 4, 2021 at 1:42 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 14

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I'm having a very low key wedding. After covid and moving the date I'm ready for this to be all done. I am just having my sisters as my bridesmaids. Both are younger so my good friends said they wanted to throw my bachelorette party. Its honestly so kind of them to plan it when they aren't in the wedding party. They have changed the plan several times, but I've said I'm OK with all the ideas since it's so kind of them to do this for me. It finally landed on a lake cabin so we could just stay there. I am friends with the two girls planning it and we have a small group we usually do girls nights with. I said I had two other friends outside of the usual group I wanted to invite as well. Today I get the Airbnb invite. It's a rustic cabin in the woods with no running water. The living room had two beat up chairs and according to the site there are not even enough beds for our usual group, so my two other friends don't seem invited at this point. I have always made it clear I am not a rustic person and never join the summer camping trips. It's really just not my idea of fun. I am kind of shocked and a little hurt they booked something that is so far from what I would enjoy. At this point I don't even want to go. I don't know what to do. I am honestly so grateful they would plan something for me and pay so I don't want to voice my concerns. However I know I won't have a good time and am a little upset my two other friends aren't invited. Should I bring it up to them? Say nothing and suck it up? Offer alternative ideas??

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Latest activity by Skognes, on April 5, 2021 at 3:02 PM

Super March 2021
Kimberly · on April 4, 2021 at 2:09 PM
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Oh wow. Normally I am of the camp of sick it up and appreciate what your friends are doing for you, however that cabin sounds horrible. I would be miserable too so I totally get where you’re coming from.
Do you have a close enough friendship with the ones planning that you can bring up the fact that it has no running water and not enough sleeping arrangements for your two other friends you had asked to be invited?
I would certainly bring it up to them but in as nice a way as possible. More like a “hey so I noticed the cabin you’ve booked doesn’t have running water... is this true?” And “it doesn’t look like this cabin has enough beds and I really want to include Sue and Sally.” Good luck!
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on April 4, 2021 at 2:09 PM
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Stupid autocorrect... sick = suck
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Just Said Yes July 2021
Skognes · on April 4, 2021 at 2:12 PM
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Thank you! If it had running water and a few more beds I wouldn't be saying anything. I think I need to have exactly that conversation. My emotions were just a little high after seeing the invite. I might wait a few days to discuss my concerns with them.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 4, 2021 at 2:15 PM
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I agree with Kimberly. Running water is kind of big deal for me lol. Also, no running water would mean no indoor plumbing too, right? I think Kimberly's suggestion of being like "oh hey, I got the invite! I saw it said there's no running water, and I wanted to make sure I read that correctly." Or something like that.
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Devoted May 2023
Heather · on April 4, 2021 at 2:54 PM
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You said it seems like the other two friends aren't invited; do you know that for sure? I'm planning a bachelorette party with two friends and the place we booked doesn't have enough beds for everyone but the three of us are volunteering to bring sleeping bags and sleep on the floor so that everyone who wasn't involved in planning can have a bed. Maybe your friends are considering doing something like that. That said, the lack of running water and the fact that they're planning something so far from what you would like is a problem. Let them know your concerns, and remind them you definitely want those other two friends to be there. They may still have time to change the plan.
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on April 4, 2021 at 3:13 PM
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I usually am go with the flow, but no indoor plumbing would give me anxiety and be a huge no-go for me. I think you can politely ask and just say as graciously as possible that you're not sure the cabin is right for you.
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Expert September 2020
Amanda · on April 4, 2021 at 4:17 PM
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This is tough, it sounds like a really less than ideal set up. Is there anyway the deposit is still refundable? I think you should talk to them.
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Super July 2023
Eniale · on April 4, 2021 at 6:16 PM
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The bachelorette party is supposed to be for the bachelorette. It isn't an opportunity for friends to throw themselves the kind of party/vacation they want under the guise of a "bachelorette party" and drag you along.
Everyone here is FAR more kind and generous than I am. When I got married, my friends were upfront about the fact they planned to subject me to a full male stripper and penis lollipops bachelorette party. I straight-up told them absolutely not, and made it clear that I would not attend such a party. This is not my style, I don't think it's funny, I would have just been humiliated and upset the entire time.
What is the point of a party if the guest of honor is unhappy/miserable/not having a good time?
I would be honest with them and tell them that while you greatly appreciate the gesture, this is not your vibe. It's really that simple. The party is for you and therefore your enjoyment is key.
And if they lose money over it, they should suck it up like grown adults who planned a party that they knew was not your style.
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Devoted October 2021
Kk · on April 5, 2021 at 12:47 PM
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Any chance that invite was a joke and they're just trying to throw you off?
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Master January 2022
SLY · on April 5, 2021 at 1:13 PM
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While I'm also a 'suck it up and be thankful' type of person, in this situation I'd be honest with them. No running water and not enough beds for the original number of attendees is a big no no for me lol. Also, do your friends know that you aren't a big fan of those types of trips? If so, it's even more reason to politely tell them that the trip they're planning isn't right for you.
It's nice that they're planning it and throwing you one, but what good is it if the guest of honor isn't happy?
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VIP October 2022
Samantha · on April 5, 2021 at 1:23 PM
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Yeah, there’s be grateful for the thoughtful gesture and there’s no running water....
I was in the military and roughed it plenty of times with no running water and no, I will not do that for fun. Plus I’m old and sitting on a floor as well as peeing in an outhouse or worse, dear god.

Do you think it’s a joke?
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Dedicated September 2021
Conny · on April 5, 2021 at 1:47 PM
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Hmm. After reading other people’s comments I’m also curious if this could be a joke? Do you have someone you can ask to ‘snoop’ like your younger sister just to make sure it’s not really at a rustic cabin with no water or indoor plumbing! Try and get the inside scoop first . Worst case just ask and say I don’t know if I can do no running water and indoor plumbing! I don’t need to know all the details but I need atleast those two basic necessities for peace of mind! Good luck
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Master May 2020
Kari · on April 5, 2021 at 2:23 PM
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I would say this isn't appropriate (and I'm an outdoorsy person who has stayed in multiple cabins/places without running water). Not only is this setting not for you and not something you will enjoy, but also doesn't include the extra friends you said were important to you. This event is for you but it almost sounds like your friends are using your bachelorette as an excuse to plan a girls weekend that isn't really "for" you at all.

I would say something. Perhaps along the lines of "Hey I saw the AirBnB and noticed its quite small and rustic. I'm worried it will be too cramped with my other friends there and was hoping we could do [mention a few things here] and am not sure it will be the right place for that."
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Just Said Yes July 2021
Skognes · on April 5, 2021 at 3:02 PM
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Thanks to everyone for your replies! Normally I would suck it up and be thankful but I'm glad to hear I'm not a bridezilla for wanting running water. I don't think it's a joke as the email I got was from Airbnb. Unless they're so committed to the joke they booked something! It can be canceled until June 1st thankfully. I will talk to them tonight to tell them my concerns and maybe find out it was all a joke.
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Bachelorette party not my idea of fun

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