Bachelorette Party of Control

I think you need to have a conversation with her. You are her MOH and you don't think you can afford to go on this trip because it's just too much. I have a bridesmaid who can't afford my weekend away in the woods and yes I'm bummed she can't come but it was something we discussed from the beginning. Id rather her come and be in the wedding and be happy than have her try to be involved in everything and be super upset and stressed out. Talk with your bride and express your concerns. Shes your friend or you wouldn't be in the wedding right?

I agree with Patrice, you don't have to go to the club. You'll be there for the pool time, dinner, and hanging together in the room (which is where the memories are made, truly). I don't think you should feel pressured to go out on the town at night if you don't want to.

I completely know how you feel. There is nothing that pushes my buttons quit like paying for a flight, hotel, bottle service, show tickets, and brunch then getting that group text that says "Everyone needs to pay Susie $XX for the custom trucker hats that no one asked you if you wanted and you'll never wear again. Also, we are all wearing purple on Friday". Like come on? Lord knows I already paid for a manicure, bikini wax, spray tan, and bought new shoes for this now I am forced to kick in more money. Sometimes I want to slap myself for complaining about HAVING to spend money on a fun vacation with my friends. It's so silly, but it is freaking stressful.

You're not required to go a bachelorette. I would just be honest and say going to Vegas and drinking isn't your thing and makes you uncomfortable. I'm sure she'll have plenty of other girls there.

I have anxiety too, so you can decline or you could face your fears and just do it! But it doesn't really seem like a good situation. So I would say pass. Being there for the wedding is more important.

We're actually going to Vegas for my bach party, but we all live on the westcoast. I decided to get a nice hotel & I'm paying for everything. I wouldn't ask my bridesmaids to pay for all that. That's too much to ask.

You need to tell her, it can't afford it. And have the other girls cosign that its too much for them as well.

If she is truly your best friend, you need to have a conversation with her. It seems like you both have very different personalities and she should understand that blowing a lot of money drinking and partying in Vegas would not be your style. It doesn't sound like you agreed to any of these expenses so I would just bow out if I were you.

The main issue here is her planning it without consulting anyone's budget. Personally, I don't think the clubs in Vegas are sketchy and I've never had a guy "try to come on to us" if we don't seem interested, so I'd just stay in the nicer areas. You also can skip out on clubs and stay in the room. You should try to figure out what everyone is comfortable spending.

Definitely don't pay any more than you can comfortably spend. If you already have tickets and whatever, then it's totally ok to just participate in the activities you are comfortable with (pool, dinners, etc) You don't have to attend the club portion of the evenings. If you haven't paid for anything yet, then you are still fine to back out completely. You dont' need to over-explain either if you don't want to. A simple "Have a wonderful time, I won't be able to join you but i'm so excited to celebrate with you at the shower, rehearsal, wedding, whatever".

You should be honest with her. That sounds like a lot of money and I am of the opinion that if you are expecting your bridal party to attend you should be reasonable. I understand wanting to have the time of your life, but for me it is more valuable to have the people you love there. Plus, you are the MOH; talk to your friend and tell her how you feel about being kept in the dark about the planning because you were looking forward to having this special role for her big day. She should be willing to listen and be fair to everyone. Just because she's getting married that doesn't mean that everyone's finances suddenly change, or that the world revolves around her - I've never understood that bridezilla mentality. I hope this is helpful!