Bachelorette Party.. sticky situation

I think its rude to invite her just because she's the girlfriend. I don't mean you're being rude. I mean you're being put in a spot to invite her because shes the gf. If you don't know her as well, then I would say its BP only.

I get what you're saying. You shouldn't be obligated to invite her unless you're inviting other peoples SO's.

Bachelorette parties are usually just with your closest friends. So no, she's not entitled to bring her girlfriend.

I'm not sure you should be the one handling the details of the guest list but...

No, normally one would not bring an SO to a bridal shower or a bachelorette. The problem is a lot of it is phrased in a really heteronormative way. Bridal showers and bachelorette parties are for the "ladies" so a straight woman would never dream to bring her boyfriend or husband, but it seems less obvious when the SO is also a lady.

If you don't really know your sister's SO and your bachelorette is a really small group of close friends, I think you could push it.

If you are friendly with your sister's SO, I would say invite her.

I don't think your friends will be offended, given that it is your sister and her SO (who may eventually join your family) and not just a friend.

You are definitely not being offensive. I have heard of people doing co-ed bachelor/bachelorette parties where significant others were invited but I have personally never been to a bachelorette party where significant others were included. It is usually those closest to the bride coming together to celebrate her.

I will be honest, I find it odd that your sister doesn't feel that she would have a good time celebrating her sister without her girlfriend just for a night.

Sorry but if they were straight then they wouldn't be inviting their dates. This type of very small and intimate gathering is for those invited.

I just don't want anyone to feel offended. It seemed common knowledge that it would only be close friends and BP when making the calls to friends. The response my sister had threw me off.

When inviting people to a bachelorette party, their SO's are not included in that. If your sister can't come without her spouse, then perhaps that's her way of excluding herself. It would be weird if your sister brought her SO and no one else did... wouldn't seem fair. And assuming you're not close with her SO, it would probably mean a little bit of awkwardness. Especially since your sister doesn't think she can go anywhere without her. She would probably be focused on her all night, not the kind of vibe you want for a bachelorette party.

No, no dates. She can come alone or not attend.

My sister is young, only 18, so I think she is in the "we need to be together 24/7 phase" which will go away on its own.

The relationship is very new, so if in her gfs shoes, I wouldn't feel comfortable at an event like that knowing no one.

You don't bring dates to the bachelorette party.

Thanks for all the comments!

I love how fast feedback is on WW!

I see A.Magill's point that if you know your sister's gf well and she's practically part of the family, it wouldn't be weird if the gf were also invited. It'd be like inviting someone who is probably going to be your SIL someday. But you said the relationship is new, so I'm guessing the gf doesn't feel like your FSIL, yet, and you don't really have a friendship with her. That makes this weird.

I'd reiterate to your sister that the bachelorette party is just going to be really small and only sisters and your closest friends are coming. No one else will have their dates there and you think her gf will feel out of place and uncomfortable, plus, it might be weird for everyone else who is already familiar with each other.

My concern with letting everyone bring their SOs is that it then becomes a couples thing and you, the guest of honor, is the odd woman out.

Definitely iterate that the party is just for your closest friends to reminisce and celebrate everything you've been through together.