Bachelorette party with out of state bridesmaids

You should not be planning your bachelorette party; this is something your MOH/BMs plan for you. They can ask your available dates and any ideas you have, but ultimately it is up to them whether they will plan one and how.

View Quoted Comment That’s really not what I asked. I am not planning my bachelorette party.

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You specifically said: "what & when are you doing your bachelorette party?" This implies that you are part of the planning process. This is not a question a bride should be asking. If you're not planning your bachelorette party, then you wouldn't have to ask how to organize a party with OOT bridesmaids. This is something your MOH or OOT bridesmaids should be asking themselves.

View Quoted Comment Our opinions differ a little. The question asked most is “when do you want to have your bachelorette party”. I want to hear when other brides are having their party for ideas.... A couple days b4 the wedding or having bridesmaids fly in on another weekend. Once I decide my date and state, my MOH will take care of the rest. I think it’s different for every situation.

I'm out of state from my friends (I live in FL..friends, family, and my wedding are in PA) and recently have been a bridesmaid in their weddings. As an out of town bridesmaid, the bridal party fortunately planned the bridal shower and bachelorette during the same weekend so I was able to go to both. These were typically a month or two before the wedding. Another bride had a low key bachelorette the day before her wedding rehearsal and we just did painting with a twist. I'm also leaning towards this option for my own wedding since I'm unable to stay up north for a long period of time and my bridesmaids are unable to come down here.

To add: the bachelorette parties were either a night in a city exploring nightlife or going to a vineyard

I didn't have a bridal shower, but before I decided I didn't want one i was thinking of doing both bridal shower and bach party the same weekend. I have three OOT bridesmaids. One of them was able to make it to the party. We just went with the weekend that most people had available.

View Quoted Comment Great idea. All my bridesmaids but 1 live in Atl but my friends live here in TX. I think asking them to come down 1 day earlier is most easier on their wallets.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Was it the times or the cost that steered the others.

Hey there - me and my MOH live in California but my four BM's are all out of state. My MOH is in the process of planning, the only thing I decided was that I wanted to do it the same week of the wedding so my girls didn't have to travel twice. We are doing it on Wednesday and then getting married on Sunday.

I have NO idea what we are doing, I'm totally in the dark, I am just so excited to be able to spend time with my girls :-)

My MOH is planning mine, I have three out of state bridesmaids and Im not sure if they will come to the shower and bachelorette party. I don't expect them to but it would be great if they could. I was told it will be in the same weekend. A few girls live local, some live a few hours away but I really don't expect the three of them to fly in. If I was in a wedding that was out of state this year, i couldn't book an extra trip for those festivities due to financials and grad school. But maybe they can? Everyone's different. I think it's best to not have any expectations and what works for some may not work for all. It's hard to plan schedules around so many people so I think my sister and mom are picking a date and who can come, can come.

View Quoted Comment Yep. My MOH asked me where I wanted to go and when - answering those questions doesn’t mean you’re planning your own bach party. It just means whoever’s planning it wants your input so they know it’s something you’ll enjoy.

My BMs live all over NY (some as far as Syracuse, others near me) and one lives in TX. We’re doing St Patty’s weekend in Boston so there will be minimal planning on their part (events/activities already taking place all over town) and it’s somewhere they’re all excited to go, especially that weekend.

I have 2 who are plane rides away, 3 who are 4+ hours drive away, and 2 in town. They all got together and picked a long weekend to throw me a party in my hometown (Washington dc). The 2 who are plane rides away won’t make it but all the others will.

I’m having a DW and my friends are all over (including my BFF who lives in Australia) so I told my BMs we can do the bach party two days before the wedding and just do a beach day and night out or something.

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That's fine if you're just looking for ideas on when to have it. The way your original post came across was that you were trying to organize it and had a hard time doing so because of your OOT BMs. If your bridal party can come an extra day before your wedding that might be a good time do it to save time and money for everyone. It may be hard for some people to get an extra day off work, though.

All of my BMs lived in different states. None of us even lived in the state where my husband and I got married. My MOH decided to plan activities the day before the wedding when everyone would be in the same place, leaving a break for the rehearsal and RD. I didn't make any of these decisions. She planned it. I simply agreed that her plan sounded great and would be convenient for everyone. I also did not have any say in what was planned and didn't know what we were doing that day until we were pulling away from the hotel. This way, she and my BMs could plan activities with a budget they felt was appropriate. I was only consulted about the feel (I chose relaxing and not a party vibe because it was the day before the wedding and because one BM had a newborn, another was expecting, and another just chooses not to drink).

Most of FH's friends are OOT so he's doing his bachelor party the day before.

My MOHs are planning to have a beach trip in FL since that’s a central location for everyone; they are also planning it for end of July/early August because my night-shift job will be over by then, and my BMs who are teachers will not have started the new school year.

Unless a bride wants her bachelorette party to be a complete surprise, I think she gets to decide where it's held. That doesn't mean she's planning it.

That said, I'm having mine in Boston since that is where most of my friends still live. Myself and my MOH are out-of-state. Since my wedding will be here in the midwest, having it back home just made the most sense. As far as timing, I'm hoping it will be at least a few weeks out from the wedding date. Even if it's 2-3 months before, I think that's totally fine.