Bachelorette party

View Quoted Comment Sure. But she’s 20 days out and nothing is planned. If she had the shower the week before, people would have less than 2 weeks to plan, send invites, get rsvp’s back etc etc. I dont see that as feasible at all

I think it’s completely normal for a family member to host the bridal shower. My FMIL hosted her daughters bridal shower, and her MOH helped with games and events during the actual shower. The only reason my MOH is hosting mine is because she’s my sister and my parents aren’t involved.
As for the bac party, if you want one, plan one! Maybe she didn’t realize you expected her to do it, or maybe she just doesn’t have the funds. It’s a bit unusual that the bridal party wouldn’t mention it at all, but if you bring it up I’m sure that you can all figure something out.

View Quoted Comment I can for sure see where you’re coming from. It could be a pro that it’s soon because she could plan it on a day that a lot of people are free since they already have their work schedules, but I can see how it would be a scramble. I just think that if it is something that’s important to her, it is at least possible to still have an informal shower.

None of my bridesmaids or my MOH stepped up to really plan. I had a girls night while H and his guys went out for his bach party. Just went and painted pottery. None of them were offended that I spearheaded the plans bc it wasnt really celebrating me at all. Just a chance to hang out and unwind.
I'm of the opinion if you want to do something like that, then plan it!

I actually felt the same within my engagement period too, so I took charge & planned my bachelorette weekend myself. My MOH pitched in for the air bnb but mainly everything else was on my planning. Once you set the dates & invite folks, your BM’s should take suit & at least pay for you that weekend or help decorate. My point: you might have to get the ball rolling with your own bachelorette party/weekend, most BM’s & MOH’s need a head start.

Save yourself the headache and just ask your friend about it. There may be reasons she can’t do if. Maybe funds are tight, etc but either way communication without expectations or demands is key. Good luck

I’d just be like “so what are we doing for my bachelorette party?!”

The bach & shower aren't required by your MOH, it also has to do if she can afford it and has the time. My mom 100% hosted/planned/paid for my bridal shower. My bridesmaids helped plan & pay for my bachelorette, and I helped my MOH plan it too. Have any of your other bridesmaids said anything about it?

The only reason I’m alittle bummed about it is because she’s mentioned “ohh I gotta plan the bachelorette party” and then throws out ideas and I say yay or nay to them and that’s the end of the convo. If she didn’t say anything at all I’d expect not to have one but it’s been brought up by her and nothing ever happened about it. I could just use a simple night out with the girls doing something fun and relaxing.

I'm on the side of throwing yourself a bachelorette party or at least bringing it up to your MOH. I can see how it's tacky to throw yourself a party where you receive gifts such as a shower, but a bachelorette party is just a fun night out with friends, and it doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming for anyone. I'm sorry that it seems no-one has taken the initiative with that, I know how it felt when one of my friends recently had a huge engagement party and no-one offered to throw anything for us.

I personally think it's okay to throw yourself a bachelorette party. I'm lucky enough to have a wedding party who was more than excited to plan me a bachelorette party but if they didn't want to plan one I would have just planned one myself because I plan on getting married once and don't want to miss out on those traditions!

If you're following etiquette to a T, if no one offers to throw those things for you then you just skip them. Doesn't hurt though to maybe ask your MOH if she plans on doing anything for you - maybe she's planning on doing something a week before the wedding!

I feel like she should of at least asked you if you wanted one. I would be upset if my maid of honor didn’t throw me one.