Bachelorette party

I’ve mentioned this upcoming party before, it’s for my friend who wants a 5-day (!!!) bachelorette party in June. A few things about this trip have rubbed me the wrong way:


1. The MOH has not been communicating what we are responsible for. I understand lodging and food/drinks, and even the plane ticket is on us, but after that, I’m clueless on who pays for what. And to be honest, when I was MOH in the ONE bach trip I have been on, I made it affordable for everyone, because it was a destination trip and I knew people were shelling out money.
2. The bride wants 3 custom shirts bought on Etsy for us to wear, plus a bathingsuit in a color that nobody already has. So there are a bunch of clothes right there we would have to buy and can’t already pull out of our closets to save costs.
3. Only because I asked what else was included in our budgets, the MOH finally told us groceries were on us, and she then asks for a BUNCH of money to decorations that I wasn’t prepared for. And the decor has been bought already. Maybe I’m naive, again, because I’ve only done this one other time, but I paid for decorations for my sisters trip, and my sister paid for groceries as a thank you for the girls flying to Nashville for her bach trip. I was trying to be a good host, while my sister wanted to thank everyone in a way they didn’t have to shell out more money, everyone was super thankful.
4. Every week there’s a new expense, is this normal? I had a tough year with Covid, being laid off and paying for my own wedding, I’m finally picking up to where I was pre-pandemic. I agreed to this trip, but never in my right mind thought it would be north to $1200-$1300.
5. When the MOH asked me for money for decorations, I hit my breaking point. I politely said no I can’t afford it right now, this was never discussed. Nothing had been discussed money wise before this convo, beside the basics. She asked a question, and quite frankly, she didn’t like my answer. And she’s the only person of the group who knows we picked up steam in buying a house and are under contract for one. She’s one of my best friends, I asked her to cut me some slack for a little and I can help in other ways. Nobody twisted her arm in spending SO SO MUCH in decor, that would only be split 4 ways.
6. Back to the custom t-shirts. Does anyone else thinks it’s kind of rude for the bride to make us pay for not 1, but 3 t-shirts, plus a bathingsuit without considering how much we’ve spent on plane tickets, lodging, etc.? I kind of think if a trip is a VERY expensive destination trip, the bride should pitch in. The days of the bride not paying for anything I think are long gone, unless it’s a night out on the town and that’s it.
Basically, budget was never discussed and I’m annoyed.