Bachelorette

Your personal finances and debts are important and should take a priority. If you want to budget to go to both then that is great but if you can only attend one of them then just let the bride know that. I personally don't think you should hold off on paying off your finances for someone else's big day.

View Quoted Comment They are very important! But I am the maid of honor and offered to host bachelorette, and can’t back out now that I found out the price. Wedding unfortunately is a destination for me, so travel expense so expensive and adds up along with hair and make up/dress/shoes. But you gotta do what you gotta do !

You know the bride, but as one here I’d rather myBM tell me these so I could help if possible. One of my BMs isn’t coming to Bach party but I’m totally okay as my wedding is 10 hours for her to attend. Trade-offs. I will say though It’s tough to budget for lots of different costs and people’s personal situations. Some of my bridal party have picked up costs I’ve offered to pay for, others have taken me up on my offers.. So I’d love my BMs to pick up what they can, but there are some I’m picking up special for because I know circumstances or wanted to. I’m also not being picky on things like shoes, jewelry etc so you might try talking to her if you feel she’s forcing you to buy things/accessories you don’t currently have or won’t repurpose.

I'm most likely going to be part of 3 weddings (MOH for one and bridesmaid for two) next year, so I'm definitely worried considering I will have some debt after the wedding. We are also trying to save up for a house and I want to go back to school. My MOH is spending almost the same as you for my bridal shower and bach party, so of course I want to do the same for her when her time comes. But like you said, we gotta do what we gotta do!

I feel ya. I'm MOH and the bride is having her wedding in the state she lives in which isn't the state I live in. That's fine but it adds up to a lot of travel costs for me and (her other bridesmaids thatre also out of state). But she was MOH for me and she had all those travel expenses too so I think about all she did for me and so I wanna reciprocate. But it is a lot of money so I do hear ya on that.

View Quoted Comment It is so expensive and i hope ive been mindful of that with my 2 out of state bridesmaids. I gave them a color and fabric to pick their dress from on Azazie, I am paying for their hair day of, I told them not to worry about coming for the shower but my mom is flying them both in and my mom is paying for 2 nights hotel for wedding. I also told my sister the Bach must stay under $150.

I agree that being in weddings are expensive, but at the same time you can’t take the money with you when you die so you might as well splurge a little on once in a lifetime memories with those closest to you.

View Quoted Comment My bride hasn’t offered to pay, she knows of my financial situation buuut what are you gunna do haha. I don’t know how to do my hair nice so I have to pay for it professionally done, I’m already skipping out on the makeup cause it’s pricey. And shoes... well she knows what she wants us to wear already so I don’t think I can be the only one not in the same. Just gotta suck it up and be broke for a bit!

View Quoted Comment I’m glad you’ve been keeping the price in mind! We got our dresses already, not too bad at 160. I think my hair is going to cost me 80, I’m skipping on the makeup. And originally I planned a low key affordable bachelorette but the bride wasn’t having it. Vegas all the way she said! Lol there went my budget

View Quoted Comment Lol that’s true... but I’m not talking about having a giant savings fund I’m hoarding on too. I’m talking about how I’m going to be getting into even more debt to attend a friends wedding who couldn’t even fly out to my dads funeral! If I had no debt, sure I can splurge on a vacation but when I’m living paycheck to paycheck, in debt, and can’t take any personal vacations.. wedding expenses can be daunting more than fun splurge.

View Quoted Comment What you are saying makes me very sad. I would seriously reconsider my friendship with someone who thought her wedding was more important than my financial security. She sounds very entitled.

View Quoted Comment Oh I see, yeah, that’s stressful. Is there anyway you guys can lower some of the costs? There’s so many ways you can plan a great bachelorette on a cost effective budget.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately no, I planned a low key cost effective bachelorette and I got a big fat no from both bride and mother of bride, they told me it was vegas or nothing! I’ve been making it the most cost effective Vegas but a weekend getaway still adds up ha

View Quoted Comment Damn, that’s insane. I always said I would never have a destination bachelorette unless I could afford to pay for my whole party to travel, it’s just an unnecessary cost when you could have just as much fun somewhere close by ya’ know. I live in Boston, MA and me and my girls are doing a weekend in Portland, ME. We have family who own a house there and are allowing us to use it for the weekend which takes away a whole chunk of the cost.

View Quoted Comment That’s awesome! And so helpful when the the sleeping accommodations are taken care of. I couldn’t believe my bride has been adamant about a full blown bachelorette weekend (well four days actually). I’m sure it’ll be so fun I’m just stretching my wallet until then

You just reminded me that I want to offer my bridesmaids my house for my bachlorette as a place to stay if they're planning my party in town. [Mine is a surprise.]

View Quoted Comment Wow! We are doing wine weekend away but managed to keep the price low for a house on VRBO. It’s only about 3hrs away and $80/girl for the weekend. I didn’t want the added cost of expensive accommodations when they’re having to fly in!

There is no need of that. People are planning too high. You cannot help the cost of a plane ticket for the wedding itself. But a traditional bachelor or bachelorette party is one evening out in a bar, restaurant, or at a show. Or a home party. The cost should not be more than your BM dress and shoes. You offered to give a party that you could afford. If the bride does not want what is offered, and wants a mini vacation, she may decline your offer. And she can plan and host the party she wants for all her friends. Plan it, and pay every cent of the cost for all guests. But it is unbelievably rude for a bride to accept the gift of a party in her honor or, then say, this is not enough. I want this, and this, and this, and you pay for it. Rude, rude, rude. Demanding a gift of higher value than someone offers is wrong . Don't get pressured into it. Pay your debts. School and housing and insurance, cars, elimination of credit debt, are your responsibility. Important. Giving in to the whims of a spoiled and demanding bride is not necessary for a MOH. Any friend or female relative can plan a shower or a bachelorette, it is not MOH job. But if a bride wants a particular party, tell her, have what you want. You are the hostess now. You plan. You pay for yourself and everyone else, as hosts do. And you will be happy to be invited. ( Or not.). Don't be bullied. You are not in the income bracket to throw away this much money on someone else's minor parties. Though people travel often for weddings, it is not customary to travel great distances for minor parties of the wedding, the shower or bachelorette, if they are too much of a time commitment, or costly. Just keep telling yourself, if she wants to plan and host, she pays.

You can always say no to the bachelorette if you can't afford it. 3 out of my 9 bridesmaids couldn't go because they couldn't afford to fly in (that was totally fine).

These both sound super pricey, tbh. I once paid about $150 for a bachelorette party here in my town and thought that was asinine! My night out will cost everyone maybe $50 after drinks and food, and there are only 3 of us.

What all is happening at this bach party? Will there be celebrities? Is there a swag bag with diamonds included at the end?

I feel for you, girl. That's a crazy amount of money and I'd probably have a melt down.