Bad relationship with father

I am not particularly close to my father, though we don't have a bad relationship. Having him walk me down the aisle didn't feel quite right, so I chose to have both my parents do it (I did ask as I wanted to avoid assumptions). If i had just had my mom, or someone else entirely, it would have slighted my father, which I wouldn't want. If I hadn't done that, I would have walked by myself, and emphasized it being about independence. I think you should generally do what feels right to you. What is the judgement you feel you might get?

Maybe your dad is waiting for you to bring it up or for you to ask him if he also knows it's going to be an uncomfortable topic.

I'm not close with my Dad anymore so I am choosing to walk down the aisle by myself.

Totally your call! Someone else can walk you down, you can walk yourself, or walk with your fiancé(e). My DH & I walked together—comforting & sweet!

My father is not walking me down the aisle. We never had a good relationship. I am walking myself. I have been on my own since 18 and I domt far well with him "giving me away". I'm not a piece of property of his and I have always been independent. I hope this helps!

That's a tough situation, I highly recommend you don't walk with him though if it would make you uncomfortable. Don't worry about judgement. Plenty of brides either walk themselves or find another figure. I have seen uncles, grandpas, brothers, moms, etc. Whatever you want. It is your moment.

I am not close with my father, he has always been in and out of my life and I'm not asking him to walk me. I asked my mother because she was the one who worked her butt off her whole life to raise me. It's not up for debate and I don't care about what anyone else thinks. I plan to invite my father to the wedding but I doubt he would even show up. I can only imagine the stress of that if I DID ask him to walk me.

View Quoted Comment I guess the judgement I’m scared of is from people seeing that I don’t have a good relationship with because I feel (and I know I’m probably wrong) like everyone says that family means everything to them and I have just never felt that way and I don’t want people to know that and think less of me for it.

I don’t think you should have him do it if you have a bad relationship with him. Are you planning to walk by yourself? Plenty of brides do that nowadays, and I doubt it would start drama if your reasoning (that you shared with him, if he asks) is just that you want to walk by yourself

I have almost the same situation. My dad and I still talk and have probably more of a neutral relationship than anything but he was never there for emotional support, never tried to understand me, was never the loving type and I would also feel weird having him walk me down the aisle because we were never close and like one person stated I don’t want to feel like a piece of property given away either. When I was a senior in high school they also kicked me out and I had to live with my mom full time because I finally blew up at my step mom when my dad and I were arguing because she was in the background mocking me like a child. Years later I find out she was mentally unstable and needed a cocktail of meds to finally be a normal person. I’ll never forget the few years of hell I had to endure with her attitude and that my dad kicked me out for finally calling her out (aka yelling at her). Long story short I will most likely walk down the aisle myself!

View Quoted Comment Honestly, I don't think people will be thinking that if you walk by yourself or with you FH. Other people aren't really concerned about what it means about your relationship with your father. Doing something to "keep appearances" is almost never a good idea, IMO. On your wedding day you want to feel comfortable, loved, and supported.

I think the best and first step is being honest with yourself about what is going to make you most comfortable on your day. I'm in a similar situation where my dad and I aren't close, he's never been a big part of my life but it's not like he was abusive or anything. I'm walking by myself and it's caused some tension, but at the end of the day those are pictures I have to look at forever. I actually posted a similar question here a few months ago when I was struggling with this decision and I'll share the 2 best pieces of advice I got here:
1. No is a complete sentence. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone, it's enough to say "this is the decision I've made and I hope you can support me in that."
2. Think about the moments before you walk down the aisle. If having your dad walk you will in any way stress you out or make you more nervous, don't do it.
Good luck and don't let anyone make you feel like "less" because of your family dynamic and experiences!