BAM ladies: Post Wedding Survey

O&S, I thought I was way overboard with my 304 invite list.

I am impressed.

This is so awesome, all the pics are so beautiful!!

Interesting, and Snarky, your centerpieces were exquisite.

@Kristen: Yes I did Everyone loved them. They were each in a box with a ribbon and tag attached (DIY). I love to cook and there are plenty of Fridays where I have friends over for homemade pizza so it felt appropriate for us.

Type of Bar: Open Bar 9Beer, wine, champagne, & premium spirits)

Kids at wedding?: Hell no

Unplugged?: No

Seating Chart: Yes

Videographer?: Nope

Favors?: Yup

Bridal Party Sizes: 2

Ceremony Length: 15 min.

Gap Length: 25 min. (Cocktail hour)

Reception Length: 4-5 hours

How many bride dresses: 1

Plus One Philosophy: Always

STDs? ( yes? how early): Nope

# of people invited vs # of people attended: 65 invites; 64 attended

Garter/Bouquet Toss: Both

Type of Reception Exit (ex- sparklers): Snuck the hell out!

Where you registered: Nope

ETA Length of Engagement: 8 months

ETA type of dinner: Buffet

ETA first look?: Never

And just for fun, share a picture

Awesome post! This will keep me entertained for awhile! hahaha

Type of Bar: Open bar with beer, wine, & a signature drink

Kids at wedding?: Only husbands half siblings & the youngest was like 10, I think.

Unplugged?: No, but I wish I would have. Many pictures of my Dad & I walking up & my husband & I walking back have people's leaning heads & stuff :/

Seating Chart: Nope. With over 100 people & only 3 table reserved for our immediate family, everyone successfully found a seat.

Bridal Party Sizes: He had a best man (his brother) & I had a maid of honor (my sister)

Plus One Philosophy: Every adult was given

Garter/Bouquet Toss: Yes to both.

Type of Reception Exit (ex- sparklers): None, we were one of the last ones there all night

Where you registered: Yes, at Bed Bath & Beyond & Target.

ETA Length of Engagement: About 1.5 years.

ETA type of dinner: Fajitas ..our favorite food is Mexican food!!

ETA first look?: Yes & highly recommend it! I loved seeing him & that totally helped relaxed me, not to mention the extra pictures were nice.

Type of Bar: Open

Kids at wedding?: Yes, a few family members.

Unplugged?: No, random shots are sometimes the best.

Seating Chart: Yes

Videographer?: No

Favors?: No

Bridal Party Sizes: 8

Ceremony Length: 20 minutes

Gap Length: None

Reception Length: 4 hours

How many bride dresses: 1

Plus One Philosophy: Everyone

STDs? ( yes? how early): We did ours 8 months in advance due to travel arrangements.

# of people invited vs # of people attended: 130/65

Garter/Bouquet Toss: No

Type of Reception Exit (ex- sparklers): Sparklers

Where you registered: Small registry with Macy's

ETA Length of Engagement: 1-1/2 yrs

ETA type of dinner: Buffet-Beef & Fish

ETA first look?: No

No Shows: 5

Maritza, you had a big difference from invited to actually attended, Was 70 the number of guess you was hoping for?

I'll have to update this after our reception (June 20), but since we had our ceremony already, I'll answer some... this info may or may not help but I like sharing in case it does.

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-Type of Bar: canned beer and homemade sangria (we're not allowed glass)

-Kids at wedding?: no to the ceremony other than FGs and RB, but yes to the reception

-Unplugged?: no

-Seating Chart: no, but only because it's a casual BBQ kinda deal. I normally recommend them, and that is coming from my experience as a banquet supervisor.

-Videographer?: no, we only had an 8-minute ceremony

-Favors?: cookies and candy (from the typical Pittsburgh cookie table/buffet)

-Bridal Party Sizes: Just my MOH - I felt bad because everything was on her (shower planning, bachelorette party, etc.) She chose to do these things, they were not forced. I just felt bad that I did not keep the original 5 so costs could even out more.

-Ceremony Length: 8 minutes

-Gap Length: 3.5 hours - but we provided our guests with tickets to tour the garden/grounds at our ceremony venue

-Reception Length: We had immediate family and friends to dinner. There were 25 of us. Our actual reception is on June 20, and it will be 5 hours.

-How many bride dresses: 1 bridal gown and one $20 white cocktail dress for our "reception"

-Plus One Philosophy: We know very few single people. Most everyone has a SO of some form in our group. I say 1 is up to the bride and groom, unless the person is in the bridal party or coming from out of state.

-STDs? ( yes? how early): Yes, We sent them in January for our June reception. It would not have hurt us to have sent them in maybe October or something instead. A lot of people had already booked summer vacations by late January.

- # of people invited vs # of people attended: We invited 209 to the reception, and 150 have responded yes. (We only had to track down maybe 10 responses)

-Garter/Bouquet Toss: nope

-Type of Reception Exit (ex- sparklers): none -we're staying until the end

-Where you registered: Target and Kohls. Target did lose random stuff, but I love Target stuff so I just kept an eye on it and re-added the things that disappeared. It looks like if they get discontinued, etc. it just disappears even if there are still some in the store.

- Length of Engagement: 17 months... far too long! There was too much time for people to interject their opinions, etc. The only bonus is extra time to save money (which won't happen - one almost always end up spending thousands more than expected)

- Type of dinner: catered - buffet style - friend chicken, bbq pulled pork, cole slaw, corn on the cob, etc.

- First look?: Yep! I don't regret it, but we felt so rushed and didn't get to calm down. Plus the best man was there, and I don't know why. I would have liked to have something private... that was the point... but oh well! It was still lovely

The invtied/attended section is interesting. I never realized how many ppl don't show up/rsvp. I guess it's better that way as long as they tell you in advance to lower overall cost.

@Stephanie do you think the beer, wine and signature drink was enough for your guests? I will be doing the same along with champagne as my venue does not sell hard liquor. I'm hoping if I add a signature drink with a kick, they will be ok.

@Angelique- I think that's fine, i've been to many. I will say to others who have a choice though a family friend had to go on a liquor run mid-way through it was so popular.

ETA and we were expecting 200, but planned like 400 would be drinking. we've got that kinda crowd. Bartenders did have a VERY heavy pour though so i blame that mostly

@bride2015, most of the invites were to our families in New York and Minnesota... lots of the Minnesota (DH's side) did not come to the wedding. So we were hoping for the max to be around 80.

Angelique- I think that's fine. Almost every wedding I've been to had wine/beer/ signature cocktail. People love free alcohol

For the people who went unplugged, how did you announce it? Thanks for this great thread!

Type of Bar: Open - wine, beer, rail liquor. coffee/tea at 8pm

Kids at wedding?: No. No one asked.

Unplugged?: Nope. Got amazing guest shots.

Seating Chart: Tables assigned. Bridal party sat with SOs/friends. We did Sweetheart table.

Videographer?: No. Wish we had for ceremony, though.

Favors?: Airplane bottles of vodka and jack, with personal labels.

Bridal Party Sizes: 5 each side

Ceremony Length: about 20-25 minutes

Gap Length: No gap, cocktail hour

Reception Length: about 3.5 hours after cocktail hour ended.

How many bride dresses: 1

Plus One Philosophy: All couples of any length invited by name. One guest asked for a plus 1 to bring her sister which was fine. ANother started a relationship after invites and asked, she came as well.

STDs? ( yes? how early): Yes...maybe 6 months out?

# of people invited vs # of people attended: 92 invited, 84 attended.

Garter/Bouquet Toss: Yes. Meh. Should have skipped it, but it was fun.

Type of Reception Exit (ex- sparklers): None

Where you registered: Target and Macy's

ETA Length of Engagement: 8 months

ETA type of dinner: Buffet

ETA first look?: Nope. Husband didn't want to.

Type of Bar: 5 hours open, ended 1/2 hour before end of reception - was per venue rules? Top shelf. My Dad had one drink, my mother and grandmother one soda each. Oh well ...

Kids at wedding?: My father said he would not pay for anyone under 21. My Mom's family has been having adult only weddings for 45+ years. Would have been full adult rate for age 13+, 12 and under $75, only if they would accept the kids meal choice (which we knew some wouldn't). Some grumbling from in-laws, but no one offered to pay for the kids. Only one there under 21 was my honorary little sister (16.5), who was a bridesmaid.

Unplugged?: Absolutely. It's not allowed in my church, so I didn't want it at my ceremony. I've seen too many wedding paparazzi (I'm a vocalist); no one wants flashes going off in their faces, when they walk down the aisle. One uncle complained about it, but his wife still managed to take 400+ photos, over the rest of the evening. Photographers stayed in the back and didn't use flash.

Seating Chart: escort cards-tables assigned, not seats. Getting 225 into the ballroom and seated was like herding cats, even with table numbers. Venue required menu choice on escort cards, so the waitstaff didn't have to ask people their entree choice, over the music.

Videographer?: Yes, but extremely slow. Paid extra to get a trailer 6 weeks after, and it took 3 months. Would have loved to have given them a negative review, but results were great.

Favors?: photobooth, magnet photo strip holders for fridge, and personalized votive candles. The candles were a mistake - 1/4 of them leftover.

Bridal Party Sizes: 6 women, 6 men. In hinsight, would have switched one of the male choices.

Ceremony Length: With music prelude? 40 minutes. Without? 20 minutes, including processional and recessional.

Gap Length: NONE! I hate them.

Reception Length: 1 hour cocktail hour plus 4.5 hour reception. 4 hours was standard.

How many bride dresses: 1 - I loved it. Said I wanted to be buried in it, but doubt it would fit.

Plus One Philosophy: Long term relationships - the names were on the invitation. One friend asked (girlfriend of 2 years we had never met) - we added her. Another friend's Facebook status said "in a relationship," after the STDs went out; we added her, too.

STDs? ( yes? how early): Yes. 10 months out. Included website. Room block and lots of information on website, before they were mailed. One couple never RSVPd (boycotted, because their kids not invited). One couple couldn't get a babysitter, given 10 months notice. Oh well ...

# of people invited vs # of people attended: 250 invited, 225 attended. Sunday night of a 3-day, summer holiday weekend (USA).

Garter/Bouquet Toss: Nope. Have never seen a garter toss and very few bouquet tosses.

Type of Reception Exit: None. Not common, in my social circle. Venue at a hotel. Went to hotel bar, with bridal party and friends. As my sister's friend said, who bought sparklers for her daughter's wedding - "a bunch of drunks careening around the parking lot, with fire."

Where you registered: Bed, Bath, Beyond. Almost all cash/checks/gift cards, for wedding.

ETA Length of Engagement: 12 months. 8.5 years dating, at time of engagement.

ETA type of dinner: Plated. I think it's called French service? (serving carts - really quick). Soup, salad, entree (3 choices), trio of desserts. Cake and pastries in the cocktail hour room.

ETA first look?: Yes. Hubby and I went to a park, for half-hour photo session, while the rest of our bridal party got ready. Then took bridal party photos, before ceremony. We fully enjoyed socializing, during our entire cocktail hour.

@O&S!!! 430!!! Holy cow! I don't think I even know that many people haha

Type of Bar: Open/top shelf; only 4 hours maximum, per venue rules (or state law?)

Kids at wedding?: No, except for wedding party (4 who were 9-15, including groom's niece/nephew) and my honorary little brother and sister, both in high school.

Unplugged?: YES! On our website, plus my Father announced it, before the processional. Only one guest didn't comply - my FIL, who took his own video. Didn't participate in processional, didn't sit next to his wife - UGH!

Seating Chart: Escort cards/assigned tables

Videographer?: Yes. Took 9 months to get it, though. Seems to be a chronic complaint.

Favors?: Candy bar. About 1/3 left.

Bridal Party Sizes: 5 men, 5 women, FG and RB

Ceremony Length: 40 minutes of music beforehand and a 20 minute ceremony.

Gap Length: No gap.

Reception Length: 1 hour cocktail hour and 4 hour reception

How many bride dresses: 1

Plus One Philosophy: Yes. Of my work friends (all women) and only one brought her husband.

STDs?: Magnets 10 months before, with website on it. Room blocks set-up 1st.

# of people invited vs # of people attended: 125 invited, 102 said yes, 4 cancelled in the 2 weeks before, and 4 no shows.

Garter/Bouquet Toss: No! Last time I saw a bouquet toss, no one wanted to participate.

Type of Reception Exit (ex- sparklers): None.

Where you registered: Bed, Bath & Beyond and Honeyfund (not linked to credit card -no fees).

Length of Engagement: 11 months.

Type of dinner: Plated, 4 course.

ETA first look?: Yes. Loved it. All photos beforehand. Certainly the way to go!