I used to be atheist and was recently saved. My fiancé and his family are very devout Baptists. Growing up, I had always been to weddings with plated dinners, alcohol (sometimes open-bar, sometimes just beer and wine, sometimes paid, etc.), and dancing with music. Meanwhile, every wedding he has ever been to did hors d'oeuvres, defiantly no alcohol, and no dancing or even music. Personally, I would compare it more to a graduation party style.
This has started a 'debate' between us on what we expect to see at our wedding. Growing up, I had always picture a first dance together and being with all my family (immediate, cousins, aunts, uncles) seeing them enjoy themselves on the dance floor, and relaxing and enjoying the night (even if that took alcohol).
While I know I will not drink at my wedding, my family does enjoy alcohol and it is what lets them put their guard down to dance and enjoy the night. The problem my fiancé has with this is that he sees it as endorsing the consumption of alcohol. My parents have offered to pay for the alcohol tab and even offered if we wanted to do two receptions (one alcohol (aka my family), and one non-alcohol (his family)) that they would pay entirely for one. I've even said we could do a bar where they pay themselves, but to him, it is the idea we allow it at the party to begin with.
To me, the no alcohol also affects the dancing aspect. Even I did a "day-time" wedding instead of night time, I feel like I'd still miss the little things like a first dance or dancing with my step-father. I'm not much for tradition (I want to skip the flower toss and cutting the cake is neither here-no-there to me), but there are some that I've always wanted to keep.
While I know the wedding should be about him and I, I want my guests and family to enjoy themselves and be as happy as we are. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to blend my old, "secular" wedding ideas with his religious ones? Are the traditions something I should just get over? Any advice would help 
