Bar Etiquette Help!

Just stick with beer and wine all night. I wouldn't offer anything that's available for purchase. I would also just skip the specialty cocktails. If they're only available for an hour, some people may not get one or may be disappointed if they can't get a second after the cocktail hour, etc. People are less likely to feel like they're missing something if it wasn't a choice initially l vs if it was an option that was then taken away.

Lots of things may be “nice to have “ but not polite to do so. As a proper hostess, you do not ask your guests to open their wallets at any time. Some people don’t touch beer/wine but they will drink liquor. I myself am one of those. As a guest, I would be taking full advantage of your non alcoholic beverages. Depending on the selection I may drink Coke all night. It’s always better to not have something as an option to begin with than to ask guests to pay for their food and drink.



Specialty drinks are trendy as a non beer/wine option but they need to be available the entire time the bar is open or not at all.

So we actually did your second option—we had only beer and wine for a very specific reason, but during cocktail hour they brought out mint juleps when the Kentucky Derby started. People thought it was a fun touch and it was clear it was a specific cocktail for a specific moment.


I think you’re totally fine to do beer/wine all night or add a signature cocktail during cocktail hour, especially with the proper signing.

I think it depends...I've had my share of weddings and now that I'm planning one, I think I know what's "supposed" to happen lol but many people may not know or be exposed to the wedding world. They may not know what to expect when they show up or even know that the bride and groom are the hosts. I personally prefer a cocktail over beer; so if I were a guest I'd be happy with a cash bar option. I've attended two cash bar weddings and didn't have an issue. I'd rather have the option to purchase something that I know I like to drink. The flip side, if many of your guests prefer cocktails over beer/wine and you DO have the cash bar option, then they may not even touch the beer and just buy drinks...which will be a total waste.


I do agree with Hannah's point about folks maybe being disappointed when they can't get a second. So maybe take another look at your guest list and try to map out if you have more beer/wine folks or more cocktail drinkers. If it's a mix, I'd say add the cash bar option.
One more note, when I attend weddings I'm honored because I was invited to witness the union of two souls. I'm there to celebrate the couple, not there to worry about the food or the drinks. Grateful for the invite...yes, happy to be there...yup, grateful for a meal...heck yes, drinks not included...who cares! Do what you can afford or whatever will make you smile at the end of the day...don't worry about all the rules. I hope you can have a clear mind to decide soon!

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That sounds really fun!!

Definitely being a host requires guests not to subsidize the cost of your event with a cash bar. The reception is for the guests, not the wedding couple.

Thank you for your thoughtful responses, everyone! I really appreciate the help!

I’d stick with beer and wine all night. Keep it simple!