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Beginner April 2018

Bar Hopping verses a wedding reception

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Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias, on March 23, 2018 at 1:47 AM

Hi. My fiancee and I are getting married on April 13, 2018. It's on a Friday afternoon. We have decided to spend 80% of our budget on a beach house, for our wedding party, family & friends. It's not a large wedding & it sleeps up to 20 people (2-story..7 br, 4 ba, 2 sets of washer & dryers on each floor, 2 kitchens, 3 balconies, & it's 70 ft from the beach. Therefore, no one can be late bc all they have to O is walk outside where the ceremony will be already set up & ready. My fiancee & I rented a condo 4mins (walking distance on beach from each other). We have a cake being made down there, & will do toasting and cake cutting.

So, instead of having a formal reception & spending that money it was brought to my attention that many couples bar hop for their reception instead bc it's all so close 2gether. I have been to weddings where they preformed the money dance & was a lot of fun.

So, my question is, if we visit several bars along the beach (I want to wear my wedding dress longer than the short ceremony, so will go as is), has anyone heard of that. Not to be greedy for money bc we have stuck to a budget & have reserved for other activities, bc we have these 2 properties from Thursday thru Sunday. I'm sure we are going to have to do sum research exactly which ones bc there are so many, & just talk 2 the manager/DJ or who ever would approve it. We're not planning on dancing our legs off for hours, but to spend a little time here & there. Would live to have some feedback, other ideas, or maybe even a heck yeah... let me know how it goes.. lol. Looking forward to hearing from anyone's thoughts. Thanks in advance! 🤗

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53 Comments

Super August 2019
Bianca · on March 23, 2018 at 9:14 AM
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Only you know the crowd you’re inviting, so this unconventional wedding celebration might be the way to go. I don’t know if I missed it, but how many guests are you expecting?

My two cents as a guest would be that I wouldn’t like this personally.
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Champion May 2016
OG Kathryn · on March 23, 2018 at 9:15 AM
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You need to find a space to rent and provide a meal for your guests.
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Master July 2018
BoudreauToBe · on March 23, 2018 at 9:17 AM
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I think the only way this is acceptable is if you take everyone out to dinner first and then continue on. They are traveling so you need to feed them. Anyone who wishes to continue drinking can go out with you.
And no, you should absolutely not do a money dance at a BAR. Or anywhere else for that matter.
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Super August 2018
Summer · on March 23, 2018 at 9:20 AM
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If I were you, I'd get food catered to the beach house and at least have a dinner "reception" and then invite whoever wants to come out bar-hopping - shouldn't push your budget that much and anyone who isn't into bar hopping can still hang out with you and be entertained afterward - it sounds like with your current plan you wouldn't be providing dinner and people would end up buying bar food and all their own drinks? It's nice that you've paid for lodging already, so it's really up to you but keep in mind some people may not love the plan.
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Master September 2018
FutureMrs.L · on March 23, 2018 at 9:24 AM
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I'm curious why you'd spend 80% of your budget on lodging for guests, then want to do a money dance to recoup those costs. It's nice that you provided the lodging, but it honestly wasn't necessary to spend nearly your entire budget on it. We've looked into renting an airbnb, to get ready in, and for FH's brother to stay at as he's coming for out of the country, but we're not paying for all our guests' lodging. We'd rather provide them a nice meal, alcohol and dancing. They're adults and fully capable of booking their own lodging if they want to attend.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on March 23, 2018 at 9:34 AM
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Based on the time of day you need to provide a real sit down meal.

Also, are any older (honestly like 35+) adults coming? I mean I'm in my 20s and I'd still rather not spend a night bar hopping. This is going to get wildly expensive. An open bar is going to be cheaper than buying drinks for your guests in a bunch of different bars.

If the money dance dance isn't part of your culture, move on. It's not for you and it's super tacky.

Also, if you are on a strict budget it may make more sense to find an all inclusive for 6-8 hrs instead of a long weekend and bar hopping
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Devoted July 2018
Janice · on March 23, 2018 at 9:45 AM
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Everyone, this wedding is in like 3 WEEKS. April 2018.
OP this was very poor planning but you may be able to save this. No money dances. Call around to restaurants in the area and ask about drop off catering. Servers would be nice but that may be out of budget.
Buy a ton of beer and wine. Store it at the beach house.
Have catering delivered and set up while you have your ceremony. Your “planner” can oversee this - if you still have one (it sounds like they’ve done a very poor job). You can also ask them to include some apps for cocktail hour.
Everyone can have a catered meal and beer and wine hosted by you, as it needs to be.
Then you can make a decision if you want to go to a bar after for an “after party.” I’m assuming you’re not buying people’s drinks at the bar if 80% of your budget was spent on a beach house.
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Expert July 2018
Melissa · on March 23, 2018 at 9:47 AM
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I have heard of bar hoping after a reception, but as the reception. It is an interesting concept, but that might get expensive for guest. You said your wedding wasn't large; will all your guest be at the beach house so that if you aren't providing more then cake that they can at least prepare a meal before the wedding?
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Beginner April 2018
Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias · on March 23, 2018 at 9:58 AM
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Very good point. Yes I reserved & paid for 4 days 3 nights, $3200. That is our gift to them for attending. It's a very small group, family & a couple close friends. The money dance is part of my culture, and been preformed at many of my families weddings. After reading some replies I think I should do the "scoping it out the day/night before." Lol
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Beginner April 2018
Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias · on March 23, 2018 at 10:04 AM
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Yes.. as our gift to the few family members & close friends we paid for 4 days, 3 nights at the beach house, $3200. My fiancee & I have a condo 4 mins walking distance, so a couple buildings down. We are a tight knit family/friends & have a tradition where everyone gets 2gether on Sunday's. There are 2 kitchens & a large grill on this property. We all talked about a reception, & everyone wanted to just stay the weekend and cook together as we normally do at home. But, it's a 3 & 1/2hr drive & everyone was like "why go for the day, it's the beach girl." Lol
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Dedicated October 2018
Katie · on March 23, 2018 at 10:11 AM
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Will you be paying for food and drinks for your guests? Or expecting them to pay?
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Beginner April 2018
Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias · on March 23, 2018 at 10:16 AM
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Thanks for your POSITIVE feedback, I appreciate it, honestly. 🤗 It's a small crowd, prob 15-20 ppl, mostly family/fee close friends. After 10 Mo's of planning, my family wanted to stay the weekend at the beach verses coming back home to have a "shin dig," which was what they said we could do there & enjoy the family atmosphere at the beach. We are a tight knit group & get together ever Sunday for dinner. We usually grill & have a couple adult beverages. It actually was there idea, & the more I thought about it, it would cost just as much if not less to use that big grill at the beach house. What's ur thoughts?🤗
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Beginner April 2018
Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias · on March 23, 2018 at 10:22 AM
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O, heavens no. I should have reworded my original post. I guess that was some important details to leave out. We gave been planning for 10mo's however. It was the guests idea after suggested by the wedding planner. All of the family has outgoing personalites & request to stay longer bc who all are attending would b who all would attend a reception, & we don't live near the beach, so that's y we decided to pay for the extended stay & enjoy "family" time in the sand & salt water.
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Dedicated June 2019
Christina · on March 23, 2018 at 10:24 AM
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I think bar hopping is fun if it’s what all your guest are into! And to include some of the more traditional aspects I suggest having an hour or two “reception” for cake and o'dourves. You can pop a bottle of champagne and have music playing for a playlist you created where you can still have your first dance as well. I understand wanting max use out of your wedding dress but I wouldn’t recommend wearing it to bars as it will more than likely be torn and dirty by the end of the night. Maybe find a bargain white cocktail dress and wear that out!
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Beginner April 2018
Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias · on March 23, 2018 at 10:30 AM
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Our wedding officiant is going to use humor. We want a fun, non-traditional ceremony filled with lots of "funnies" & for it to be a Fun time, something to remember &talk about for yrs 2 come. We were engaged 11yrs ago,but it wasn't the right timing. But, the good Lord put us back 2gether during the worst part of my life & unknown to me it was also his. Our tradigy's of lost one's brought us back together, so we are living our fairy tale. He wanted a wedding that suited my personality. I am 38 and he is 42. We have waited SO long for this day, & would like for it to be an event that is talked about for many family reunions. By no means will it be another episode of "girls gone wild," but a good story to tell as we were both raised in South Georgia with dirt roads, bomb fires, & dirt bogging. We are just a fun group of people.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on March 23, 2018 at 10:30 AM
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To answer what seems to be the question in the post— NO it would not be okay to do the money dance in the middle of a random bar on your bar crawl. Absolutely 100% would look super tacky, both from your guests’ perspective (presumably they’re paying for their own drinks all night?) and from everyone else in the bar’s perspective
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on March 23, 2018 at 10:37 AM
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For the record I think the ‘cake and punch’ style reception you described is fine , esp since it ends by 6 so non meal time.
AND it’s fine to invite people to join you at a bar later [after everyone’s had time to have a proper dinner]... (I would encourage going somewhere with snacks and maybe buying a couple of rounds of apps and pitchers but to each their own).
It’s the money dance in a bar that I am opposed to.
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Beginner April 2018
Bride To Be Mrs.Vafias · on March 23, 2018 at 10:41 AM
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Very good point. I think I will take your advice & inquire on a cator for finger foods & provide some wine for immediately after ceremony, bc I had requested the photographer to stay longer for pics at dusk. And yes,I wasn't thinking about the dress issue. I will also look into another dress for the "bar hop" idea. For I never would take my guest for a night on the town, for I wouldn't enjoy that myself. There are a lot if small timing bars and Family oriented bar/grills walking distance and other than that......that would be the extent of that part. I wish I could attach a pic of my wedding dress....penny for your thoughts...lol. I just don't see where I could attach it to or at rather. It's not a ball gown type dress, &think it may give u a different visual of my wedding theme.
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Dedicated June 2019
Christina · on March 23, 2018 at 10:49 AM
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If you have a dress that is more beachy and casual you may be fine! I just automatically think of big puffy dresses and don’t see that working out well in a bar! The most important aspect is just to make sure you’re comfortable especially since you may be walking a little bit. I think your wedding sounds beautiful and y’all are going to have such a fun time as well!
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on March 23, 2018 at 10:52 AM
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How are you going to make arrangements to pick up the tab at each place while you are bar hopping?
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