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Super October 2021

Bar or no Bar

Kevin, on December 12, 2019 at 1:08 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 10

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My fiancé keep going back and forth on having a bar or not. We originally were going to not have one and have a champagne toast only. His family has some alcohol problems and we didn’t want to have any at all. Plus even without the cost of the alcohol our venue charges you for a bartender and a security person which is an extra 2k yikes! We met with our coordinator the other day and he mentioned having a bar. We both keep going back and forth and can’t make up our minds. Neither of us drink and neither of our families drink. Bars are also really expensive and a cash bar is not an option for our venue it’s either full bar or no bar and champagne toast. Any thoughts to help settle this?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on December 12, 2019 at 5:42 PM

Legend July 2019
MrsD · on December 12, 2019 at 1:11 PM
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If you can afford it, I'd do a bar. My husband had a few people on his side with drinking problems and how we viewed it was, not our problem. We didn't think the rest of our guests should suffer on their behalf. However, in our friend/family group there is alcohol at all gatherings and it's common so not having it would have been an issue. It's a "know your crowd" sort of decision.
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Dedicated October 2020
Amber · on December 12, 2019 at 1:16 PM
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If you're sure 70% or more of your guests don't drink, then you probably don't need a bar. But, if only about 40% doesn't drink, then a bar would be a good idea. It does depend on what day of the week your wedding is too. I went to a Sunday wedding with no alcohol and it didn't have any dancing. I just think alcohol helps everyone let loose and have the courage to dance, but if most don't drink anyway, it doesn't really matter.
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Super August 2020
Anna · on December 12, 2019 at 1:38 PM
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I agree with everything MrsD said.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on December 12, 2019 at 1:40 PM
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I agree with this. $2K for the bar “stuff” not including alcohol is ridiculous. Maybe you can get away without it?

Are you having an evening wedding with dancing? If so, alcohol will help. If brunch, no dancing, or a weekday night you may be able to skip if really needed.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on December 12, 2019 at 1:46 PM
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So none of your guests drink? If that’s the case then you might want a sparkling cider toast instead (and not waste champagne) . But if you’re having a champagne toast, then it sounds like you have guests who do drink.
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Dedicated January 2022
Kaitlin · on December 12, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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Sounds like no bar may be fitting for you guys. If you guys don't drink and much of your family doesn't either, it may end up being a waste of $$
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 12, 2019 at 1:59 PM
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I am against the popular opinion where you do not need to provide libations. I have been to a dry wedding (not even a champagne toast) because the groom is a recovering alcoholic. It is not a favorite but I feel that people are there to see you be wed not get tipsy. I mean if you can afford it then go for it but I feel that if you are going back and forth (due to some people having alcohol problems and budget) then it is not worth a discussion. I will ask you if you really care what people say about your reception? If they want to judge your wedding based on the fact you did not have liquor then let them. It is your money so do what you want to do with it.
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Devoted March 2019
Katie · on December 12, 2019 at 2:10 PM
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Like many of the comments before me, I think this is your big day and budget, so if you and FH do not want a bar, then don't do it!

Do you guys know why you are going "back and forth" with this decision? Maybe because "everyone has a bar at the wedding" or when you go out with friends alcohol is the norm/expected? I do think some consideration for the type of crowd your expecting or reception you want to have could sway this decision, but if you know it's not right for you then don't do it. Make sure you and your FH are ready to get out on the dance floor during the reception to show some more shy friends that you don't need a drink to dance the night away
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Super February 2020
Andrea · on December 12, 2019 at 2:25 PM
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I agree with this!
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VIP November 2019
Laura · on December 12, 2019 at 5:42 PM
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If you won’t drink and the majority of your guests won’t drink...why would you have a bar? I say skip and have a sparkling grape juice toast. We had a dry wedding, not even a toast. And people still had plenty of fun, and no one complained.
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