Bar question

An open bar is totally fine. We had an open bar. But what is frowned upon is making guests pay for their own drinks. You need to have whatever drinks you can afford without asking guests to pay for their own.

You have no obligation to provide alcohol at all. I have seen debates over whether it's acceptable for a reception to have no alcohol at all. (I think it is fine.) There do seem to be a lot of people who believe receptions must serve alcohol, but I don't think etiquette requires this, or requires that it be open bar. Etiquette requires things that your guests would have a bad experience without - places to sit, an appropriate amount of food for the time of day, water and other beverages. A lot of people want alcohol, but they don't need it. It's like a live DJ - can make the party more fun, and a lot of people expect it, but you don't have to provide one.

From what I've seen, a cash bar is one of the standard options for receptions, and you'd be fine offering one. Or you could give everyone 2 drink tickets for after the cocktail hour. Your choice whether it's cash bar or no bar after those 2 tickets. Or you could just close the bar after the cocktail hour, or one hour into the reception, etc.

View Quoted Comment I wish we could afford the 5 hour open bar but we have 185 wedding guests :/ We can however afford the one hour cocktail hour open bar and we can also afford to pay for non alcoholic beverages during the rest of the reception with guests paying for alcohol. I wish we could afford more! I just hope people arnt upset…

View Quoted Comment While, I don't agree with cash bars I think you at least need to let guests no in advance it's going to be a cash bar so they are be prepared to pay.

A dry wedding is fine (no alcohol) and an open bar with beer and wine is fine. So is a fully open bar. The etiquette is that you shouldn't make your guests pay for anything at your event, because that's not good hosting. Common advice around here is that you need to limit the guest list to a number that you can afford to host well.

I would avoid drink tickets etc, because that just gives the impression of a school carnival or something.

Could you be able to do just beer and wine for the whole night vs an hour of open bar? Beer and wine might be cheaper than doing the open bar.

I would either do an open beer & wine bar for the entire event or just have a dry wedding. Offering your guests free drinks and then switching and making them pay can be confusing and annoying for guests. It also goes against all etiquette to make your guests pay for anything.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with Meghan

Where I'm from (Wisconsin) it's much more acceptable to at least have alcohol than have it be a dry wedding. I wouldn't care if I had to pay for it. In fact, probably half the weddings in the last 5 years that I've been to have been a cash bar.

As a guest I would rather drinks be limited than require anyone to pay for anything or create different experiences for guests based on their ability to pay.


I’ve been to wine only weddings, weddings where the bar closed after cocktail hour then a glass or two of wine or champagne was served to the tables. or there was just a butlered glass of wine or two during cocktails and another one or two with the toast or dinner.
A wedding is a private function, not a bar, restaurant, or charity event with drink tickets bought and paid for. People are only entitled to what you serve.
As far as numbers, my philosophy is to determine the guest list and budget first and then plan the type of affair you can afford around that.