Being considerate to the dates/spouses of the wedding party?

View Quoted Comment Girl yes, steal away! I have never seen anybody have their wedding party walk with their SO’s, and my fiancé raised his eyebrow at it at first LOL But then once he thought about it for a minute, he agreed that it was a great idea. Plus, all members of our wedding party are either married or have been dating their significant others for several years and are talking about marriage, so it made sense to honor them too.

I absolutely love the ideas you're incorporating into your wedding!! Having them walk down the aisle with their significant others is the most unique idea I've heard for a ceremony - very cool!! Those are all very thoughtful of you. My fiance and I are inviting significant others of wedding party to our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and are seating everyone at the head table (COVID permitting...), but I hadn't found anything to do for significant others for while wedding party is getting ready, so still trying to figure that out.

I just had this discussion with my FMIL. I was wondering what to get the groomsmen for gifts. I seen on Pinterest a little mini bar where they put a variety of alcohol shooters, small cans of soda & some gift cards to a good restaurant. Leave a personal note on it thanking them “since you & your spouse/sig other made our day so special, here’s something as a thank you so you 2 can have a special night of your own!” We’re not having a head table. There will be a sweetheart table, a table for the parents & siblings (who aren’t part of the wedding party), a table for the wedding party & their partners (everyone knows each other). Just a rough draft for now.

View Quoted Comment Thank you :-) I have never seen a wedding party walk with their significant others before, but I would sure love to start a trend! LOL I’m in the same boat as you with trying to figure out something to offer them to do while everyone is getting ready. Although, we don’t plan on having a long “getting ready” time period. Hair, make up, and pre-ceremony pictures will be 2- 2.5 hours total. So that may not be that big of a deal. Especially for the female SO’s... since they will need to get dressed and do hair/make up also. I don’t know about you, but I prefer to get ready without my SO hovering over my shoulder, trying to talk to me, or trying to steal my mirror time 😂

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I think part of my anger was that my husband and I got married 6 weeks prior to their wedding and we made sure no one was stuck with no one to hang out with or place to go. I was under the impression I would get to spend time with my husband's sister since she wasn't in the wedding or my mother-in-law after she got her hair done. However, both of them were busy. By the time my mother-in-law was free I had already left the hotel and drove 30 minutes to the closest mall. I also wasn't expecting my brother-in-law and all of his groomsmen to use our hotel room to get ready. The bride and groom were so disorganized so they didn't have any plans on where anyone was getting ready or a bunch of other things hence why they used our room and why my husband's sister was busy helping with last minute things. I would've been more than happy to help, but it was like everyone forgot I existed. I had bought my laptop in the event I didn't have anyone to hang out with, but since I couldn't hang out in my hotel room I couldn't really just play games on my computer. My suggestion if they don't have anyone to hang out with maybe offer fun suggestions of things they could do. I know my sister's husband hung out with my grandfather the morning of the wedding since he was the only male relative that wasn't other busy. They went to lunch together and the train museum near by.

I appreciate this post so much!

Last year, my now husband was a GM in his friend's wedding, so I was left alone for pretty much the entire time. I was invited to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner, which was awesome and much appreciated, but the morning of he had to go get ready with the other gents and then left early to go to the church, so I got ready by myself and had to uber to the church alone. Then he went off to take pictures between the ceremony and reception, and again, I was left alone and had no idea what to do with 2 hours in formal wear in the winter. I later found out that one of BM's husband, who was not in the wedding at all, was allowed to follow the bridal party around so he could be with his wife. Needless to say, I felt gipped.

Fast forward to our minimony, last year's groom is now a GM in my husband's party. I made it a POINT to make sure that this girl was always included in meals, plans, we even got some pictures of her with her dressed up husband, and she sat at the head table with us.

End rant lol

Next year at our big wedding I am thinking all bridal party members and their plus ones (whether they're friends or SOS) will be seated together at the same table, because I don't want anyone to ever feel left out or like they don't have a place to be at our wedding.

View Quoted Comment That was so nice of you to make sure she was taken care of during your wedding, even though she hadn’t extended you the same courtesy. Tbh, i’m sure this happens at the majority of weddings. And not because people are trying to be inconsiderate of others, but because they just don’t think about it for some reason. I’m hoping this post will bring some awareness to this issue, and hopefully save others from having the type of experience you had.

I was in a wedding and my fiancé sat at the head table with me which he absolutely hated, but said he would have hated sitting alone more lol. We decided to do a sweetheart table for this reason, because all of our friends are in relationships we wanted them to be able to sit with each other 🙂

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for the input. It definitely makes me very conscientious of being organized the day of the wedding

View Quoted Comment Haha I was actually in the exact same situation as your husband. I had recently started dating a guy that lived out of town, but who I had known for several years. I had also known his parents and siblings for many years, so I was super excited to attend his sister’s wedding with him. He was just an usher, so I didn’t think much of it. However, they had him sit at the head table, where every person I knew at the wedding was also sitting. So I was left sitting awkwardly with strangers. But then, his sister came over to the table and said they left an open seat next to him for me at the head table. (I must add the monstrously huge head table was not only facing the entire room, it was also on a riser- so we were sitting in front of and above everyone else on display). I was the only person not in the wedding party sitting at the head table. It was so awkward. I think it was a flip of the coin which seating arrangement was worse. 😆 Needless to say, we will not be having a head table

This is a really good discussion point! We had our bridal party sit with their SOs during the reception. They were separated during the day and ceremony, but we purposefully picked to get married at a resort for a variety of reasons, one of which being that there was tons to do for non bridal party guests during the day. I heard no complaints about anyone getting an extra pool/lake/rocking climbing day in Orlando in May!

I've never been the date of someone in a bridal party, but my now-husband accompanied me to a few when I was a bridesmaid and we were dating and I know he was super bored during the day, since neither of the weddings were in interesting places with anything to do.

Also, at one wedding, we were sat together but the DJ released the bridal party to go to the buffet first, then tables. A fellow bridesmaid and I felt SUPER awkward eating while our SOs just sat there, so we collected our food and then let it sit and get cold until our SOs were "allowed" to get their food a few minutes later. That was terrible!

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh, that was actually pretty rude to have the wedding party eat prior to everyone else! I’ve seen this done at one wedding before, but it was because there was a head table where the entire wedding party was seated together. But to have the wedding party seated with their SOs at random tables, and still send them to get food first was such poor etiquette. We will be having a plated meal, so everyone will be served at the same time.

My entire bridal party rented a cabin together. While my bridesmaids and bridesman were getting ready and taking photo, their SO's hung out together at the house playing games and having some drinks. So they were never left alone.

We did a sweetheart table for this reason. Our bridal party was seated with friends and family during the reception. They did have to amuse themselves the day of though, but a few knew each other and hung out together I believe. Also, most of them were local so they just came to the wedding from home doing whatever. My SIL's wife (fiance at the time) didn't know many people because they live out of state, so she actually hung out with us in the bridal suite. All significant others were invited to the rehearsal dinner.

View Quoted Comment This sounds awesome! We are having a destination wedding and the ceremony and reception will be held at the same hotel everyone is staying at, so maybe this will be a possibility while we are getting ready

View Quoted Comment So I had thought of having the wives/girlfriends of the groomsmen hang out in the room with us while we were getting ready, but i’m unsure on the etiquette with doing that. Did you have a hair and make up artist? And if so, did you allow the people hanging out to utilize them? I have hired a make up artist and hairstylist for myself, my mother, and my MOH, and I am paying for everyone’s services. It seems rude to invite other women to come hang out while we have hair and make up done, and not offer the services to them as well. But, it is completely unfeasible in my situation due to the tight schedule.

View Quoted Comment We went to the salon to get our hair and makeup done, and we were there pretty early in the morning, so I'm assuming my SIL's wife just slept in and hung out at the hotel for a few hours. Then we went back to the hotel after we were done before going to the venue. She then came with my SIL to the venue and hung out with us in the bridal suite.

View Quoted Comment Ahhh. Yeah, that situation totally works. I don’t think it’s going to work for my situation. But, our entire getting ready time in the room plus pre-ceremony pictures is only 2.5 hours, so hopefully the SOs are OK with just hanging out and getting ready in their hotel rooms during that time.

None of our bridal party members are married, but we have invited their significant others to all the wedding festivities and will have them escorted down the aisle (which will be perfect since we have a uneven bridal party! There aren't seating assignments so they can sit with each other as well.

Luckily, this really isn’t an issue for us. Their significant others will all know other people there, so they’ll be fine.

It’ll be an issue for me next year, though, when my fiancé is in a wedding where I won’t really know any other guests.