Being fired from close friend/family members wedding

So I had been best friends with R for the past 5 or so years; she's my brother in laws girlfriend. My husband and I are high school sweethearts and got married young so we couldn't afford a big wedding, so we just had an intimate little wedding with family. Even though we didn't have a big thing, we still had a bridal party and groomsmen. She was of course my maid of honor because she was my best friend. Fast forward three years and I'm helping my brother in law plan the engagement to make sure all of the photos are set up and video will be taken (also making sure she dressed up and looked nice because I know she would've been salty if she hadn't). Any hoot, once they were engaged I knew I wouldn't be the maid of honor because she has a twin sister and I was totally fine with that. However my husband and I are super private people and i have a bit of anxiety when it comes to big events. So as soon as they were engaged we asked them if it would be okay if we left the ceremony walking together. They said that it would be no problem and that it didn't matter anyways because we were leaving. Welp, that didn't last long, a week later I got a text saying that they no longer wanted to do that because traditionally the maid of honor walks with the best man. (Which keep in mind she has two maid of honors and he would only be walking with one so she clearly didn't care too much about tradition). I asked my husband if he was okay with that and he said no, so I sent a huge paragraph about how we just really aren't comfortable doing so that's why we talked to them before we agreed to anything. She replied with wow and that was it, I just got radio silence after that. Then my brother in law stopped talking to us both and then they both were just being rude all of the time. I finally got a text saying that if we weren't going to do it then we wont be in the wedding. I replied saying we weren't trying to be rude and we dont want to cause a huge fight and ruin relationships over this. So we talked again and decided that we would just walk it the way they wanted us to. Everything was going fine and then my brother in law comes in and asks to talk to us. He asked my husband if he was still going to be the best man and he said yes. Then he tells me that I'm no longer a bridesmaid and that I will just be walking our son down the aisle (our son wont even be one by the wedding). I was baffled and hurt, it turns out that as soon as we said we didn't feel comfortable with it that she went and asked someone else but she didn't say anything because she wanted my husband to be the best man (the second option would take them to a strip club and she doesnt want that obvi.) So now I dont know how to feel, I'm still being involved and helping with everything because I was so excited for them. But I'm still hurt and cant really talk to anyone about it.