I am the MOH for my best friend of many years’ wedding. I’ve been breaking my back for months now, even taking time off work, to help her with planning and all the other things that go into a wedding. To be clear, I do not want to or plan to end this friendship over this, I just don’t really know what to do
For context: I am a makeup artist, I wear makeup everyday, and I am good at it. In my opinion (and as my friend had told me) I am significantly more attractive with makeup on, and in all honestly I lack confidence without it. I also have a scar on my face that I hide with makeup, and am very insecure about. I bring this up because in the past, my friend has made MANY comments about my appearances and my makeup to men I’ve been interested in. She says things like “you should see her without makeup” when a guy expresses interest in me, or talks about how “it can be wiped away” if a man calls me pretty/beautiful. In the past, she has apologized for these comments saying she was just jealous I got more male attention than her, but the comments have continued, even recently during her engagement. Personally I don’t think it’s true I get more male attention, given that she is getting married and I’m single, but people have made comments to her in the past calling her “the ugly friend” (I disagree) so I partly understand this insecurity.
This morning, I woke up to a text from her thanking me for all my help these past months, and saying she had an important request for me: that I don’t wear any makeup to her wedding. She says if I wear makeup I will “overshadow” (her words) her at her own wedding and it would be unfair because she wants to feel like the most beautiful person in the room as the bride. I told her that was ridiculous, it’s a wedding, everyone will be wearing makeup and I won’t look good or properly dressed up in the photos if I don’t. I also offered to do more natural makeup and make sure hers was more bright/noticeable than mine (I’m doing her makeup free of charge). She turned this down and said I absolutely cannot wear makeup, it’s her wedding, a real friend would want her to have the perfect day, etc. She accused me of wanting to take the attention from her on her special day, etc. She absolutely refuses to compromise, despite not being able to answer why I specifically can’t wear makeup but everyone else can...
I don’t think this is fair. She knows I’m not as confident without makeup on and won’t like how I look in the pictures. She knows I have an (albeit minor) scar I’m not comfortable showing. She knows I’ll look out of place among everyone else who will definitely be made up.... But we’ve been discussing it all day and she won’t budge. would it be wrong if I just don’t go?
