Best honeymoon registry website?

View Quoted Comment You inspired me. Turns out modern day etiquette schools, along with a handful of other companies (majority of which were honeyfunds, so thats important) say that it is perfectly fine to have a honeymoon registry/fund. Registries were initially set up to help the couple out in their first year of living together, but now modern couples are living together beforehand, which makes it relatively unnecessary. They also approved of donation registries- but not to a controversial organization or political party.

Their main point was- What makes asking for a $90 blender any less rude than having a honeymoon fund where you ask for a dinner for two, or a snorkeling trip? Times have changed.

View Quoted Comment Times have changed, manners have not.
The problem is, couples act like gifting is part of the wedding process, much like picking out a wedding dress or choosing bridesmaids. It's not, gifts are not a part of the wedding. It's 100% based on the generosity of your guests. Therefore, you don't the authority to dictate what those gifts are. To do so would be crass and rude.

Even in gifting situations like Christmas for example. Do you send a vacation fund website link along with your Amazon wish list? No? Because every gift is graciously accepted, and telling anyone how prefer to receive your gift is greedy.

View Quoted Comment Except a regular registry with specific place settings and $300 mixers is not greedy? I'm not arguing with you, but let's not pretend these lines of argument are perfectly aligned or clear. I can afford an Instant Pot. It's still on my registry. I felt uncomfortable making a small registry, but a registry is what people expect, especially because in my family giving money is considered rude and impersonal.

And what we consider to be good manners or proper etiquette do actually change. Quite often, in fact.

We don't do registries for Christmas or birthdays or graduations. At least most don't because they are not *currently* socially acceptable. Though I have noticed a lot of my friends on social media posting donation requests for their birthdays. Weddings and babies are currently the most socially acceptable uses for a registry type thing, and people don't call it greedy - only because we have decided it's acceptable. As a guest, I have liked the honeyfunds. I can (reality or not) feel like I am giving the couple something more meaningful or useful than a pizza stone or something.

All that aside, OP if you have a crowd that would give monetary gifts if you don't register, I would forego the online fund so you keep 100% of the money and then write thoughtful thank you notes detailing what you used or will use the gift for. If your crowd is "gift givers" the honeyfund might be an option, but I have no advice for a choice since I haven't researched that.

View Quoted Comment Gift registries are quietly tolerated but in principle they are still dictating what sort of gift is acceptable for the couple. Which in itself is rude.

It's slippery slope when we lose our ability to be a polite and thoughtful society. If we decide it's socially acceptable to have honeyfund and various money grabs, what's next? There will always be someone somewhere that will push it to the next level and try to convince everyone it's the new social norm. We already hear of couples billing their guests for reception no-shows or inadequate gifts. The fact of the matter Is, gifts should never be expected. They should be a welcomed surprise from a guests.

The core of etiquette doesn't change.

Ok just to be clear to everyone else I'm not endorsing asking people to pay for your honeymoon. But with that being said, if it's something you're intent on doing and you don't want to simply not register and hope people get the hint, you could go through a travel agent to do the same thing.

My travel agent offered the service which we are declining. But she can give her contact information to include in bridal shower information or on your website. People can send the money directly to her to apply to various aspects of your honeymoon. Which technically doesn't have to be used for what they say but.... whatever. The main point is there's no fee and no waiting to receive your funds which I've heard those sites tend to hold until after a honeymoon if you're doing it right away.

View Quoted Comment "Where will it end?" The answer is always "somewhere".
I'm not doing a Honeyfund. It's not done in my circle, but if going to a wedding where they had one I would donate to it. If a friend asked, I would point her away from it for the fact that they seem expensive and to tell your parents and bridal party that you are saving for a honeymoon and would be especially appreciative of gifts that contributed to that.
I'm just not horrified by asking for one gift over another. Yes, I've definitely asked my parents for specific birthday gifts. I keep an Amazon wish list so that if anyone is stumped on ideas they can look at that. I'm also appreciative of any gift and don't ever think they're necessary.
I think it's ok to have an opinion on this subject but an internet conversation has never ended with one party apologizing and saying you've changed their mind.
Let's not do this every time someone mentions doing a honeyfund.

View Quoted Comment I wouldnt do a lingerie theme because some people could be uncomfortable with that. I wouldn’t want to give a friend or family member lingerie. 😅

Also, I think there’s been enough response about the honeymoon fund, but I do think you need to consider that the fees those sites charge your guests is enough to make it unacceptable. If you truly don’t need anything then I’d suggest not registering and many people should get the hint and give cash. If you get any physical gifts that you don’t want, return them.

View Quoted Comment Umm. Yes. Unless they can find a birthday gift that I’d actually need or want, my friends and family know that I’d prefer an experience or the money instead of something they found at the last minute.

Ya know the funny thing about this is when gift registerys first came out they were looked at as rude but guess what its normal now! In this day & age honeyfunds are becoming more normal & popular... personal what we did is just a small registry of the little things we need updated after living together so long & for the people that feel like they have to bring a physical gift. The rest i think will get the hint. Im sure my answer is going to be frowned upon by most but idc. Also with this being said i personally would rather give the couples an experience vs something that may get used a few times a year if that.i would also rather have the travel agents contact info so i knlw thwy are getting the full amount vs just a portion

View Quoted Comment

Amen! Thank you for doing a little research on behalf of everyone here. However as I can see, and as is the case with everything else in life, people will blindly turn away from your facts because their opinions are their truth. All gift registries are tacky. So everyone should get over themselves and do what feels right for them and stop putting their hang ups on everyone else. Honeyfund 2018, lol

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!!!
I'm not going to beat a dead horse but will try to offer a different perspective.
Every culture is different, even regionally in the US people abide by different ideas of manners. Ever been to a Vietnamese wedding...seen those red envelopes that are given to the guests...maybe an Arab wedding..similar thing? Not everyone thinks gifting cash is a bad thing. Some people actually expect it as a guest. The entire point of gifting is to help the newly wed couple start their life together. A new Vitamix from Aunt Sally isn't going to help start a life together anymore than $500 cash would. But $500 can start a college fund for the bride wanting to return to school or help towards a nicer or longer honeymoon than originally planned. So I take that back $500 is way better.

Point is; not everything that you disagree with or haven't experienced personally is wrong or in this case rude and tacky. Not everyone wants tons of bullshit for their home...that they have to return...because uncle Raymond didn't "have time to look at the registry" and bought you a cheese board.

OP do whatever it is that you want. Just be thoughtful in your approach and your guests will respond in kind. I would however forego the online registries to avoid the costs.

View Quoted Comment #honeyfund2018 lol. I'm wit it!!

Macy's created the gift registry in the 1920s, so obviously etiquette changes with the times. Historically, gifting cash was the norm before Macy's bid to profit off helping a newly married couple, so the pendulum swinging back the other way is natural.