This might be a long, convoluted story. Dig in.
My fiance's best man will be his best friend from elementary school till now. I don't like him nor do I care for his long time partner. We will call this pair Mark and Mary or as I like to call them, the Gruesome Twosome. My fiance obviously has had relationships before me-but it is the relationship before me that caused the issues. My fiance dated this girl for 3 years and they double-dated a lot. Now I don't know Mark and Mary were that crazy about the ex, but it was convenient and a sort of tradition they established-note Mark and Mary live out of state, but it's basically a four hour drive from they live to where my fiance and I live.
My fiance's breakup with his ex threw a wrench in all this cosiness. I think when he started dating me, Mark and Mary weren't crazy about having to start from scratch again. They expected that I would want to do the double dating thing with them and be close. I don't. I am not a social person and am very private. I have my own circle of friends and I am not one to glom onto people and I don't like them glomming onto me.
When I met the Gruesome Twosom the first time, they called me by the ex's name 3x-my fiance took them aside and politely told them to knock it off. Now I will admit, while the ex and I do not have common names, they can sound similar. They immediately tried to become familiar-too close right away, calling me by the nickname my fiance and family call me after being corrected by my fiance about calling me the ex's name. I told them that I was not comfortable with that and only my fiance and family call me that name.
Now also keep in mind, before they met me, my fiance announced our relationship on facebook and we also went instagram official. My social media is locked up tight. I was bombarded by facebook and instagram requests from the Gruesome Twosome, which I turned down. They brought this up when I first met them and I told them my social circle is small, I like it that way and only my closest family and friends are on my social media.
Mark and Mary did not like this, although they put on an accepting face for my fiance. After this not so great initial meeting, they made more attempts to try and double date. I told my fiance Mark and Mary were not my type of people and I felt they were trying to force a relationship. Whenever they visited, I either had friends over, my family or I was working.
My fiance and I have more money than Mark and Mary and they were used to tagging along when my fiance and his ex would go on vacation. Last year, before the pandemic, my fiance and I took our first ski trip, a trip the Gruesome Twosome always tagged along on and they assumed that would be the case. I told my fiance I didn't want them going and he told them, it was going to be a private trip. They were not happy. For three years, they relied on my fiance taking them along to places they would never see otherwise, in their words, taking much needed vacations. That stopped with me.
But back to present. Because Mark is best man, Mary assumed she would be a bridesmaid and even basically hinted that. I told her no, that was not the case. I also strongly suggested that she would not be a part of any prewedding events. I find her two-faced and extremely nosey about me. She admitted to googling me before she met me. I also know that she and Mark and tried to follow my family on social media, but that was unsuccessful.
Mark has told my fiance even though he is best man, he feels his relationship with him has changed since I came along. My fiance says he doesn't feel the relationship has changed.
For me, I do not see that I have to be friends with these people. I don't expect my fiance to be friends with my friends. Polite, yes. I feel intruded upon by these people and am setting boundaries.
So, has anyone ever had this issue and what did you do?
