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Best mans girlfriend

Emily, on April 28, 2019 at 6:29 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

Ok, so our friends are getting married. The groom has been best friends with my BF for years but the bride/groom and I have been friends also for about 3 years.They asked my boyfriend to be best man but haven’t made me part of the wedding party (which I didn’t expect them too).


The thing that sucks is that I won’t know anyone at the wedding and it’s in a different country which means I’ll be flying on my own and having to make my own way there (I don’t drive). They told me this information really bluntly and then started talking about all the stuff the wedding party would be doing whilst I was the only one there who was not included. I have social anxiety which makes me so awkward in situations that are out of my comfort zone. We are a close group of friends and we hang out all the time and they have made our other friend the groomsman, so I am the only one not included.


It just hurt as I thought we were closer than that. I just need to know if I’m over reacting. I don’t want to say anything to them about it as the day is about them, it’s just really upset me.

4 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs., on May 2, 2019 at 3:19 AM
  • C
    Devoted June 2019
    C R ·
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    I would have your BF ask them to arrange an introduction for you to meet some of the other folks who will be there (either once you get there, or beforehand locally if that's possible), so you have someone to pal around with while he's off doing wedding party stuff.

    With all there is to think about in wedding planning (esp destination weddings), I'm sure this didn't even occur to them....I wouldn't take it personally. And between now and then, maybe start practicing getting out of your comfort zone.....if you haven't been forced to do it a lot, I bet it seems overwhelming, but honestly, you may just need to step out there and do it once or twice and you'll see that it can actually be fun - think of it as an adventure!!
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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    Do you speak the language there? Can you sign up for a group tour through the hotel for a day or so? Most group tours, the tour guide does all the talking, and you just listen. Look at it as opportunity.

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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    Can you fly in with your BF? If my fiancé was in a wedding out of town or country and not me we would still fly in together. If it was a whole new country I would have him
    ask if I can go to venue same time he did. Then just sit out of the way and play on my phone. I would just sit were ceromony would be.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I agree. That way you’ll still get time with your sweetie and get to stay with him in the hotel. But heck, while he was doing groomsman duties, I’d be out enjoying coffee by myself, a museum, maybe a group tour if a country that felt a bit unsafe, a spa day at the hotel or a nearby one. Any of those ideas sound good?
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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    Why are you unable to travel with your boyfriend? Unless they're paying for your boyfriends travel accommodations, they shouldn't have any say in whether you can travel with him or not. And even so, I feel like they shouldn't be able to stop you from booking the same accommodations.

    I don't think you're overreacting. Like you said, you get nervous in situations that you are uncomfortable to you. Happens to me as well. But they may not know the extent to your social anxiety, and may think you're fine with it all. I would chat with your boyfriend to plan things out that you're mostly comfortable with!

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