Best man's wife being difficult

I had something similar with my sisters fiancé. He’s just very insecure and jealous and hated seeing her walk with someone else. He fought with her during cocktail hour and she was on edge all night.

It’s time to do some soul searching. What’s more important? Having a slightly strange bridal party entrance that you won’t even see, but for a few photos or having an angry bridal party member being fought with all evening. If you think the fighting will cause them to leave early ask your FH if he’d be okay with that.

I know it stinks that she’s being such a wad. Unfortunately she’s not a one off guest that you’ll never see again since she’s your FBIL’s wife so you really may need to compromise in this instance.

View Quoted Comment Thank you girl! It’s so not a big deal at all, she is insane!

View Quoted Comment To be honest the fact that I will have to see her again won’t make me change my mind lol I will not compromise, best case scenario is she doesn’t come at all!

View Quoted Comment I pick tell her to over herself! Lol thanks for the advice

View Quoted Comment I don’t think I need to compromise my wedding due to her insecurity so best option for me is to tell her to stay home

View Quoted Comment Exactly...agreed.

I know usually they bridesmaids/groomsmen link arms when they walk. Is she okay with them walking together but not linking arms and standing several feet apart.

Send her links to other people's wedding videos lol its very much a tradition. She married an american, and this is a small tradition that shouldn't even be a big deal for her to accept. idk she's being really insecure. I'm sorry you're dealing with this :/

I personally would not give in to her. She sounds like a real piece of work and if you give in on this you'll be giving in on a lot more later on. Stand up for what you want, it's your day, not hers. I second the tire slashing idea!

Just have the groomsmen walk in behind or up with side with your FI and have the girls each walk alone. This is how I see processionals at most weddings anyway. If it makes FI's BM more comfortable, i dont' know why it's such a big deal.

For the record, the BM's wife is ridiculous - but this isn't a hill I would die on in all the wedding planning.

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Thanks girl; tbh i dont even to talk to her about this because i can already see her being rude and nasty and giving me an attitude for bringing it up
it would be an issue linking arms or not... the fact that the MOH is pregnant and engaged to someone else wont help this woman's insecurity either

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Thank you, i feel the same way
haha this sounds like the most logical plan...

The solution I would do is not have her at the wedding at all. It is YOUR day and she isn't anyone special to change the way you want things. If she has insecurities, she can talk to him about it. That isn't your problem. I wouldn't invite her especially knowing she's caused a scene before.

I have two bridesmen instead of bridesmaids and they'll be walking down next to the groomsmen so she's 100% being ridiculous. However, you have to consider that she could actively ruin your reception over being so irrationally angry over her husband being in the same vicinity of another (happily taken) woman. I know your FH wants him as the best man and he wants to be the best man, but you need to tell him that if his wife is going to actively try to bring down your wedding then he either needs to find a way to get her to stop, or not be in the party. Those are really your only two options if you're not open to changing the bridal party entrance. Your feelings on it do also matter, but the only way to do this is compromise on the entrance or remove him from the party.

Excellent question. My FH is having a friend he's had since 6th grad as 1 of his groomsmen who is married. He's going to be paired up with my cousin. He's going to walk with her & sit according to plan where we want him. His wife will be close by but won't be walking or sitting with him. Her options are 1) sit with & socialize with others or 2) don't come. This is just 1 day out of their lives that they won't be right next to each other the whole time. One day isn't too much to ask. Stick with your guns & don't give in!!!

It sounds like you truly do not care about her feelings or making her comfortable so i am confused at the advice you are seeking? I personally think it’s inappropriate and strange that people still pair and portray their wedding party as partners or prom dates. At my wedding, i had the bridesmaids walk in solo, and the groomsman walked in solo even to the reception, because i did not want any spouses to feel uncomfortable, because i do care about them. And the outcome was beautiful. The typical tradition for weddings is for the wedding party to be single, that’s why they get paired together because it isn’t a big deal. I will say the fact that she’s willing to cause a scene is embarrassing on her end, and she should really learn to control her emotions. But i can’t disagree that this a tradition that should die out because it does in fact make some people uncomfortable. A man should not be forced to escort another woman who isn’t his wife. Waking next to someone, weird, but not as bad. But as far as being paired together to do certain things, locking arms, and prom like photos - really unfair and inconsiderate to spouses who are not in the wedding party. I know you don’t care, but I’d fully expect tension between you and her for awhile.

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The pairing up could possibly be okay where none of the bridal party is married. But it is odd to pair up a married person with someone other than their mate.

View Quoted Comment I SO agree. And it’s also strange that the bride is so adamant about them walking together like that is such a huge part of the wedding day… which makes it even MORE uncomfortable for the BM’s wife. When you ask someone to be in your wedding party you are asking for them to stand by you on your big day. They are not your slaves and should not be forced to do something that could affect their marriage in anyway. I’m also realizing that this post is from 2019. But it just irritated me seeing the inconsideration towards the marriage of someone who has put in a lot of time, and probably money, to be a part of a wedding that he will never care about as much as his own. Its placing him in a terrible position because his wife is more important than this wedding but he obviously does not want to disappoint the newly weds. Just an awful way to handle and speak about the situation.