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Mcellist
Super March 2019

Big Wedding vs. Small Wedding

Mcellist, on January 10, 2018 at 10:27 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 11

Originally I wanted to do an elopement with just myself & fh... and then my mom got upset because she had always imagined me surrounded by family. (And I had too, I just never thought I'd be able to afford and actual wedding.) As I've done the research, the price tag is not something that either of us really want to put that much money towards. I've been making a pros & cons lists (hurting other's feelings, not getting the same feeling as a bigger wedding). I see on here all the time about brides who ditched the big wedding (our idea of big is 80 people!) and bringing it down to just 20, or less. Anybody out there that can give advice as to how to make the decision?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Shannon, on January 11, 2018 at 10:44 AM
  • Megan
    Expert June 2018
    Megan ·
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    Go with your gut. And your pocketbook. If you can comfortably afford 80 people, and it is what you want to do, then do it. If you can’t, or don’t want to, there is no requirement to do so.
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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    Don't have a big wedding to make someone else happy. If you want small and can only afford small . . Go with small. You could consider having just parents and siblings there if you still want some family rather than a full elopement. It could have a more intimate feel and you'd get to spend more time with each person there than if you had a larger crowd.


    If you and your FS do want a bigger wedding, price everything out to make sure you can afford it before committing to anything. This might mean pushing back the date. Make sure you're both on the same page and are comfortable with spending that amount of money. Ultimately you just have to choose what works best for you, and there is nothing wrong with either option as long as you and your FS are happy and you can afford it to host it properly.

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  • Summer987
    Super May 2018
    Summer987 ·
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    Don't have a big wedding to make others happy. Have the wedding you and your fiancé can afford if that means 50 people or less that's what you do. You're not going to be able to invite evjust invite those you truly want their to celebrate with you.
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    Do what is going to make you happy and what you can afford. Small, intimate weddings with your closest loved ones are great. You can focus on them and your FH. It’s less money and less stress.
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  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
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    We did a smaller wedding (55 guests) where 35 were family and the remaining were our close friends. It’s was great being able to celebrate and enjoy the time with the people who were dearest to us. Had a few friends get married within a year of all, all with big weddings (150+). I can definitely say each couple was way more stressed with planning then we were.
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  • Emily
    Expert May 2018
    Emily ·
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    I second this. its your day, and about what you can afford. dont do anything you dont want to do or you will end up with regrets. you want to look back on this day and love it.

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  • Lauren
    Expert June 2019
    Lauren ·
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    Maybe do a ceremony with your closest family and a few friends and then a casual BBQ or get together after for everyone to celebrate your marriage
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  • Charli
    Expert May 2018
    Charli ·
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    We were planning a big wedding (250 people) because FH was insistent on it even though I wanted to elope. We booked most of our vendors but I was constantly stressed with planning and we were constantly arguing with each other. I put together a budget to show him how much we would probably end up spending by the time it was all said and done and he decided the money, my stress, and the arguments weren't worth it so we cancelled that wedding and now we're doing something intimate with parents, grandparents, siblings, and the people that were going to be in our wedding party (38 people including us). We lost some money from the deposits for the original wedding but we both agree that it was worth it because we're both so much happier. My mom is throwing us a party in my hometown for my family and friends back there to celebrate with us and we're going to do a bbq here for our friends. We'll still be able to celebrate with everyone in some way which is what was most important to FH. Don't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do or the whole process will be miserable.

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  • Future Mrs B
    Super July 2017
    Future Mrs B ·
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    We are so glad we went with a smaller wedding. We had the people we loved there and to use that's all that mattered.
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  • FutureMrsS
    Expert October 2018
    FutureMrsS ·
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    Just go with how you imagine yourself on your wedding day! It is different for everyone! I imagine all of my immediate family being with me and then our close friends and that's what makes me happy and that's what I'm willing to spend Smiley heart We are having maybe 75-100 people, but the number doesn't really matter to me as long as the people I want there are there to watch me and FH start our life together.


    I also pictured FH and I eloping on the top of a mountain or something, but I know I would miss our families! But that is just me Smiley smile

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  • Shannon
    Expert October 2017
    Shannon ·
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    We had a vet small wedding with just 4 guests and it was perfect for us.
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