Blending Families/ Marrying Someone with Children

My son is 12 years old and LOVES my FH dearly. It's so awesome to watch their relationship grow. My FH actually has two stepkids from his first marriage (he married their mom when they were 2 & 4). The daughter came over to the house for dinner last night and they both still call him Dad. He is the most perfect stepdad I could have ever imagined. He loves them all just like they were his own flesh and blood.

Welcome! I am glad to hear that you are thinking about this all. Too often, the future "step" assumes that the transition will be easy. I think that you need your FH's support and if you sit down together with his daughter to discuss the rules as well as what is expected (from her, from you and from her dad) you will be off to a good start. I think the biggest thing is communication.

This is more from a "step kid" point of view. I was a step parent in my first marriage but the mother didn't allow my ex to see their son so I wasn't involved with him. With my upcoming marriage, my FH will technically be a step father but my daughters are 20 and 22 so its not your typical step parent situation (but my 22 year old loves my FH. My 20 year old is autistic and doesn't really have opinions on people. They are just "there" in her life)

We are blending families and we could not love each other more. We are all very excited

I have a 7 year old daughter whose father passed before she was born so she never had a daddy figure. FH is so thrilled to be her daddy! FH has 4 boys 21, 18, 15, 10. The two older are out on their own and pop in for visits and the two younger come and stay with us for the weekends Friday night and FH takes them to school Monday morning. We truly look forward to the weekends as we always have a blast together! I always love to share our pics so here ya go!

@*Rigby* I love this picture. Such a nice looking happy family.

It's been 7 months since DH and I blended our family. I have 2 daughters (7 and 5) from a previous marriage. He treats them as his own and we co-parent through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The girls have a made a place for him, and they understand his role in their life. He loves them and they know that. Earlier this week my 7 year old said she had questions about her homework and started to tell me about it in the car on the way home from school. Then she stopped and said you know what, this is about music class, I'm just going to wait to talk to "S" when we get home.

(DH is a music teacher)

Apparently the assignment was to identify and spell the names of several string instruments.

I can't imagine being in DH's shoes though. He was 43 when we got married, lived on his own for 20 years, never had kids. It would not be easy for me if I were in his shoes, but he swears he wouldn't change a thing. I can't imagine though while we're yelling at the girls for the 1000 time to put something away or to brush their teeth that he doesn't long for the peace and quiet of his apartment.

When my parents were married, my mom already had my older brothers. Their dad was never really in the picture and my dad was their father figure. To me, there was no difference between me and my brothers for my dad. My dad and one brother were co-best men at my other brother's wedding.

There are 10 years between my brothers and I so I do remember vaguely their teen years and I think my parents would say those were the most difficult but ultimately we were all pretty happy!

Thank you DisneyNut We had engagement/family photos and I share them every chance I get! lol

My FH has a 9 year old son that I love to pieces! His mom has moved to CA and we are in IN so our visitation is during school breaks. We are including him in our ceremony and couldn't be more excited. I love sharing pics too

FH has an 11 year old son from previous marriage. I have an 11 year old daughter and 6 year old son from previous marriage. We all love one another. I treat soon to be step son as my own and so does FH.

We have been blended together since October. I have my kids on a 7/7 split with thier dad. We get Fh's son every weekend.

I would be telling a hugh lie if I said it was easy. Blending the kids is the hardest thing we have had to do. I think mainly because we have 2 kids that are 6 weeks apart in age and nearing puberty. Lord help us!

Anyway..we love our family and wouldn't change a thing.

My situation is almost the same as yours! FH has 7-year old from when he was 18 and we've been together 6 years. Love her to itty bitty pieces she's gonna be our flower girl. She keeps asking me when I'm gonna give her a brother or sister already!

Well its nice to hear all of the positive stories here but I have the step kids from hell. The 12 year old daughter constantly keeps drama in my home. Ex. Puts her nasty underwear that she has pooped in in the tissue box and covers it with tissue so when you stick your hand in surprise! And when FH confronted her and her mom the both fell out laughing uncontrollably.

@tamika we had issues adjusting at first too, granted that was with a toddler. I went out and got like 3 different books on blended families and parenting step children and they helped quite a bit.

edit: I don't want to sound like I'm downplaying the fact that a 12 year old is putting poop places it doesn't belong... That is messed up! I think there might be other issues at play there.

@Tamika - my kids don't remember their father and I ever being married or living under the same roof. I think that makes a HUGE difference. My kids were 3 and 1 when I left their dad.

I don't know what I'd do if a 12 year old did that to me. I don't like my ex's gf, but if either of my kids did that to her I would flip out. NOT okay, or funny. OMG. That's disgusting.

@Tamika that sounds like maybe mom is egging the behavior on at her house. My ex and his wife tend to do whatever they can to cause me trouble. I swear I think it's her lifelong goal to attempt to make me miserable.

I have 3 kids 12, 20 & 8 (boy & 2 girls) Fh has 2 boys live with us 22& 17, overall it's nice having a big brady bunch family but, I am in the middle of hell right now with the 22yo ss who wants to be an adult without any of the responsibility.

This to shall pass and someday he will turn 40 and be out on his own god willing!

It is so frustrating. I am so hurt by the behavior I'm at my wits end and yes both children were told to do whatever to stop the wedding so they are now not allowed to attend. I also have two children age 14 boy and 6 girl who love my FH as well as they have nothing but respect for the father's wife because that how I raise them to be . But FH says that he can't keep going through this and has tried everything even counseling but they won't talk to her at all. He says that because it's affecting his health he's about to just walk away.