Bossy/entitled Mother In Law

Wow! That’s some rude behavior. I would talk to FH & then talk to the FMIL together & put an end to comments like that. If she’s going to behave like that I’d rather skip using her planning skills & do my own thing. It will be much less stressful!

Actually a lot of weddings these days are paid for by the bride and groom, so she's kinda old school in that area. BUT if she isn't putting the $ where her mouth is, then I would focus on planning the wedding you can afford and is the way you would like it. It's easy for someone else to tell other people how to spend $ when they aren't putting any of their own in the game. You can have a beautiful wedding for 10k or even less. No reason to go into debt, ya know? And at the end of the day, it'll be the wedding YOU want.

I’d make the phrase “that isn’t going to work for us” your best friend. She tells you to book a venue which is double your budget? “That isn’t going to work for us”. She wants to invite her entire extended family? “That isn’t going to work for us”. Stand your ground, don’t try to reason with her (because that makes her think she has a say), don’t try to explain why, just keep repeating “that isn’t going to work for us”.

That's how my FMIL sounds! My family has never had great finances, so from day one I have never expected any financial help from them. Everything they have given has been their choice. My FH's family on the other hand have been well off financially, plus he is an only child (whereas I am 1 of 3 children). FPIL have offered to pay for alcohol (because it's FH's family that drinks, only a few of mine do), rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon. My parents are paying for my dress, both venues, and catering (about $7,000). I am paying for everything else. FH just got a new job, so we are hoping it makes enough so he can help me pay for some things. My FMIL apparently doesn't think that is enough and that they should cover the remaining expenses. It's like, excuse me?? She knows my family's financial situation compared to theirs, so it's not fair for her to think that especially in 2019 where most couples pay for most or all of their wedding themselves (and her and her husband even paid for most of their own wedding). She is complaining about having to feed 30 people at the rehearsal dinner, yet wants my parents to fork out more money. She has also tried to get me to make our reception more expensive when she's not paying for it. I'm very grateful they are all helping out financially, but stay in your own lane! My FH told her to back off and that I would come to her when I need help with something. But a week after that, she stuck her nose in my personal business and insinuated that I NEEDED and EXPECTED their help paying for the honeymoon (when I never even asked). So I am taking a break from talking or seeing her for a bit (I needed a break, she made me cry two weekends in a row). If she wants any information or has any questions, she can go through FH for now. It'll all work out.

I would stop FMIL right in her tracks. If she doesn't want any part of a small, under $10000 wedding and doesn't want to contribute- then she can just choose to skip it. I have no room in my life forn that drama.

Yup, stop that behavior ASAP. Something your FH should do or both of you together. Stick to your guns & budget. Highly consider NOT accepting any money from her because it’ll likely come with strings.

When she throws a fit, your both (or FH) can suggest she host an after-wedding reception and invite everyone she wishes and you two will be happy to show up.

I am trying at the point where I just want to go away and elope between my mother in law and my own mother this planning is going to go out of control and end up causing me debt. Now i see why some people have really long engagements 😓

If the says that the wedding is the bride's family's responsibility, I would say great, glad to know I am marrying into such a traditional family. And the 1939 Emily Post also say all financial responsibility from the minute the couple leaves the reception. So if you are working, you can pay back any loans from the wedding from that.

Your fiance needs to talk to her. It's his mother, he needs to tell her to knock it off.