Bouquets, to be or not to be?

I don't think that a bouquet is required at all! Would you replace it with anything or walk down bare handed?

View Quoted Comment I was thinking just bare handed. One arm is going to be intertwined with my dads and the other hand is going either holding up my dress or helping me balance because me and my dad are both clutz

Maybe have one just for photos ?

View Quoted Comment That's perfectly fine!

View Quoted Comment Yeah I was thinking of having one waiting at the reception so I could at least do the bouquet toss for everyone.

View Quoted Comment Thank you🥰

Thank you so much for writing this post. I have actually recently had several vendors “take the money and run” on us, and our florist was one of them 😩 She took our $1500 deposit and disappeared! I’ve been trying to debate whether to put thousands more down on another long distance florist for our DW (and hope this one actually provides the service!), or wait until a few months before our wedding and hope we can find someone last minute (worst case scenario being that we can’t find anyone and don’t have flowers for our wedding). After reading your post and visualizing what you were saying about one arm being taken up by your dad and the other hand holding your dress, I realized that it wouldn’t look odd at all to not have a bouquet! If anything, it might look like you’re juggling too many things! I know there are obviously tricks to holding the bouquet to make it look not awkward, but I can’t imagine those ways are comfortable for the bride! Plus, once you get to the end of the aisle, you just hand the bouquet over to someone else. Then you have to do the juggling act again on the way back up the aisle at the end of the ceremony. The only real positive I can see to having a bouquet would just be photos after the ceremony and before the reception. Would your bridesmaids be carrying bouquets? If so, you could just use one of those for photos after the ceremony. And if not, I don’t think it would really matter. There are only a handful of photos with the bouquet anyway. If having one isn’t important to you, I would just save the money!
Thanks again for asking this question – it came at the most perfect time and has really helped me make a decision about our floral situation!

View Quoted Comment I’m glad I could help! I don’t think I will have the bridesmaid have bouquets either since half of them are in suits and the other half are in dresses. Also they are walking down with the groomsmen arm in arm. I think it’s just better and easier for everyone if we just don’t do the bouquets. I’m not a flower type of girl anyway and my fiancé is allergic to anything that grows so we did decide to have our entire wedding floral arrangements be fake. It sounds a little trashy but I really don’t like the way flowers smell and most of them die halfway through the reception anyway so I thought: Why waste the money? My cousin is also getting married in November next year, a few months after me and I told her to just use all of the decorations at my wedding so we could get rid of them when the wedding was over so it’ll be her problem after that😆 hobby lobby and dollar tree, depending on where you live, let’s you order craft supplies in bulk and sends them straight to your door. That’s where I’m getting all of my decorations and flowers. And I have an excellent DIYer on my bridal team that loves to put that kind of stuff together. My niece is also very artsy and decided to take some old books apart and turn the pages into flowers. I don’t know if that might help you a little more with flower arrangements or not but if it does, great! Im sorry that your florist ran out on you. That’s a lot of money, you could probably file a small claims against her in court.

View Quoted Comment I had two bouquets. One for the aisle and photos and another throw-one waiting for me under my sweetheart table. So yea! Have your planner just place it somewhere or give it to your bridesmaids to hold.

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You have definitely helped a lot! I have been going back-and-forth trying to make a decision for weeks, And because of you I have made a decision, and it feels like a weight off my shoulders! Unfortunately, we probably won’t be able to take any sort of legal action because the florist lives across the country from us (destination wedding) so we would spend more on lost wages, flights and hotel just to travel there to take her to court (which I’m sure she has thought about and that is why she is pulling this crap 🙄).

So for your bridesmaids…. Will you be having them stand with you, or will they be sitting in the front row after they walk down the aisle? If they are standing with you, what will you have them do with their hands while they are standing? i’ve always seen bouquets as just a way for BMs to have something to do with their hands while they are standing there in front of everyone.

A lot of people do alternatives to bouquets now a days!

A bouquet is an old tradition, but it certainly doesn't have any real purpose and there's no reason to have one if you don't want one. There's also no reason to pick an "alternative" thing to hold (again, unless you want to), even for bridesmaids. No one ever thinks that groomsman need something to do with their hands; it's such an odd gendered holdover. Humans can walk and stand empty handed; they do it every day.

Note to the flower lovers: I love flowers so I had a bouquet. It's fine to have one; it's fine to not have one.

Why do you need to hold your dress?

View Quoted Comment I think the bridesmaids will be standing with me. I didn’t even think about them not having anything to do with their hands. I think I’ll have them holding a bouquet then just so the pictures don’t look awkward. I’m thinking the flowers that my niece is making out of book pages can be turned into bouquets and that’s what they can hold. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for validating me! I’m not a very traditional bride but my fiancé wants this huge wedding. I was fine with a courthouse wedding but he’s not for that at all lol.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! This whole wedding planning has been great but also very odd. I didn’t know half of the traditions and what was mandatory and what wasn’t and turns out people get really upset when you say you don’t want real flowers or a bouquet or to do a garter toss. Luckily my fiancé doesn’t really mind whether we do anything too traditional and thinks the garter toss is really weird anyway. He’s been a real help and so has everyone on this app.

View Quoted Comment We are walking on grass and I’m worried the dress will catch if I’m not absolutely careful. It’s tailored to me and it’s the right length and my seamstress said I shouldn’t have any problems but I don’t think she understand that two insanely clumsy people will be walking down the aisle together arm in arm. I just want to be prepared in case I need to hold my dress.

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All that is mandatory are you, your future spouse, an officiant, and a license. Everything else is icing. Traditions (which vary wildly from place to place, family to family, and are ever-evolving) are only worth keeping if they are important to YOU. I get it that you are fielding a lot of outside opinions, but, truly, those opinions don't matter unless they come from the person you are marrying, or anyone paying for your wedding.

View Quoted Comment I just realized your name is also Maggie. Thank you, truly.

I am 10000% with you on this. I never liked the look of them. I think they look very awkward in photos and unnatural. I am also planning on walking down the aisle with my dad and when I get to the end I will be holding hands with my fiancé.